• blogging

    to martina on her (32nd) birthday

    I turn 32 today. I feel like I’m 8. I act like I’m 12. I’ve talked about this before, but it’s my birthday so I make the rules. When I was in first grade, we had journals that we were given a prompt to write about every day. Usually just a sentence or two and a small illustration. I remember one prompt being something like “what will you be doing when you’re 30?” My response was something like “I will be in my wheelchair, in the nursing home with my husband and we will have a limo.” Adorable. (You’ll have to believe me since I still can’t find the journal…

  • blogging,  Life,  photography,  stoop tawk,  weight loss

    martina is losing it #6

    Now that my birthday has come and gone, I could tell you that I didn’t hit 31 for 31. Instead, I hit 32 pounds! I’m being kind of cavalier with my finger guns and semantics, especially since I weighed in before my birthday weekend. My birthday was very nice, thanks for asking. Anyway, 32 pounds. My mind is constantly blown. I will never stop saying how surreal it is because it will never ever stop feeling surreal to me. For my birthday, I knew I didn’t want to drink. I drank at Jessica’s birthday celebration and I gained a pound, so that wasn’t happening again. I ordered a lobster roll…

  • blogging,  Life


    I’ve officially been on this earth for 3 decades. It’s just crazy to me because, in my mind, I’m still this kid. Or this one Most especially this little weirdo Man, that was quick. In some ways, I still am that kid. I’m not here today to get all intro/retrospective about turning 30. I’ve learned things. I’ve had good and bad times. That’s what your 20s are for. There are two things short conversations I’ve had recently that I wanted to include in my birthday post because I feel like they sum up what I’m feeling perfectly. The first one was with an Uber driver. Somehow my birthday came up…

  • blogging,  Life

    here comes 30

    In a month from Wednesday, I’ll be 30. 30 Holy hell. That was a fast 3 decades. I’ve been feeling my age lately, like my mind and body are already making the transition to this new phase of life. Today I’m going to talk about them so that you can comment down below and tell me you’re experiencing the same things and I could sigh, wipe my brow and think “woooo, it’s not just me”. Everything hurts Last month, I got up off my couch, turned to pick up my phone and couldn’t straighten up. I swear I saw stars. It was the worst.  It took about two weeks to…

  • blogging,  Life,  photo dump,  weekend update

    weekend update: burgers, shakes and statues

    I don’t do weekend recap posts often, but when I do… they’ll be here. I actually did things this weekend and since I have some time to write about them, I figured, why not? Lisa’s birthday is next week but being the busy adults we are, we penciled in plans for Saturday night. Jessica’s landlord is a producer on Saturday Night Live and as a birthday surprise, Jess was able to score tickets for her and Lisa to see the show. The host was Aziz Ansari, who we happened to see as a special guest at the Comedy Cellar. He used some of the same jokes in his monologue and I…

  • blogging,  Life

    last stop before thirty

    Today is my 29th birthday. yikes. I only have one more of these left until 30, which is mind blowing to me. Thirty years is a long time. Like last year, I feel like I should be able to put together a touching, thought provoking post about being in the last year of my twenties. But I got nothing. Not even a listicle of things I’m younger than to make myself feel better. I made a promise to myself at the beginning of the year that I would start to say yes to things that I might have said no to. Interestingly enough, I haven’t written about any of them yet,…

  • blogging,  Life

    weekend update: birthdays, bridesmaids, and onion rings

    Happy Monday! I don’t know about you but I’m ready to start a new week! Oh, it’s Tuesday already? Great. Slacked again. Anyway, I had a full weekend and didn’t want the opportunity to tell you all about it to pass. Sounds like fun, right? that’s the spirit! Friday – I was up at the ass crack of dawn because I had to be at work for 6:45am. I don’t usually work on Fridays so this was a double shock to the system. After work, I went home, freshened up and went to meet my cousins in Queens for happy hour in the city to celebrate my cousin Desiree’s birthday. After…

  • blogging,  Life

    celebrate 28!

    I really wanted to write something prolific about being in my late, late twenties. Like all the things I’ve learned thus far. Something Thought Catalog worthy. Something that would go viral. Well, if there’s one thing I’ve learned about life it’s that it lets you down. Just like this post. So instead of something thoughtful and poetic you’re going to have to settle for some gifs. I searched the internet for these myself so I’ll just accept that A for effort, thankyouverymuch. #CELEBRATE28 Ok, I’m off to stuff my face with cake!

  • blogging,  Life

    don’t call it a comeback.. except that’s what it is

    Sooooo… how’ve ya been? I just wanted to come on here and let everyone (the one or two of you who stuck around) know that I’m here! I’m not even going to apologize for lack of posts because as much as I’ve missed it here, I’ve been seriously lacking in creativity, motivation and the general hilarity I’ve tried to always bring to this space. I am going to try to not bring up what’s going on with my dad in every post, but it’s such a big part of my life right now, I can’t seem to help it. Hence why I’ve stayed away. He’s been home from the hospital…

  • blogging,  Life

    one year

    My little blog turns one year old today! I’m a bit more excited than I thought I would be. I guess since it took me almost the full year to get started. I wish I had something planned, like a giveaway or something. I feel like a mom who forgot to plan her kid’s birthday party so she hired her husband’s foul mouthed friend to throw on a clown costume, and threw some pizza bites in the oven while she ran out to find a card and some balloons. This is why I don’t have children. That, and the lack of anything slightly romantic in my life. But, I have…