one direction

Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney’s lovechild

“You know, Martina hasn’t talked about Harry Styles in a while. I hope she’s OK” – you, probably (definitely not)

I’m fine. Harry’s fine. We’re all fine. The kids are good. School’s almost out and we’re all looking forward to the summer… Did I just lapse into fan fiction? Oh well. Don’t judge.

Anyway, Harry is gearing up for the release of his debut solo album and he’s making the rounds. Yesterday, he was on Good Morning America giving us a sample of what’s coming. Let me tell you – I am here for it.

HERE . FOR . IT.

I’ve missed that manly rasp of his. come to mama.

Harry performed in front of 6 city blocks filled with fans. One fan, however, was noticeably absent and the pain was felt all the way to Brooklyn, where that fan was trying to make herself feel better by searching the #harrystyles tag on Instagram to get up to the minute updates on what was going on in Rockefeller Plaza. It was me, in case you had any doubts.

Since I wasn’t able to make it to the (I guess you can call it) concert, I was left to catch up on YouTube. I work at a shared desk with one computer (please. don’t.) so I had to figure out how to be the one in control of the music. Luckily, my boss appeared with some stuff that needed to go on to a spreadsheet and viola! I’m in.

I haven’t talked about Wild Style(s)  in a while so excuse me while I gush. The pink suit – loved it. v. Mick Jagger. He was always the flashiest dresser of the group so I didn’t expect anything less. The hair – perfect. It finally grew out enough for him to look like a grown up 2013 Harry. Or a little like Louis, but whatever. The songs – so exciting. He sang Sign of the Times (above), Ever Since New York, Carolina and One Direction (album only) hit Stockholm Syndrome. He also adorably laughed/smiled everytime a fan did or said something to make him notice them. Like, scream I love you. i was so jealous.

Stockholm Syndrome isn’t my favorite, but he wrote it so he might as well sing it, right? Anyway, between the pink suit the fandemonium, and the signing songs he wrote because the fans like them and not because they belong to a band, he reminds me of the love child of Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney.

Mark my words, kids – Harry Styles is going to be around for a loooooong time.

Hurry up, Friday. I can’t wait to get my hot little hands on this album.

On a related note – I just got a flashback of buying stacks of CDs at The Wiz. Nobody beats The Wiz!

Oh, lastly – does anyone have Apple TV or whatever they’re calling it these days? Let me know so I can come over and use it because right after the album is released there is going to be a behind the scenes/making of the album movie which shows Harry recording at Abbey Road, Harry writing songs for the album and Harry in his underwear. Help a sister out!

 

1DWD, if you will.

It’s been a minute since I’ve gushed about my favorite foursome, aka One Direction. It’s been a big week for at least two of them and being the good fan that I am, I’m here to celebrate their successes.

Harry, my love, has done his first solo magazine interview for AnOther Man magazine. He has cut his luxurious (yet, kind of greasy looking) locks and has taken us through the process. What resulted from that is a very Mick Jagger inspired photo shoot. His interview was conducted by Sir Paul McCartney and Chelsea Handler, which I would have loved to sit in on, it must have been a good time. He was asked if he saw the band getting back together, to which he gave a heartbreaking answer of “if it comes naturally and we all want to do it, we’ll do it”. ugh. I lived through the late 90’s/early 2000’s, I know what a boy band break up looks like. He also was asked if he was ready for kids and marriage and he said something like “only if Martina will have me”, so I guess the answer is yes. Harry, if you’re reading this – HEY, BOO. Or maybe he said that he likes working right now and he wants to take advantage of that while he still can. Whatever.

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ugh. beautiful.

Niall has released a new single and boy, is it pretty. Take a listen.

 

Don’t mind me – I’m just going through some 1D withdrawals.1DWDs, if you will. Is there a detox for this? HELP.signature - script

a “History” lesson

Another day, another 1D post.

March is rapidly approaching – let me live.

The Fab Five Four released the video for “History” yesterday so, of course, here I am to discuss it in detail. Take a peek and then come back for some dissecting.

First, why didn’t they just put a big X on Zayn’s face? Listen, I know he’s part of their history (ba dum dum), but it’s like they ignored him when he was standing right there. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves when someone is talking about me right in front of me. Like, “she has to go to the post office. are you going to take a ride with her?” “only if she wants me to. maybe I will and then she’ll come to the pharmacy with me.” my roommates parents do that to me all the time. It drives me insane. Anyway, I feel like that’s what they pulled on Zayn. But, out of sight, out of mind -amiright?

Second, I don’t know how I feel about this camera in front of a brick wall and the boys leaning into the camera type of deal. It just makes them look uninterested/uninteresting.

Niall’s glasses, however…

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Upon further inspection, I have decided that I really can’t stand the whole brick wall nonsense. First of all, it looks fake. Totally green screened. Nobody could find a brick wall to set a camera in front of and put the boys in between? And what’s up with the lip syncing? I know that’s how you make a music video; I was an avid watcher of Making the Video back in the day, but this shit is bananas.

