resolutions

getting on the right track

I use this blog for a lot of things. To share my photos, tell some stories, make people laugh (hopefully!), bitch and moan- you get the idea. I don’t usually make resolutions for the new year because I’d be lying if they get past my lips before I break them or try to bend them. However, I have a lot of events coming up in the next few months that I need to pull myself together for. Weddings, baptisms, showers, that kind of stuff. So I’m going to add another thing to the list of things that I use this blog for and that is:

TO KEEP ME ACCOUNTABLE

Not that I’ll 100% remember to post any kind of updates or anything but, hey it sounds good, right?

Seriously though, my plan is really to just to stop eating be aware of what/ how much I’m eating. I’m also going to try to be more physically active. Even if that means taking the steps instead of the elevator at the mall. In all (brutal) honesty, I don’t think I’m ready for a gym right now. I don’t know how to use the machines (lame excuse, I know) and even though in certain situations I don’t really care how I look/ come across but the gym is not one of those situations. It gives me slight anxiety to even think about walking into the gym, hopping on a (insert gym equipment/machine here), and do my thaaang with all of the other gym-goers around. I get especially nervous around guys in those gray sweatpants, but that’s for a different time.

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My last excuse reason that the gym isn’t for me right now is that, frankly, I can’t afford it. Unless I use the gym at work and that’s just not going to happen. I’ve tried it before but I was so bored that I walked on the treadmill for as long as it took me to burn 100 calories and then I left. Of course, since I burned those hundred calories, I thought I was some sort of hero; just like when I took a ZUMBA class.. that ONE time.

So what’s my plan? Well, contrary to popular belief, I enjoy fruits and vegetables. I’m going to incorporate them into my diet more. As a matter of fact, I was craving a salad the other day (#hero), which I squashed by getting sushi. small steps. As for everything else – MODERATION. There’s no reason to either deprive yourself of things you love just like there’s no reason to over do it. I mean, I could live on bread and cheese if that were an option.

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I’m what I like to call a grazer. I like to eat real meals, but in-between I like to know that I could snack or graze. A handful of popcorn here, a small bowl of cereal there. It would be fine if I also randomly liked to do 20 jumping jacks to work it off, but I don’t so it all adds up. I also really like yogurt as a snack. When I was younger I used to eat it with Rice Krispies for an after school snack. But that was a looong time ago before yogurt became trendy. Does anyone remember when yogurt wasn’t Greek? Or probiotic? Or when the fruit on the bottom kind was a big deal? Anyway, Chobani has come out with 100 calorie yogurt in all sorts of flavors. Yep. Only 100 calories, just like my trip on the treadmill. Great for them, embarrassing for me. I’m a big fan of the Chobani Flips. I like a little crunch to my yogurt because it makes it feel like more of a treat than a “this is not a cookie” kind of thing. However, the Flips aren’t 100 calories. Enter the Chobani Simply 100 Crunch. perfecto! You can check out all of the flavors here and there’s a coupon so now you have no excuse not to check it out!

As I said above, I have to also start moving more. Since going to a proper gym is basically out of the question, I have to figure ways to get myself going. I want to invest in something like a Fitbit so that I can track my daily movement or lack thereof. Because fitness is not my forte, it is sometimes hard for me to think of fun ways to burn calories. And by fun, I mean things that won’t make me feel like I’m ready to die. Luckily, Chobani has provided me with some ideas that I would love to share with you, just in case we’re in the same boat.

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I honestly didn’t know there were so many ways of burning 100 calories. I slaved away on a treadmill, bored out of my mind when I could have been walking around Target? If I could just stay away from Starbucks, I could get rid of at least 500 calories, because who spends only 38 minutes walking around Target? And really, is there a better way to clean than dancing around while doing it? 20 minutes of dancing and dusting and you’re saying #byefelicia to another 100 calories and a hayy girl to a clean house so, bonus! Giving Richard Simmons a run for his money, no?

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What are some ways you got/ keep yourself on track? I need all the suggestions I could get!

Let’s discuss!

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new year, same goals

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Can you believe we’re 4 days deep into 2016 already? I  can’t, but only because the holidays really threw me off this year. I’ve thought every day for the past 4ish days has been Sunday. Maybe it’s me.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to find a way to write my new year’s resolutions/goals without whining about everything in the world. I haven’t figured out a way yet, but I did happen to come across a post from a long forgotten blog of mine. It’s from 2012 but (sadly) it’s still kind of relevant. laaaaaameeee. And, I’m still all about taking the easy way out so pre-written posts for the win.

