just call me quarentina

full disclosure: it took me a full 7 minutes to log in here because i forgot not only my password, but the email i use. this also led me to un-earthing a long forgotton, never posted blog/ blog post. either way, i’m here. and you’re here. in this quaran-weird time, where else would you be?

edit: i don’t know why or how it happened, but this post went up on my site instead of on here. i was wondering why i had not engagement. not that i have os much usually but i usually get a like or two thrown my way on twitter (thanks Dez!). i know nothing about websites or how to run them, but is there a way to delete that site but insure that those posts are still available here? also, i’m noticing that some of my posts “cannot be found”. i don’t know what‘s going on. this blog may self destruct. i love you all.

anyway, here’s the post you should have seen six days ago.

i don’t remember where we left off at all. as far as weight loss, i gained 4.3 pounds two (three?) weeks ago. the following week, i lost 1.3 and last week i lost 4. all of this to say i’m now at my lowest ever weight on this journey. this weekend has been a struggle because there’s not much to do but eat. snack, specifically. that’s all i want to do. snack and look like a snack. what a conundrum.

now let’s talk quarantine. i feel like i needed to post something if only for posterity’s sake. the governor, andrew cuomo, aka my new fantasy father, has put the state into quarantine because of the global pandemic, covid-19 aka coronavirus (holy commas, batman! what a run-on. i’m not fixing it. not sorry.) i know we’re all acutely aware of this at this point, but if i’m only posting for the sake of posterity, i want to have all the info laid out here. it’s been two weeks already. since i work in a warehouse that also supplies health and beauty aids, we were deemed essential. at first, this made me so angry. it’s not that i wanted to close so that i didn’t have to go to work. because believe me, there would be a murder in this house. only time would tell who would meet their maker, but someone would not be getting out of this quarantine alive. and it would not be at the hands of corona. it’s because my boss’s wife would come in and scream about CORONA! and THE VIRUS! and WE CAN’T GET SICK! but then look at me and constantly remind me that my parents are older and having health issues. (yes, but nothing respiratory, thank God.) and shame me for “letting” them go out. last i checked, they’re still my parents. i can’t lord over them. and, by and large, they’re always in the house so i’m really not too worried about them. so then let me stay home so that i don’t bring anything home to them and so that i could make sure that they don’t leave. that was my solution for week one. i fumed. i’ve never felt angrier. i was concerned for myself, frankly. i hated when she would walk in (after lunch), telling us to STAY AWAY FROM EACH OTHER! she wouldn’t even take my stapler from me. she held the papers and i stapled them. i couldn’t help but to feel … dirty…? sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how you say them and your actions around it.

by the end of the first week, she had gone full psycho. i’m not judging; it’s been rough for everyone. if we had deliveries come in, she would not allow the drivers in. i get it, but the virus lives on cardboard for a very long time so if it’s on our deliveries, we’re screwed either way. still we, as “essential” employees, had no masks (even though they aren’t effective anyway unless you’re already sick, according to the doctors on the news), no gloves and no hand sanitizer. just like the rest of the world. this made me feel super comfortable and safe coming into work. i was never afraid of getting sick, i’m afraid of being a carrier and giving it to anyone, especially someone i’m close to (like my “elderly” roommates parents.)

week two started with me coming into work and being told they found one box of XL gloves and that they got 1 mask each from the hardware store across the street (who are selling .65 cent masks for $2 – $3 dollars or a box of 50 for $100. just saying.) we were also provided with a bottle of pepcid complete each because my boss heard from the head of some hospital that taking 2 pepcid complete a day will help keep the virus away. i don’t believe it in the slightest but if it makes him feel better, then by all means. if nothing else, it will save me from the agita all of this has brought. brung. broughtten. whatever.

our driver refused to “suit up” and wanted to know why he wasn’t allowed to come into the building without gloves and/or a mask on. um. you’re out making deliveries all day. it’s a safety precaution. maybe you don’t care if you get it, but we do. we care about you and we SURE AS SHIT care about ourselves and our families. however, it’s all in how you say things sometimes and my boss, although a salesman, does not always use great wording. the driver tried to make the case that he couldn’t afford $50 a week in gloves/masks. ok, but whenever you bark for money for a $4 toll and for money for gas, you ALWAYS get it.. so I’m not sure what you’re saying or where you’re going with this. to play devil’s advocate though – masks and gloves should be changed with frequency. we weren’t supplying him with more than one mask and one pair of gloves, so really what’s the point? you know? like, yes, it’s a good show to wear them, but when those gloves have touched everything, everywhere and the mask is wet from your breathing into it (ew, david.), who is that protecting? that situation caused some problems but i for one, live for some drama. most especially when i get to sit back and watch.

