blogging,  dating,  Life,  photo dump

recap: 2021

helllloooo internet!

how is everyone? thriving, i hope. listen, as usual i know i disappeared. i don’t want to make excuses for it so i won’t, but if i were to do that i’d say life has been abnormally flip turned upside down lately. another thing i know is that i still “owe” this blog the second soulmate drawing. let’s be honest – you’re not going to get it. not right now, at least. the long and short of it was that i almost dropped my phone when i opened the email because he looked exactly like someone i used to have a crush on/thought i had a shot with. he’s married with two kids now sooo… yep.

anyway, it’s time for my yearly recap so here we are. right now it is christmas day and the christmas season is all about reflection, right? let’s hop in!

january kicked off with a birthday, which is a great place to start. chrissy two chains turned two in the beginning of the month. i can’t believe he’ll be three in a few weeks. does this mean he needs another chain? at the end of the month, everyone’s favorite meatball turned one and, thanks to (favorite) aunt martina he had his first taste of a cannoli and clearly, he loved it. my cousin desiree moved into the city right before the lockdown began so almost a year later, we had a small cousins housewarming. the weather was agreeable for a while, so it made it easy to get out and have an imprpotu photoshoot at the promenade. to round out the month, i took the plunge and started going to a bougie salon in long island. my wallet looks a little thin, but my hair has never looked better.

since i’m using my pictures to jog my memory and it seems like i don’t have any from february, i assume nothing happened. maybe it snowed? moving on.

march was very exciting because i got my first dose of the vaccine. i had mine at the javits center, which was run by the national guard. i think that says it all. it was done with military precision. i got a little emotional as i took everything in because i (thought) i saw the light at the end of this long pandemic tunnel. i should have known better because now were in the throes of a surge in cases but i digress. it felt hopeful and so forward moving. we’re living history, which i know happens outside of a pandemic but this is HISTORY history, you know? feels bigger because it is bigger. march also started the official #lasttotanc wedding countdown. we had nicole’s shower and then it was straight home to the wedding. speaking of weddings, lisa and i stumbed across a surprise proposal near the bridge. must be nice… i mean all the best!

the wedding the only thing that happened in april. this was also when i had my second dose of the vaccine. again at the javits center but a little less emotional. it happened on easter, so there was definite reawakening vibes but i guess we’re still coming out of the tomb. after that, it was all systems go – party time! the wedding was the release we all needed. we laughed, we danced, we drank, we celebrated. and i had the better of the maid of honor/best man speeches so that was a win.

like february, may was a quiet month. with more and more people getting vaccinated, everything seemed a little less bleak. we love a good false sense of security! my cousins and i got together for a cousins dinner in staten island. spent lots of time on islands this month. i ventured out to long island for a hair appointment (of course) and some meatball hang time (of course). is that it? i’m not sure. i’m really slacking on the documenting.

june rolled in and brought with it the newest tiny (but chunky) human, super duper luca. we became fast friends and he smiles and laughs at me every time i see him. he’s a great ego boost. #obsessed. according to my camera roll, the only other things in june that went on were another cousin’s night and celebrating a family friend’s retirement. this is such a shit post because i have to say it again, i really think there was more going on but lolol i have no proof (and a swiss cheese brain).

we’re finally at the best month of the year – july. i turned 34. *takes a minute to compose self because the realization of turning 35 this coming july has officially hit* i got myself invited to a 4th of july bbq, where i hung out with lots of littles. speaking of littles, little miss gabriella turned one! i know, those cheeks kill me too. another interesting (but not documented.. well, there are screenshots but i’m a lady and won’t share… maybe) thing that happened in july (maybe some of june) was me getting love bombed. well, sort of love bombed. let me explain – i matched with this guy on bumble. that should tell most of the story, but i’ll continue. we texted every day, called a few times a week. he was extremely complimentary, almost to an embarrassing degree (ALMOST, i’m human). everything felt completely right and also COMPLETELY wrong. like, i asked him for his last name and he got very defensive. i blamed myself. you’re jaded. you’re too guarded. learn how to take a compliment. you’re overthinking again just go with the flow, FFS. finally, i had a free minute (in the midst of this i was taking part one of a medical billing and coding class. i decided to not continue with parts two and three. not because of this situation, but other things) i made arrangements with him to meet in coney island. immediate regret. i figured it’s july, the boardwalk is crowded, nicole lives close by, i’ll be safe. my nerves got the better of me and i asked him if we could change to marine park. he said yes. we were supposed to meet two days after my birthday, so he said he was on his way to the mall to buy “someone” a gift because their birthday was soon. i FUUURRREEAAKKEEDDD out. i tried to play it cool and told him that was nice of him but make sure he gets a gift reciept. that shit was going back. i didn’t care if he got me the hope diamond. NO. THANK. YOU, SIR. so, the day/time comes aaaanddd he never shows. so there i was, standing in the same exact spot where i was stood up (twice) almost a year before, getting stood up again. lisa says i should find a new meet up spot. i haven’t heard from him since. i didn’t expect to and it’s definitely for the better. HOWEVER, the fun doesn’t end there! after a little digging from my cracker jack team, we found out that he *may* have been arrested for revenge porn and his family *might* have had enough money to cover it up (doubtful, but possible). two, he has a girlfriend who has kids (teens) that he calls his stepdaughters (so how long has THAT been going on?) and i’m almost positive he lives in a studio apartment with his mom and bird (that shits all over the place). to say i dodged a bullet is putting it mildly. i dodged an M80. i’d be lying if i said i didn’t miss the everyday ego boosts though (we went over this – i’m HUMAN). i feel like i’m not conveying the situation adaquately enough. trust me – this was a roller coaster of a month or so.