NEW YEAR, OLD GOALS.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I figured I should post this before wishing everyone a happy new year makes me look like the drunk cousin at the family barbecues (you know the one). I have mixed feelings about the new year. It makes me sad because the holiday season is over. There’s no more magic in the air. The world has a certain blah-ness to it. On the other hand, there’s a feeling of hope and new-ness to it that makes the changing of the calendar so much more significant. Pretty soon though the hope will fade, the new-ness will wear off and we’ll look at the calendar and think “It’s January ___th already?! This year is FLYING”. Before all of that happens, I want to publicly (to the 5 people who read this) announce my “goals” for the new year. I hesitate to use the word goals because goals are meant to be met after a while and I sometimes, OK usually, forget to finish what I start.

  • I NEED A JOB. This week marks the [11]th anniversary of me being at my high school job. I was able to get out of high school, but not out of this place. I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d be there this long. I won’t go into how I feel about the place just in case someone from there finds this. However, I will say that working there has been the most exhausting, tumultuous, educational ride I’ve ever been on. One that will definitely leave my head spinning for a while after I finally get off. It’s been a good run but I’m ready to explore the rest of the amusement park. There are many rides I want to try and games I want to play.
  • I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. So cliche – I know. It’s just gotten to a point where I can’t stand it anymore. I look in the mirror and the person who looks back at me does not match the picture in my head. There’s not much more to say. Wish me luck.
  • I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE. Ok, so that was a little dramatic. Let’s face it though, there’s no way to say “I want a boyfriend” without sounding needy, desperate or childish. I’m [28] years old; enough is enough. My 6 year old self is getting worried that when I’m 30 I’ll be the only single person in the nursing home (side note: I found a school journal from when I was in 1st grade and one of the entries said something about when I’m 30, I’ll be so old that I’ll need a wheelchair. When I read that, I laughed so hard I almost needed some Depends – ahead of schedule.) My 8 year old self is pretty disappointed that my last name isn’t DiCaprio yet. I think she’s more disappointed that it never will be. I’m not looking to get married or anything but it would be nice to know that someone might want to marry me someday. (Does that make sense? Moving on.)
  • I WANT TO FIND MY PASSION. Right now, I feel like I have so many pots on the stove and none of them are getting heated up. I started this blog to try to light the fire. I like to write, I just get sidetracked. I usually either forget to post something, or I don’t know what to write, or I’ll start a post and then I won’t like how it’s coming together so I shut the window and watch videos onYoutube instead. I’m too hard on myself and I need to change that. Sometimes I’ll write a post that I feel isn’t good at all but after I post it go back to read it a few weeks later and I surprise myself. This will probably be one of those posts. This is the second time I’m writing it because I stupidly didn’t save it the first time and tried to insert a picture and lost the whole thing. For the record, I loved the first one. It was one of the best things I’ve written, in my opinion. It’s the same thing with my photography. For my thesis project in college I made a photo book of pictures that I took of my family’s house on the beach and all of the surrounding areas. When I handed it in my professor glanced at it and asked me if I took all of the pictures myself. I told him that I had. He seemed impressed. I was too embarrassed to stick around any longer so I wished him a happy summer and I got out of there. I checked my grades everyday expecting the worst. (The “worst” being a B; I think that’s the lowest I could handle. I worked HARD on that project. No matter what anyone says.) It turned out that I got an A. Not to toot my own horn, but whenever I show my copy of the book to anyone I get such positve feedback on my photos. (toot, toot!) It’s humbling, really. [2016 edit: i think, through this blog, i’ve finally found my passion. even if it never makes me a dime or even if my site stats stay abysmally low, i like coming here to write, to comment and to read everyone else’s posts. i mean, yea, i don’t post everyday and i say lot of the same things and post alot of the same kinds of posts but that’s something i could work on in 2016. i want to get myself on a schedule and start writing everything down.  things that piss me off, make me happy, make me laugh, links, random ideas. everything. just so that i don’t forget so that when i’m “out of ideas” i could look back and maybe formulate a post. that was longer than expected. back to it.]
  • I WANT TO RECONNECT. I feel like I’ve lost touch with so many people that I used to be so close to. I’m horrible with the phone and I acknowledge that, but here’s the funny thing about the phone – it works both ways. MIND BLOWING. I know. I’m willing to work on using the phone if you’re willing to work with me. I’m a plan maker. If I make plans with you, I’m sticking to them and expect you to do the same. Don’t stand me up. Don’t call me last minute to cancel. Don’t pretend to forget we had plans (or even worse, don’t actually forget we had plans). Don’t cut the night short. I thrive on the past (which is a problem in it’s own) and love to reminisce about things. Deal with it for a few hours.

