quick post

11 questions

Happy Labor Day, my friends! Speaking of labor, I have gotten through my first week of work and my new job unscathed, just in time for a nice Monday off. pro tip: start a new job as close to a holiday as possible, it really helps ease you in to the position.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a survey but, thanks to Mallory over at Mallory Can’t Even, I have one for you today! So everyone click over to her blog and say thank you. It’s the polite thing to do.

1. In baseball, each player gets a “walk up song” that plays on his way up to the plate. What song would you pick?

Well, it definitely wouldn’t be Put Me in Coach. It would have to be something distracting so that no one notices me sneaking away from the plate.

2. What’s the best thing that happened to you last weekend?

Since today is *technically* still the weekend, I’ll talk about the weekend that has already fully passed, which was my cousin’s bachelorette weekend in Ocean City, Maryland. We drove alot, we laughed alot, and, most importantly, we laughed ALOT. It was a really good time.

3. If you could have a starring role in any film already made, which movie would you pick?

I would take Reese Witherspoon’s character in This Means War so that I could change the ending and have her choose Tom Hardy over that foot head.. I mean Chris Pine.

4. What actor/actress would you have play you in a movie of your life?

If we’re going with a very loosely based version where what I really look like doesn’t matter, then Anna Kendrick. If we’re going with a truer to life version, where what I look like plays an integral part to the story, then Chrissy Metz (from This Is Us).

5. What is your favorite quote?

I don’t have just one, but the only one I can think of at this very moment is my instagram quote which is “she who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten.” I like it because, figuratively, the glitter could be anything. A warm smile, a positive thought, what have you. Literally, I would be the one to trail glitter through your home and every time you saw a small sparkle for the next 25 years, you’d be like “this bitch.” Case in point: I’m still hearing about how I stuffed my sweet 16 invitation envelopes with confetti and how big of a mess it was. *eyeroll*

7. What was your first concert?

Backstreet Boys 2010, Hammerstein Ballroom (best night ever)

7. What Internet website do you visit the most?

I’m going to say Facebook or maybe Youtube

8. Which of Snow White’s 7 dwarfs describes you the best and why?

I think I’m a mix of the seven, it just depends on the day. Sometimes it depends on the time of day.

9. If you were on death row, what would your last meal be?

Oh God, don’t do this to me. I would need so much, they’d probably have to start my last meal a week before the execution. My mom/grandma’s eggplant, pizza from L&B, a hot fudge and caramel sundae, roast beef and cheese, corn nuggets and an orangeade from Roll N Roaster, mozzarella sticks, the chocolate chip cookies and ice cold vanilla milk from Emeril’s Delmonicos, clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl, THE LIST IS ENDLESS.

10. What is the background of your computer?

11. What is a TV show/movie/book from your childhood that you remember, but no one else does when you bring it up in conversation?

Literally almost everything from my childhood. I was a peculiar child, I guess. Anything from the Disney channel so, The Torkelsons and it’s spin off Almost Home, Flash Forward, Ready or Not, Even Stevens. Some of the shows from Nickelodeon like Wild and Crazy Kids or What Would You Do. As far as movies, Shelley Duvall’s Faerie Tale Theater (please, PLEASE tell me someone else watched these), Canon Tales fairy tales – Snow White and Sleeping Beauty in particular. The (animated) Flintstone movies where Pebbles and Bam Bam get married and have children, The Worst Witch movie. I’m telling you, I was a little off kilter.

And there you have it. Have a great, relaxing day off!

flat cat

When I started my “new” job, I had a strong feeling that since this position interacts with the public at large much more than my other job, it would lend itself for all sorts of blog anecdotes and stories. In fact when I first started, my boss’ brother, who comes in often and is also a vet, told me that I would have encounters with a lot of crazies and if I had the talent or knew someone who has the talent, I should put together a book of the craziest of the crazy. not in so many words but, you get the idea.

I’ve had a few people grace the front of the reception desk that were definitely blog worthy but this one takes the cake. This story isn’t even mine; it’s about a quarter mine and three-quarters my supervisor’s, but who’s blog is this?

giphy-1

A man came in with his cat to be seen my the doctor on Saturday and after I checked him in, I had to tell my supervisor that in addition to whatever he told me what was wrong with the cat, it also needed something else. Medication, maybe? I can’t remember. This conversation followed: *keep in mind, my supervisor is an excitable Haitian man with a heavy accent*

Me: Hey, F – Mr. whatever his name is also needs ______ whatever, i forgot.

F: Yea? OK. You know, that guy is crazy. Were you here last week when he came in? No, you weren’t. He came in last week with a cat that was *flattening hand motions*

Me: Flat?

F: Yea, the cat was dead. It got hit by a car so the head was all smashed and everything.

Me: giphy-2

F: Yea. He came in and wanted us to bathe the cat because one of his cats had gotten out and he was convinced that this was his cat.

Me:Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt gross ew titus andromedon tituss burgess

F: I told him we would wash it if he wanted us to, but for sure the cat he was holding was not his cat. He asked me how I know it’s not his so I told him because the cat you’re holding is white and your cat is brown. Do you know what he said to me? He said, Yea, I was wondering if when they die, if their fur changes color.

Me:

Me: Did you wash the cat?

F: No.The cat was dead! Cremate it! Who picks up a dead cat to check to see if it’s theirs? Does their fur change color? He’s crazy, I told you. He said his wife was on his case and that she had a strong feeling it was their cat. It wasn’t their cat! Their cat is brown!

So, now I’m back at the desk and my supervisor comes out and says Hey, Mr. whatever his name is! Did you find your cat?

WELL. I almost lost it.

It turns out, that night the man was in bed, watching TV and he has cameras all around his house so he happened to glance at one of the monitors and saw a cat on the screen that looked like his. He was happy his cat had made it home but he felt bad for the owner of the cat he had found.

Alls well that ends well, I guess.

signature - script

Quick little post

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My director asked me to add a picture to a  brochure that is going to be given out to all of the new hires at orientation. Side note – for an institution that is in debt up to its eyeballs, why are we hiring new people? And why aren’t I one of them?
Anyway, I Googled a phrase to see if there were any related pictures and I came across this.  It made me laugh because sometimes I think I’m going to sign on to wordpress and a set of big puppy dog eyes is going to pop up on the screen with a message like “you came back for me!”
This is my second post in as many days. I’m on a roll.

While I have your attention, has everyone seen the Jimmy Fallon skit with Zac Efron and Seth Rogan yet?

How is Zac Efron so ridiculously good looking?

Hey Zac, you know what’s EW! ? Clothing. You really shouldn’t wear anything. Men’s clothes, women’s clothes, none of it is necessary on you.

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