week two it was realized that my boss’s mother is elderly and has someone to take care of her. if that lady gets sick and can’t do her job, then his wife would have to step in. bottom line – no one was allowed to get sick now, FOR REAL. so it was decided she would stay home. i began to breathe again. week two also got it very firmly through my thick skull that if we close, we aren’t opening again. there are 3+ million people out of work right now. i can’t be one of them. it took me faaarrrr too long to find this job. i lived through the recession, where there were only about 700,000 people on unemployment. i don’t know if i have the strength. needless to say, my attitude changed. now my anxiety is focused on us not closing our doors. or if we close, is it 1000000% definite that this is it? we’ll really never open again? is it too early to file for retirement? do i even have a pension?

since i have the opportunity to add things now, seeing as this post went all the way out into cyberspace and boomeranged back, i would like to add that this past week, my boss asked if i had any reservations coming to work. my parents didn’t raise a stupid girl (an idiot, maybe, but not a stupid one), i said “no …?…” and he said “ok, good. i didn’t you to think that i was making you guys do something you didn’t want to do.” first of all, if this were week one – i would have been annoyed. of course i have reservations about ignoring a quarantine order to come HERE! but now, it’s a respite. this weekend, i’ve had more little quarrels with my roommates parents than there are hours in a day. maybe i’m the problem. also, the whole thing about actually having a job to go to is a huge motivator for me. he also asked if i knew how to cut hair because i “seemed like i would know how to do that”. um. no, but thanks? are you saying i look like one of those cool girls who work in the salon who always has a different hair color but it always looks so good that you almost forget lavender hair does not grow naturally? I’ll take the compliment. he didn’t say it, but i would bet that if i said yes, he would sign me up to go over to his mom’s house and give her a quick wash and set. on a related note, tonight’s plans are to use a small jar of oVertone color depositing conditioner to try to make my hair green. or at least make the lighter parts of my hair green. i tried it yesterday and it didn’t really take. i have another jar and lots of time, so let’s see what happens later. #quarengreen.

otherwise, things have been just moving along. we’re allowed to take socially distant walks so lisa and i have tried to do that nightly, weather and allergies permitting. i’ve run to the grocery store a few times. finding parking near work is an adventure because it’s mostly residential so that adds to the day’s excitement. everyone is watching the tiger king documentary on netflix, but not me. i’ve taken to re-watching Mindy. my GOD i love danny. how do i always forget how much i love him? right now i’m watching the live-action remake of aladdin and i might put on a full face of makeup to take some selfies. a typical sunday, if you ask me.

speaking of the grocery store, my goodness do those people who work at the stores deserve all the praise. first of all, i could never work in retail. the public at large makes me nauseous and i would never willingly sign up for a job at the local supermarket or at the mall (not that it’s open right now, but you get what i mean). add to that a worldwide pandemic? they’d either have to haul me out of there in handcuffs or a straight jacket. my tenure at the veterinarian’s office almost did me in. i cannot even imagine. my mom and i went to shoprite yesterday (saturday), because we are rebels. we got there at 830ish in the morning and the store was already mobbed. jam packed. organized chaos, but still. the girl who rang us out had to have been if not a senior in high school, then somewhere on her college journey. it just made me sad that she probably started there thinking “oh, i’ll be making a few dollars. this is good.” then BOOM. global pandemic. she just seemed so sweet and so young. i don’t know, i just felt bad. so THANK YOU to all of the people working in and for grocery stores.

same for people in the restaurant industry. i know of a few places near me offering (what i’m calling) mini catering packages. so, it’s like a choice of pasta, a salad and an entree for 6 people (or 6 meals) for like $40? can’t beat it. thank you to the delivery drivers, the cooks/chefs, the people answering the phones. another job i don’t have the constitution for.

it should also go without saying that the doctors, nurses, paramedics, and all of the other medical professionals deserve a massive thank you. they’re working in sub-par conditions, with limited supplies and resources. the cases just keep flooding in. they’re risking their health and the health of their family just to keep us healthy and safe. this is why we (should) stay home. new york is currently the epicenter of the virus in the country. we have the most cases and seen the most deaths. the governor (dad) has asked for 30,000 more ventilators so that, you know 2 people don’t have to share one, and the president says he “doesn’t believe [we] need that many.” ok, dude. maybe go and pay carole baskin a visit, would ya? (i may not be watching tiger king, but i’ve seen the memes)

ok, friends. i think i’ve said my peace. piece? i’ll try to be more present on here but, as usual, i’m not making any promises.

love you, mean it. stay healthy!

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