Other things I want for 2012 (and beyond):

  • to be a happier person
  • to be a more positive person
  • to stop sweating the small stuff
  • to be healthy
  • for my family, friends and loved ones to be happy, healthy and safe
  • to stop worrying and being so nervous
  • to remember to save my work
  • for the 1st post to magically appear (wishful thinking)
  • a new Backstreet Boys album (you think I’m joking?)
  • [2016 edit] to travel. I’ve gotten bit by the travel bug – BAD. It’s gotten to a point now that when I see vacation photos on Facebook, I get violently jealous, meaning i suck my teeth and roll my eyes harder than usual then sulk for a few minutes.
  • [2016 edit] to really focus on this blog – i know i said it above but i really want to focus on writing about things people want to read. i want quality. and, if we’re being honest, i want my site stats to go up. don’t we all? not necessarily viral (although…), but maybe consistent 3 digit numbers? 4 digits are too much to comprehend right now.
  • [2016 edit] to WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN.

Here’s to 2016! New year, new me and all that jazz.

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What are your resolutions?

Let’s discuss!

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Putting myself out there

So it’s been almost a month. I know, I’m sorry. I wish I had a good excuse but I don’t. I just wasn’t feeling it. I wasn’t inspired. I can’t promise that things will change from here on out but I can try. And that’s what counts.

In an effort to make myself believe that when I am doing what I love it shows in the results I sat down at my computer and chose some photos to donate to the silent auction being held at work. In case you’re wondering, we hold a silent auction every year to raise money to benefit the school’s student book scholarship. Anyway, I wanted to donate something other than my used chotchkes. I decided on five of my favorites and ordered them in a 5×7 size. When they came, I went to Amazing Savings, a.k.a my happy place, and found beautifully simple black frames with a black and white mat. From the five pictures, I chose three and framed them. I have to admit, they look really good.

I brought them into work today and prepared myself to show my boss. I’ve made the mistake of dwelling on my job and how unhappy I am there in other blogs that I’ve started and forgot about so I won’t get into it but, for the new comers out there, I am unhappy at my job. I am working to remedy that situation. My boss is a hard, hard nut to crack. I was nervous because although I have been told that I have a talent in photography and that I should show my work more, I find it hard to wrap my head around that. My thoughts always end up somewhere in the realm of “I may be good but someone else is better”.

I pulled out the first one and I’m not lying when I say her eyes lit up. She ooo’ed and ahhh’d over the three of them and tried to figure out where she would hang them in her office if she happened to have the winning bid. I told her that if they turn out to be such a huge hit and incite a bidding war that she happens to lose, I would make her a copy of the picture that she fell in love with. She looked touched which felt pretty good. I asked her what she would value them at so that I could enter it into our database. She said she would value them at $50 each and start the bidding at $25. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was expecting her to value them at $25 and start the bidding at $15. Not because I’m not worth $50 but because it cost me next to nothing to make this donation. Honestly, each picture came to less than $10 – framed.

I left her office floating on a cloud. It took alot for me to put myself and my work out there. The same way it takes alot for me to put these blogs out there. In my head I’m never funny enough or sound smart enough or bring up any good points. My pictures aren’t lit well enough, they aren’t composed the right way, there’s something in the frame that I don’t know how to edit out. I have to figure out a way to crawl out of my own head for a few minutes and realize that I AM talented and people DO appreciate my work. Like I could tell you right now what’s going through my head is ughhh this is boring. stop using commas. maybe i won’t post this. if i don’t post it then what/when will i post? 

SO FRUSTRATING.

So yea, basically I just wanted to get on here and share my triumph of putting myself out there. GO ME!

I didn’t make any concrete resolutions this year but putting myself out there would be on the list.  Since it’s still January and I need a way to wrap up, my other goals of the year would be:

  1. To write more
  2. To photograph more
  3. To stop being so hard on myself (This is a BIG one. And it’s important because I’m annoying myself with all of my negativity.)

Sorry if you found this post a little dull (there I go again).  Please come back for more. They’ll get better – I’ll make sure of it!

In case you were wondering, these are the photos that I decided to donate. Enjoy!

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