trump

i’m back! and whinier than ever!

I told you I wouldn’t be back right away. I didn’t think it would take this long for me to actually sit and write something to post, yet here we are a mere month later.

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I’m going to be real with you. I’ve thought about writing and posting pretty much every single day. And every day something would “come up”. I’m stuck at work. I have nothing to say. I’m tired. and on, and on, and on… 

I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I’m hoping that by getting this posted, I can break away from whatever is bothering me. I’m in one of those stages where I can’t pinpoint what’s wrong. There has to be something wrong since I have had absolutely no desire, past doing it in my head, to do what I truly enjoy.  blogging and taking pictures, in case you weren’t sure. I feel lazy, unsure, not funny, just all around ill-equipped to be here, running this blog. It’s a funky funk. I think. I hope. I feel fragile but for absolutely no reason. Maybe it’s not fragility, maybe it’s more vulnerability. Either way, it’s not something I’m used to and I don’t like it. Is this normal? Do you feel like this too sometimes?

I’ve been waiting/looking for inspiration. I keep up with my favorite bloggers, hoping that something will turn the light on in my brain. Nothing. Don’t get me wrong. I think you guys are great. AMAZING. But your stories are your stories. I can’t pull inspiration from things that I can’t relate to/never experienced.

I’m hesitant to write this because I feel like every few months (weeks, if i’m being honest) I’m here complaining about my life. My job(s), my (lack of) romance, my weight/clothes shopping, what have you. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of the constant whining.

wahhhhhh i don’t wanna work weekends.  wahhhhhh #foreveralone. wahhhhhh shopping sucks.

That’s how it sounds in my head, at least.

The fact of the matter is, if everybody’s workin’ for the weekend, then you got it covered so I’ll just stay home. I just want a regular job. 9am-5pm (or 7-3 or 8-4, whatever), with my own desk, computer with internet access (you would think this is standard; it’s 2017. you would think.) Maybe one that showcases my skills. Definitely one that affords me to do basic things (like take a day off and not worry about finding coverage or not getting paid for the day).

I paid for a month of OKCupid. It’s not going well. To be fair, I guess you get what you put in and I’m not making much of an effort, but I digress. I’m getting a handful more messages/likes than usual but nothing that would have me think “why didn’t I do this sooner?” Have I put myself out there in other ways? No, but can we just not go there?

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I don’t know what to say about shopping. When it’s good, it’s OK and when it’s bad, it sucks big elephant dick. (remember when i said i thought cursing was becoming too free and easy? let’s all have a laugh at my hypocrisy)

I’m also really tired (like, really tired. exhausted even) of the absolute fuckery that’s going on in the White House/government lately. On the news, they were reporting about the nerve gas attack in Syria. The Commander in Tweet released a statement blaming President Obama and his administration for it (wut?) and then basically told the Syrian dictator to carry on. NBD. NERVE GAS. As in a chemical that is banned by the civilized world. GTFO.

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It also doesn’t help that my father is obsessed with, as he calls him, the Trumpster, so it’s all news all the time in my house. And by obsessed, I mean in a good way, like, how do we get rid of him? Here, sign this petition.

As if it needs to be said at this point, but everything has been annoying me lately. Like, a lot more than usual. Things that shouldn’t get under my skin are getting under there and setting up camp. Everything has been making me suck my teeth and roll my eyes. I’m (almost) 30, not 13. WHAT IS GOING ON? But then again, some eye rolls are warranted. Like when my boss yesterday went to pick up her phone to make a phone call, thought better of it, and then asked me to make the call instead. Or, like when she called me from her desk with a functioning computer on it, to ask if I could email a student about an event that we were having last night. seriously?

Life isn’t all bad though. Harry Styles is releasing his first solo single on Friday and will be on SNL the following week. I can’t wait to hear that raspy voice and get lost in those sparkling emerald eyes of his.

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I jumped on the bandwagon and updated the name on my blog’s Facebook page. If you’re thinking of changing yours, DO IT. I haven’t seen a huge jump in views, but there’s definitely more traffic to the page, which hopefully, will lead to traffic to the blog.

Am I being dramatic? Yea, probably.

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Eventually, inspiration will hit and I’ll be back, better than ever. Like I never left.

Thanks for reading! Thanks for putting up with me. I’m a real handful. A gem.