And that’s about it. I liked the flashbacks of them in concert and conquering the world, but I’ve seen the This Is Us movie so… yea.

Did I get a little sad when they showed their last performance and then when they all waved goodbye and went thier separate ways from that dumb brick wall? I’ll admit I did.

This was by far their most thrown together video and it sucks because there won’t be another one until God knows when. Maybe. But that’s a bridge we’ll cross in 2017.

I wish they would have went out on a high like the Night Changes video, which ties with One Sweet Day for my all time favorites, or at least the Story of My Life video. speaking of “life”, i need one. my birthday is in july. thanks in advance.

Oh well. See you in the tabloids, boys.

What do you think?

Let’s discuss!

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call the waahhmbulence

Have you ever been in one of those moods where everything just bothers you? I know I’m not alone here so I’ll just imagine all 3 of you nodding your heads. Anyway, I’ve found myself in one of those moods lately and as much as I really don’t enjoy blatantly complaining on here (true story: i’m not 100% sure if i’m kidding with that sentence or not), Facebook has reminded me that I haven’t posted in 5 days so I figured, why not?

To make it easier on myself, I’m going to list my first world annoyances instead of just rambling on about them paragraph by paragraph. as if that’s not going to happen anyway.

  • my job is annoying the ever-loving piss out of me. i know, i know – it’s the same story all the time i hate my job but i’m trying to get a new one. new year new me, bitches! whatever. this week has been torture. i wasn’t feeling well monday night but still decided to go in on tuesday, which was a mistake. i kept looking for corners to hide away in. which maybe would have slightly worked if i worked with normal people. who don’t look for me EVERY FIVE SECONDS. listen, i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a million times – i know that i’m not alone in my hatred of my job, my annoying co-workers, etc. however, it’s my blog and i’ll whine if i want to. a quick example – one of the events we hold for our students is the spring fling. it used to be winterball but all of a sudden that changed. i don’t ask questions. so i was tasked with the tickets. start to finish. i designed them, printed them, cut them and tomorrow i’ll bag them up so they’re ready to sell. today i was in the middle of cutting them out when my director comes over to me and says “oh! i don’t want you to cut your finger!” i finished the cut with the guillotine style paper cutter that must have come over on the arc with noah. i looked up for a second and she steps next to me and says “can you help me scan this to my email?” my co-worker was LITERALLY (the dictionary literally, not the basic bitch literally) sitting RIGHT THERE. she is more than capable of helping you scan something. my director has this thing where if she asks you to do something, you have to do it completely. meaning, if she gives you something to take from her office downstairs to make a copy (don’t get me started) and your co-worker happens to be going up to her office, you cannot ask your co-worker to save you a trip and bring up the copies. it drives me nuts. in addition, my night manager is still a condescending, rude jerk. i CAN.NOT take him anymore.

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whine, whine, whine. ramble, ramble, ramble.

  • i signed on to twitter this morning and the first thing that popped up was a tweet from MTV that said a “source” confirmed that One Direction is really breaking up. i probably shouldn’t include this one because i feel like if i write about the four lads from Lo(ver there, across the pond) again my blogging card and my “adult” card will be revoked. except i think it’s pretty obvious i got my adult card from the same guy who chalked everyone’s IDs in high school. how about this, “source”- let them go on break first and then we’ll see if they come back.

if you love something, set it free…

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they officially start the hiatus in march, contrary to my previous falsely reported date of sometime this month. whatever. it just wasn’t something i wanted to see being already miserable at work.

  • why do all of my favorite shows keep getting cancelled? i know i watch entirely too much television, but i feel like everytime i turn around another one is cancelled. rizzoli and isles is done after the next season, mob wives just start its final season (i’m going to miss those women so much.), and i just found out that mike and molly was cancelled.

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  • lastly, for this post anyway, POWERBALL. what the hell, man? the lottery gods just couldn’t throw me a bone? i can’t even say “oh, we all deserve to win” because let’s be real, when it comes to lotto, it’s every man for himself. i had so many plans for that money. ugh.

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First World problems, I definitely know.

Can we quickly talk about how I missed the memo about National Sticker Day? 7 year old Martina who carefully curated every sticker in her Lisa Frank sticker book is throwing the biggest tantrum right now.

What’s annoying you lately?

Let’s discuss!

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I’m linking up with Amanda today!
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the one before the break

Ok, here’s the deal. I totally did NOT want to write about One Direction. Their hiatus has officially started, we’ll see them in 18 months (hopefully).

BUT.

They did a Carpool Karaoke sesh with James Corden and it got me feeling all sorts of things. But mostly things that make me go RAWR.

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So, we all know what Carpool Karaoke is, right? Basically, James Corden and a musical star drive around singing said star’s songs. Get it? Good.

Watch this one and then we’ll come back and discuss.

