2017, are you listening?

It’s Friday, so here are five things.

What better time than just past the middle of February to make a list of things I’d like to see in 2017? These aren’t resolutions, so it’s fine. Right?

2017 – I’m going to need a few things. You listening?

A new “We Didn’t Start the Fire” – I  was watching Billy Joel’s WDSTF video and thinking back to when I heard it live at Madison Square Garden. It’s one of my favorites from Bill. With all that’s going on these days and all that’s gone on since the original came out, I think it’s time for BJ to update and re-record this classic.

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A streaming service dedicated to 90’s television- ONLY 90’s television. And movies, maybe. I live in a state of nostalgia and love when I catch a good Designing Women marathon. I would readily pay my $8.99 a month to have every 90’s gem at my fingertips. No matter how obscure. the encyclopedia of 90’s sitcoms i have in my head is ridiculous. try me. I recently found out that the Hallmark Channel plays “The Father Dowling Mysteries” on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Praise be. I need a little more of that on my life. I’d even pay a little more if they threw in some commercials to the mix. WHO CAN I TALK TO ABOUT GETTING THIS OFF THE GROUND? Kickstarter?

A spinoff of The Gilmore Girls featuring only Paris Geller- Come on. We all know she was the best part of that revival (minus Jess, of course) and quite possibly the entire series. Liza Weil is being wasted on How to Get Away with Murder as Bonnie. I keep hoping she’ll snap and transform into Paris. Then I feel bad for typecasting and I power through. From what we saw in the revival, Paris has more than enough going on to make a series out of. She’s divorced, so she could navigate the dating scene or try to get back with Doyle. Will she ever be able to keep a nanny? How is she as a mom? Will she ever use the upstairs of her home? Maybe she’ll just move out of the house, hilarity and snarkiness ensues. The possibilities are endless! The spinoff would also need a little bit of Emily, the Queen of Hartford. And maybe Rory, but only if she brings Jess. Otherwise, no thanks.

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Get rid of shipping fees- I may have mentioned this here before but it bears repeating. I HATE shipping fees. And return fees. And taxes. Anyway, I just got an order in that I paid $15.99 in shipping fees for. Turns out that some items have to go back and they want to take $7.50 off my return as a return fee.

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Yea so, I would like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I never asked to be a part of. Why am I paying for you to take back things that I’ve tried on once? Isn’t it bad enough that the item doesn’t fit or just doesn’t look right?

a better way to online date – listen, online dating is what it is. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. I re-signed up for Bumble a few weeks ago and was immediately reminded of why I stopped using it in the first place. Bumble is known for having the cream of the crop men. They’re smart, good looking and have good jobs. Great. Perfect. So you swipe, swipe, swipe hoping for a BOOM. And if you’re me, the BOOM never comes. Sometimes I’ll swipe left (to reject) on someone who seems great but I know will also swipe left when my profile pops up. Why? Well, partly because my profile wasn’t filled out until recently and two, and I don’t know how to say this without word vomiting it out – most men don’t give me my body type a second look. there, i said it. And that’s cool; to each their own. I mean, I too base my swipes on the picture more than the profile sometimes (it’s natural) so maybe I should just take a seat. I just feel like there’s got to be a better way. Out of the maybe 5 BOOMs I made, two wrote back. Of those two, one just wrote back to tell me how much he hated the app. um. ok. I tried to steer the conversation in another direction – ANY other direction- and he wouldn’t bite so I gave up. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m just lonely. Maybe I’m too single. I don’t know. Short of having a dating website/app that prohibits pictures, there’s got to be a better way. Unless that way is putting on pants and leaving the house. hard NO. (i kid, i kid) Sidenote: for my fellow Bumblers – have you found “celebrities” on there? I saw the founder of Tumblr and Vinny from Jersey Shore (totes swiped right on him, tbh. no BOOM though.)

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Woo.. that went on longer than expected.

Got it, 2017? Let’s make this happen.

What would you like to see in 2017? Let’s discuss!

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