On a quick sidenote – what’s everyone watching? I am really loving Feud: Bette and Joan. They were some #badbitches. You can’t go wrong with Ryan Murphy.

coming at us from both coasts, so to speak

I had another post planned. Actually, nothing was planned, I just didn’t expect to write this today. So don’t expect another, funnier, less political post is what I’m saying.

So, we’ve all seen the toxic cesspool that Facebook has turned into since the election. Normally, I’ll ignore it. Especially since in real, non-internet life, I like these people. They’re friends, family, family friends and I’m usually able to separate the two.

However, today I saw two things that made my normally 98.6 degree blood boil. Interestingly enough, they came from the same person. Before I get into it, let me set some of the scene. There are people that I am friends with on Facebook that even I don’t know how they got there. Some I probably shouldn’t have asked/accepted in the first place and some I should delete, but honestly, I can’t be bothered. That being said, the person who knocked me over the edge today was my friend’s grandmother.

First I saw that she had commented on a post that was congratulating Betsy DeVos on her appointment as the new Secretary of Education. barf. The comment she left was “Congratulations. Make America Smart Again!”

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HOW? HOW IS SOMEONE WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EDUCATION EXPERIENCE GOING TO “MAKE AMERICA SMART AGAIN”? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW? I would love to be enlightened. And, smart AGAIN? The only time we stopped being smart was when we elected that rotting tangerine. I say “we” very loosely because I had nothing to do with that decision.

I put my phone down for a while but lunchtime rolled around and I was scrolling again. This is when I saw a status from the same person saying “Don,t they ever get tired of demonstrating? Get freaking life already. Who cares what u think.”

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actual gif of me reading that status.

THEY’RE DEMONSTRATING BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU! People who are so intolerant, so close-minded, so uninformed. They’re demonstrating against the bullies and the incompetents that you’ve put into power. So, no. They won’t get tired of demonstrating. Some of their freaking lives depend on it.

To be fair, I know that some people who either voted for Trump or who support him aren’t intolerant, incompetent or uninformed. I don’t think those people have Facebook accounts, though. Or, they are capable of having an adult conversation/debate with someone who doesn’t agree with their views. Also, I know that there are people like this on both sides of the fence. I saw a picture of someone at a protest (I’m not sure which one so I might be taking this out of context) with a sign that said something like “Don’t hire veterans. They’re already broken” or some other nonsense. I find that wildly inappropriate. The shitstorm is coming at us from both coasts, so to speak.

Is there a way to fast forward to a time when we’re through this tantrum the country is going through? Or maybe rewind to simpler “President Bush mispronounced a word” times? Let me know.

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it’s a lot to take in

I’m the type of person who copes with things by trying to move past them as quickly as possible, yet wind up usually obsessing/overthinking the situation. Then I get annoyed and overwhelmed and can’t stand thinking/talking/ hearing about whatever it is. Then I get riled up again and they cycle continues.

Right now I’m in the annoyed and overwhelmed stage of the election. I’m not going to talk much about it because I physically and mentally can’t. I just don’t want to. I’m disappointed in the people who voted for Trump for the sole reason that”he isn’t Hillary”. I’m disappointed in the people who didn’t vote. I’m disappointed in the Trump supporters who won’t stop berating and belittling anyone who doesn’t agree with them. I’m just disappointed in the whole situation. On both sides. It’s a lot to take in. It’s a lot to handle.

My mom compared this win to when the Mets win a game or two, especially against the Yankees. This might not mean much to a non-New Yorker but believe me, it’s the perfect analogy. Yankee fans get a bad rep. They’re pompous, they’re mean, they’re arrogant. This (not pompous, not mean, not arrogant) Yankee fan can tell you, the first time or two,you brush it off but after that, it’s hard to hear what a piece of shit you are and how you need to suck up your loss. Like we’re not allowed to be sad for our team, but yours got lucky once and no one will hear the end of it.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are people who are happy with the outcome. That’s fine. Celebrate! Feel good! But don’t make me feel bad for feeling bad. And don’t tell me to “shut up and get over it”. Don’t be ugly, the world is ugly enough.

I think I’ve gotten off course. My point is, it’s been a looooooong election season. And FOR THE LOVE OF GOD:

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My heart just can’t take it.

 

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