single gal speaks: facebook stalking

We’ve all done it. We can deny it, try to stop it, or just learn to embrace that it is part of every day life now. I even found myself doing it yesterday afternoon. What am I talking about?

FACEBOOK STALKING

Specifically, an old flame’s new match. 

Ugh. I know, right? Since I found myself doing this recently, I figured I’d make a list of what was going through my head as I was doing it so we can all commiserate together in the comments.

for reference: my urge to snoop around stemmed from a text from a friend who mentioned the new match. ok, let’s go.

  • hmm.. i can’t remember what the new girl looks like..
  • open Facebook app
  • what was her name again?
  • ugh. i can’t find her. how does she spell it?
  • she has to be different, doesn’t she?
  • maybe this is a sign to just turn back and not open pandora’s box
  • ha! yea, right

tomhanksygm

  • ok, who’s friend list could i find her on?
  • this would be so much easier if HE had a facebook
  • this may take all night. i mean, i’ve got nothing else to do.
  • ten minutes later…
  • BINGO!
  • what is her profile picture of? click
  • oh. they took engagement photos. how nice.
  • i don’t even have feelings for him anymore. why is this bothering me?
  • oh God. they’re in a meadow
  • LAAAAAAMMMEEEEE
  • are there any more?
  • she’s got her profile locked up tighter than fort knox.

drevil

  • why does she look so young? am i really that old?
  • he looks good.
  • ugh. please. don’t go there.
  • but he really does.
  • STOP.IT.
  • maybe he doesn’t look that good.
  • yes he does.
  • ENOUGH. look at something else.
  • she’s really taking advantage of those privacy settings, huh?
  • well, i guess we’re done here. until next time, lovebirds.
  • close facebook app
  • gag

Am I close? Those privacy settings are a killer, no?

Let’s discuss!

signature