my god i’m not sure why i’m writing this post because august doesn’t have many pictures to jog my memory either. vinny’s birthday was celebrated and lisa and i explored/got ice cream in forest hills. we also took a ride to little italy, where we found the cutest jewelry store and got delicious chicken parm sandwiches at parma. highly recommend.

we’ve made it to the top of the 9th, which is fitting because in september, i went to the 9/11 subway series game with nicole and pat. sign me up to go every year. it was a great time. with amazing chicken fingers. i was betrayed by two of my oldest friends this month. nicole, jess and i went to brunch, where i wore a bright yellow skirt. these bitches neglected to tell me that the skirt was 100% see through. jerks. also hung out with some cuties who love me even when you can fully see my underwear.

we’re almost done, folks. october brought the fun when i went to get my hair done (hahahaha as usual) and wound up leaving with an extremely flat tire. like the blub blub blub flat tire. a good samaritan helped me fill it and i was able to get to vinny and lisamarie’s where he and lisamarie’s brother put on my spare. then i drove myself home reciting every prayer i was taught in CCD. what a ride (literally). other highlights – a harold’s family dinner, and more meatball hangs. oh, and halloween.

whew. two more months. we got this.

in november shit got real. my father decided he needed to get some cold cuts from the store around the corner. he drove around the block, parked and as he was stepping up on to the curb, he fell. he was taken to the emergency room by ambulance (which, if you know my father, he must have been in a ton of pain to go in the ambulance). when he got to the hospital, they figured out that he had fractured his hip in two places. normally, they immediately take you into surgery to repair a break like that. with my father, this was not the case. they thought it was best for him to go for physical therapy in an inpatient rehab. on top of this, while he was in the hospital, he was diagnosed with dementia. this explains a TON. his health/mental status was not the best these last few years so it’s really nice to have a concrete reason. he’s been in the rehab facility since before thanksgiving and we’re trying to make it so that he stays there long term. i might be saying too much but i will say that my and my mom’s decisions are our decisions. he’s safe and taken care of (for the most part. i am not thrilled with this place, but that’s for another time). our mental health is better. the vibe in the house is calmer. so now we’re trying to navigate a new normal.

on a more fun note, lisa, desiree and i went to the edge. it’s a totally clear enclosure (??) overlooking the entire city. it’s really something else. anyway, it was a really good time with beautiful views. i also drove to the city ALL BY MYSELF to get there. i’ll tell ya, this pandemic has been a bitch but i will be forever greatful to it for giving me freedom. isn’t that wild? the world is locked down and i’m like a bird out of the cage. november was a busy month in general. hung out with some members of my fan club, attended super duper luca’s baptism. there was thanksgiving and an early friendsmas celebration at a spin art place.

ok, we made it.

december brought the chaos that the holiday season always brings. obviously, there was christmas and christmas eve. both were great days filled with kids, family, laughter and too much food. luck was on our side and we were able to see one of the last radio city rockette shows of the season, since they shut down because of covid the next day. today, on the second to last day of the year (yes, it took me daaaysss to write this) i got my covid booster shot. now i’m just waiting for the side effects to hit me like a freight train. my plans for tomorrow were cancelled, due to covid but i’m still going to wear my red underwear and find my way under a table (sober) at midnight.

and that’s all she wrote.

not pictured this year – i gained around 25 pounds. i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t upset and that i have every confidence that i’ll nip this in the butt and get that extra weight off. because i am and no, i’m not sure. i’m hoping i can but my self control is at an all-time low and my stress at an all-time high.

i think 2022 is the year of a new job. things are going on at the warehouse that i can’t wrap my head around and i think it’s time to make a change. also, i need more money.

the love bombing/revenge porn nutjob wasn’t the only guy from the apps this year. i had one guy who seemed nice enough but he could never find time to meet me. he found time to join a darts league and sleep for 19 hours but meet me? nah. i’m not saying he can’t have interests or that his job (he was in the restaurant industry) isn’t exhausting but, dude. and the cherry on top of the shit sundae that is my (dating) life was when i matched with the guy from high school/lives in my neightborhood who led me on for five months (i meant to write about him here but i might not have. that last sentence pretty much sums it up though) on hinge, AGAIN. THE AUDACITY OF MEN, MY GOD IN HEAVEN. i told him about himself and moved on.

i slid into my first DM. i liked this guy on hinge. he had his instagram linked. i stalked. (don’t try to tell me you wouldn’t/don’t do the same. you LIAR.) he checked off a LOT of boxes. so i sent a DM acknowledging that this was bordering on bunny boiler status but i wanted to introduce myself and that we have some interests in common. blah blah blah. he responded (on christmas eve) that he was flattered but had just started seeing someone new that he was really excited about (i feel like he’s lying but he was nice about it so i guess i have to give him credit, right?) i wished him well and proceeded to have a full-on tantrum that i, a spoiled only child, did not get my way. i’m pretty much over it now but wooo boy that one stung.

i started seeing a therapist this year. i’m on my second one and have to decide if i’m going to look for a third. therapists are unfortunately not one size fits all. at this point though, instead of shelling out my hard earned cash, my better bet might be to just continue texting every person i know and crowd sourcing solutions to my problems. it’s worked for this long.

i think i’m done.

i’m not making resolutions this year except to reign it in with the eating. cut the shit, martina. i just want to be happy, healthy and (every kind of) loved. and i want the same for my family and friends. and i want to travel but let’s see what kind of energy covid is bringing to the table.

i hope this wasn’t too boring (i wrote it and it’s my life so there’s a strong possibility that it was) and that you enjoyed. have a happy, healthy and safe new year! see you soon, hopefully.

love you, mean it

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