commemorating thirty

how does someone who was pretty much mentally ready to turn 30, but still feels not adult enough to be 30, celebrate the event?

with a photo shoot, duh.

as we all know, a little less than a month ago, i turned 30. i pretty much had gotten over the whole “wahhh i’m not married, i don’t have kids, i’m single as a dollar bill, i hate my job(s), I’M NOT READY FOR THIS nonsense a while ago. However, i felt like I needed to do something frivolous and fun for myself to officially leave my twenties behind.

i searched all over the internet for a photographer who does session photography that wouldn’t cost me my first born. who knew that would be such a debacle? i must have looked at 100 photographer’s websites, facebook pages, and instagrams and the bottom line was unless you were getting married, newly engaged or becoming a parent, it was going to be very hard to find someone without emailing for pricing. i’m not against shooting off a quick email, i just didn’t want to waste anyone’s time.

just when I was about to give up, i  was talking to my cousin’s wife and she was telling me that she has a friend that does all of their family photo shoots. i asked if she thought her friend would be interested in doing something like this and made sure i wouldn’t look like a creep if i sent her a facebook message. once she assured me that i wouldn’t look like a creep (which was my bigger concern over if she would be willing to even do this.), off to facebook i went.

i had a definite vision for this shoot because my mind is a pinterest board. i knew i wanted to incorporate balloons, glitter, confetti, and the brooklyn promenade. i wanted it to be fun and flirty. actually, what i told stephanie was i wanted it to be very sex and the city minus carrie because, quite frankly, she was annoying and i am not a fan. thankfully, stephanie was totally on board.

i wanted to have fun props to work with because i think they make these things fun. i found big, chunky glitter and a confetti popper at target. my inner martha stewart came out and i put together a “thirty for beginners” book. well, book cover.


i went to target and found the binder, which was the perfect shade of pink. i headed over to the craft section and found the letters and hoped that they would fit. they did, thank martha.


i met stephanie on the promenade and we immediately got started. she brought some great props as well so i was even more excited. i warned her that i suffer from resting bitch face and my nose gets a little hook-like and my feet stick out so just warn me and ill fix myself. i love being in front of the camera as much as i love being behind it, but this was totally out of my comfort zone. i had no idea what to do with my arms, how to smile, or more importantly, how to smeyes. i feel like i fell into the groove pretty quickly. once i got my face down pat, and the balloons started to cooperate, i started to worry less and less what i looked like and more about having fun.

after a few shots, we decided to incorporate the balloons so that we didn’t have to worry about the wind. admittedly, they were a pain in the neck but, to me, so worth it. i love balloons, especially in photo shoots. they’re fun and add an element of whimsy.

i thought i’d use my blue light blocking glasses to make myself more studious because i need to know all i can about being in my thirties. it’s a whole new decade! even though that’s an empty binder and i don’t really wear glasses. it’s all about the aesthetic.

next we tried with the glitter. i have always wanted to do a glitter photo shoot. throwing it, blowing it, whatever. the first few attempts were ok, but stay tuned for some really good glitter action.

we moved off the promenade to the surrounding brownstones. the brownstones were what i truly loved about going to school in that area. they are beautiful in every season, they have charm and tons of history. then there’s me loitering, blowing glitter all over them. #norespect.

we happened to spot a taxi cab waiting for a pick up a little ways down the block. i loooove taxis so when stephanie asked if i wanted to use it, i was so game. the driver was so nice and let us take a few shots near and in the car. the cab was from new jersey and i told him i need to stay on this side of the state line.

we found another stoop to sprinkle a little 30 dust on. i don’t think you’re ready for this magic.

we took a few more shots, including using the confetti popper and then called it a day.

if we could do this every week, i would. i had so much fun and i LOVED the outcome.

I’M READY FOR YOU, THIRTY. (even though, i’ve been thirty for almost a month already.)

*if you live in Brooklyn, or close enough, and need a photographer, go to stephanie’s instagram and send her a message!

**i’m trying out the whole not worrying about capitalizing thing. i’m not sure how i feel about it yet. my grammarly sure hates it though.



