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Let’s chat: The Erin Andrews verdict

It’s International Women’s Day so this post couldn’t come at a better time. I’m sure by now you’ve heard about the Erin Andrews case/verdict.If you haven’t, the abridged version is that Erin Andrews, of sportscasting and Dancing with the Stars fame, was filmed, naked, in her hotel room by a man who was stalking her about 6 years ago. Yesterday, a jury granted her 55 million dollars for pain, suffering and a host of other things.

In it’s infinite wisdom, Twitter had much to say on this matter, I’m sure, but I only saw one thing and it was enough.

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First of all Cobi, SHUT UP. Second, what angered me about this tweet was that it came across my timeline because someone had re-tweeted it. That someone is a woman on an MTV show known for showcasing irresponsible teens turned mother of the year (No, it wasn’t Farrah.) I’m sure Erin (like we’re besties) would gladly give up every single cent of that money if it meant that this whole ordeal didn’t happen.

I watched a little of the news coverage on this case. I saw Erin sit on the stand and weep, trying to tell the judge and jury what happened and how she felt about it. When she was cross examined, the prosecutor implied that her star started to rise after this video was released. Almost accusatory. Yes, because women can only get ahead by planning elaborate schemes to be filmed naked and have that video leaked to the internet, where things NEVER DIE.

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Listen, I know that questions like that is par for the course in cases such as this. But, and yeah, I’m going to go there, show me one time a question like that was aimed at a man. In fairness, I didn’t do my homework before writing this so there might be, but I highly doubt it. I also read that the lawyer for the hotel said that their argument was not that she became famous because of the video, but that she didn’t suffer any serious mental injury because of it. While that may be true, I’m calling bullshit. In her testimony, she said she now obsessively checks her hotel rooms, peepholes, everything to make sure she’s not being filmed. This guy may not have caused “serious mental injury”, but that’s one hell of a mindfuck.

One summer, I was on the beach in New Jersey. It was later in the season so the flies were starting to make an appearance. It was torture. For the next few days, even though I knew there wasn’t a fly in my vicinity, I felt them all over my back and legs. I could only imagine what it feels like to think you’re being watched. And let’s not forget, most of the time, she’s in a hotel for a work assignment. It’s not like she can say to her network, “Sorry guys. I’m not going to be able to make it to the Superbowl this year. Could you send someone else?”

Another part of the case that I found interesting was that Erin’s stalker found out what room she was in (*raises eyebrow*) and asked to be put in the room next to her. Granted, her name was not as well known as it is today, but no one knew that she’s on TV? She’s a female sportscaster. I know she’s not the only one but she was definitely one of the first (that I’ve heard of, at least.) And, frankly, she’s damn good at her job.

International Women’s Day is supposed to be a day where women uplift, empower and support other women. So, for today, let’s think about what we’re tweeting or re-tweeting. Let’s think about how we talk to and about each other. Matter of fact, it’s March, which means that it’s Women’s History Month. Let’s just celebrate us the whole month!

i love your shoes and your makeup looks really pretty!

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just a little compliment, from me to you!

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#ALLlivesmatter

This is a hard post for me to write because I had no intentions to, quite frankly.

By now you might have seen the news about the trouble in Ferguson and, more recently, New York. Like I mentioned before, I had no intentions on saying anything about either. I’m not an avid news watcher and this is a blinding, white hot button issue that may cause a heated debate that I don’t feel I can hold my own in. So, instead of possibly causing a stir, I decided to stay quiet. Not only on here, but on Facebook and Instagram as well. But I don’t feel like I could stay quiet any longer.

I was raised in a family where I was taught to be nice to everyone, regardless of anything, really. Skin color, hair color, weight, age, intellect didn’t matter; everyone should be treated the same. I’ve carried that with me my whole life and have lived it every day. I’ve come across people, as I’m sure we all have, who don’t subscribe to my way of thinking. I can’t say I respect or agree with their opinions because I don’t understand why they feel this way. It’s easier to respect an opinion when you can see where it’s coming from.

The events of Ferguson and New York were tragic and should not have ended the way they did. I believe that in both cases the police were doing their jobs and things got out of hand. Do I believe that these incidents were race related? No. In both cases, there was a reason for the cops to approach the suspects. One had just robbed a convenience store and assaulted the owner. And the other was selling loose cigarettes on the street. I feel that no matter what your race is, if you’re doing something wrong and get caught, expect to be arrested. It’s a simple cause and effect equation.

As I said in the beginning, I don’t keep up with the news on a daily basis, so some of my knowledge of the Ferguson case is spotty. I have, however kept up a little bit more with the Eric Garner case and I feel like this needs to be said. Eric Garner was resisting arrest. He was upwards of 300 pounds. He had health problems. According to what I’ve heard, he had a heart attack and died at the hospital an hour after the incident occurred. I’m not saying that his heart wasn’t strained from the altercation, but really, the same thing could have happened while he climbed the stairs at home, or in his sleep. Or if a black cop was trying to get him on the ground to arrest him. If he was having an asthma attack, as it was alleged in the beginning, and the cop was able to administer his inhaler to him (or let him do it before they cuffed him), the cop would be a hero. Or more likely, no one would even know about it because it wouldn’t be an issue.

When you feel like you or someone you love has been wronged I’m sure you’d want to do anything in your power to make it right. It’s human nature. Here’s the thing: no amount of wrong can be made right by rioting and killing.

As a New Yorker, it hurts me to see what is going on in my city, the city that I love. Yesterday, two officers of the NYPD were shot, execution style, in their squad car. What were they doing? Eating lunch. They were shot by someone who believed what he was doing was right; justified, even. Then he took to Twitter and bragged all about “giving pigs wings”. It makes me sick. It makes me sick that there are people in this world, lots of people, who agree with and support him. One of the officers had a 13 year old son. Now that boy has to live the rest of his life without a dad. His wife, without a husband. His mom, without a son. The other officer was a newlywed of about 3 months. His wife has to live with the “what -ifs” and, more importantly, the “could have beens”.

Speaking of support, it makes me even sicker that our mayor has shown ZERO support to any of our men in blue. He is a disgrace to the city. I can’t figure out if he doesn’t realize that he’s acting like a complete asshole, or if he just doesn’t care.

The whole outcry of black lives matter is really starting to get on my nerves. OF COURSE BLACK LIVES MATTER.

ALL LIVES MATTER.

Black, White, Indian, Asian, doctors, lawyers, cops, firemen, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

In the spirit of the Christmas season, and to honor all of the brave men and women who swore the oath to protect and serve, give them a quick smile, wave or thank you whenever possible. Wish them a happy holiday or keep them in your prayers. I know I will.

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