I’ve officially been on this earth for 3 decades.


It’s just crazy to me because, in my mind, I’m still this kid.

Or this one

Most especially this little weirdo

Man, that was quick.

In some ways, I still am that kid. I’m not here today to get all intro/retrospective about turning 30. I’ve learned things. I’ve had good and bad times. That’s what your 20s are for. There are two things short conversations I’ve had recently that I wanted to include in my birthday post because I feel like they sum up what I’m feeling perfectly.

The first one was with an Uber driver. Somehow my birthday came up and he asked me how old I was going to be (I didn’t even care. I guess I’m not a lady.) I told him thirty and he said “Ahh, thirty. It’s like entering a whole new world. You care less about certain things and life begins to fall into place in other ways. It’s a good age.” I smiled to myself and said, “You know, that’s exactly how it feels. It feels like I’m entering a different world.”

It’s true. I feel like I’m opening a door of new possibilities, attitudes, and experiences. I know they won’t happen or come overnight. I’m sure I didn’t wake up this morning a changed woman, but I feel like this is the beginning of something different.

On the other hand, let’s revisit this at 32 and see how I feel.

The other conversation happened about a week later and it was with my aunt’s best friend. They have known each other since college. They’ve been through almost every phase of life together. They have many lifetimes of friendship between them. Anyway, we were talking and again, somehow, my birthday came up. I told her about the Uber driver and the whole new world carpet ride I went on and I said, “I’m a little nervous because it was beginning to feel like I would never not be in my 20s.” She laughed a little bit and turned to my aunt and said: “Yea, we all felt like we would never not be in our 20s.” Then they started talking about how long they had each been married (48 & 50 years!) and just how fast (yet unbelievably slow) life moves.

Remember in elementary school you had journals? The teacher would put a prompt on the board and you would have to write or draw (or both) a response to that prompt. In first grade, we had journals and one of the prompts was “Where will you be when you’re 30?” Maybe it was my teacher’s birthday and she needed a laugh only the innocence of a child could give. Maybe it had to do with what we were learning. Whatever.

My answer to “Where will you be when you’re 30?” was… and you’ll just have to believe me because try as I might I cannot find this journal for the life of me. If I do, you know I will post it immediately.

When I’m 30, I’ll be in my limo in my wheelchair with my husband.

(or maybe I said with my other friends. I’m old now, my memory is escaping me.)

I thought thirty meant #nursinghomestatus. Turning thirty was unfathomable to six year old me. PEOPLE LIVE THAT LONG? THEY MUST BE ANCIENT. No matter that my parents were both 42 at the time. I also thought thirty meant rich. Or maybe that having a husband meant having money. I’m starting to think that I thought that I would be six forever and having a husband just meant living with an adult who isn’t related to me. i sense a theme here. 

Well, here I am. thirty years old- no husband, no limo, and (thankfully) no wheelchair.

Here’s to thirty and the decade that comes with it. May it be filled with laughter, love, good health, and to never stop being a Native American cheerleader.

california dreamin’

I have to be up in about 5 hours but I’m not tired, so here I am. By the time you’re reading this I will be about an hour into a cross-country flight to San Francisco!

Guys, I’ve waited what feels like most of my (almost) 30 years to go to California. So, of course, my throat and sinuses decide NOW IS THE TIME to revolt and do things that they don’t usually do. Like, hurt and tickle for the past 10 days or so. The up-side is, I now have a sexy voice to use on all of the Californian boys (except it will probably be like that episode of SATC where Miranda meets up with her friend who moved from NY to LA and now instead of the anxious neurotic he used to be, he’s now laid back and chill. I can’t deal with that. I need someone fueled on coffee and sarcasm, not fresh air and avocados.).

We have some fun stuff planned and quite frankly, I can’t wait to sit and tell you all about it. My camera is all charged and it almost feels like it’s ready to do some work. These photo dumps are going to be large, my friends. GET READY.

I’ll be home in 4 days, so I’ll probably see you here in about 6 months.


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