  • what good boys, putting their seatbelts on.
  • “Turn the air con on” – Harry. soulmates. nobody likes to schvitz.
  • i wonder if they’ll ask James to be the 5th member of the band after they come back from this silly little “break”.
  • they totally should.
  • “Who the hell put my seat heater on? Stop it, man. My ass is on fire” it was totally harry. man up, liam.
  • this chick follows them so much liam recognizes her? i don’t know if i’m disgusted or impressed.
  • i’m going to go with disgusted.
  • ugh. i love when they call people “love”. so british.
  • did they stop at mcdonalds?
  • THEY TOTALLY STOPPED AT MCDONALDS.
  • belt it, harry.
  • ohh Best Song Ever. yesss.
  • YAAAASSSS, harry.
  • james has officially replaced zayne #girlbye
  • niall’s got a canadian tuxedo now (only love to my northern neighbors)
  • “i’ve got double denim” – niall “you’re winning already then” – louis
  • when did No Control become so risque?
  • harry is killing it today
  • it does feel right, james
  • niall’s marrying selena gomez. well played, my little leprechaun.
  • james, you dropped the ball. what about harry and taylor? he needs to stop giving that media rehearsed answer. i thought you’d be the one to get it out of him. fine.. moving on.

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  • ok jimmy, you’ve redeemed yourself.
  • HAROLD. christ.

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So, I guess this is it for now. Have a great break, boys and we’ll see you when we see you. And seriously, consider adding James to the band. That rap was brillant.

It will get easier, right?

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i feel like i should add for the people who are new here or for the ones who don’t speak sarcasm, i’m totally kidding. sure, i’m bummed but nowhere near as dramatic as i’m pretending to be. just so we’re all clear. 

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One Direction, Adele and Miranda

Woof. It’s been a big two(ish) weeks. For no other reason except One Direction and Adele released albums a week apart from each other. If you’ve been here for a while and thought it might have been for any other reason, you obviously haven’t been paying well enough attention. Last year, when 1D released Four, I wrote a post listing some of my favorite songs. This year I’m going to do the same but also include my favorites from Adele’s album. I’m sure you don’t mind.

First, I should probably say that I love both albums and think they’re both amazing in their own rights. But like any good parent or teacher, I have my favorites.

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Just kidding. I’m sure teachers can’t play favorites. It must be in their contract or something.

OK, One Direction. This album, to me, has a very… vintage (?) feel to it. They even recorded some parts at Abbey Road. I mean, the Beatles. I like the direction (ha! pardon the pun) they went in with this album. It’s a bit slower, more grown-up. I hesitate to use mature because I feel like some Negative Nelly will have something to say. Anyway, my favorites.

We all know how much I love Perfect so that goes without saying. But there are other standouts on the album.

If I Could Fly – When I first heard this one it reminded me of when the Backstreet Boys let Nick sing all of I Need You Tonight on the Millennium album. Why? Because Harry sings the first verse and for some reason I equated that he’s the youngest of the group and so is Nick. I don’t know, it worked in my head. Weirdness aside, this song is really pretty. Like, really pretty. It’s also very versatile. At first listen you think, “wow. harry is finally opening up to me.” Then you listen again and you think “oh. maybe they just miss their mamas.” Either way, beautiful song.

Olivia – This is one of the songs recorded at Abbey Road. This one definitely has a Beatles feel to it. It also incorporates a bit of Willy Wonka so how bad could it be? On Youtube One Direction released a video series going over each song on the album. Harry said “Olivia” could be anyone or anything. IT could be a time or place that you don’t want to forget. He says it with a cheeky grin, which I learned from watching recent interviews of theirs, means there’s something he’s not telling us. I’ve also heard elsewhere that it may be about Taylor Swift’s cat, Olivia Benson. (damn it. i told myself not to mention her.)

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Walking in the Wind – Ok, I told myself numerous times not to mention Taylor, BUT if there was any song even loosely based on the Haylor relationship on this album, it’s this one. They can’t escape each other. I mean, it’s like dating a co-worker. Again, it’s a pretty song. If nothing else, this album has great choruses (hooks?).

Now Adele. She came back with a vengeance. She has said this is less of a break up album and more of a make up album. I’ll take it.

When We Were Young – I’ve included the video for this one twice already so I won’t include it again. My love for this song runs deep. Usually, I can piece together parts of a song and sort of relate to it and then move on. I just can’t quit this song. It reminds me of someone who looks like a movie and sounds like a song (well, movie – yes. song – don’t think so). Also, I AM mad I’m getting older, but that’s a different post.

Water Under The Bridge – Another great chorus (hook?). I wonder how Adele’s boyfriend (husband?) feels about her still writing songs that refer to past relationships. I know with this album it doesn’t matter since they’re all pretty much “ya lost me, loser” songs. Just a thought.

All I Ask – Bruno Mars co-wrote this song so, of course, GOLD. I could definitely hear Bruno doing this song also. Maybe for the remix? Speaking of Bruno- where you at, boo? If this one, and the two songs above got together and made a baby, that song child would be a song essentially made for me. I never get emotional at songs, or anything, really, but this song made me get so heavy on my way to work the other day I had to just turn it off. Then I felt ridiculous and blamed it on the fact that I was on my way to work and just didn’t want to be. And Aunt Flo is coming to town. I blame that bitch for everything. Mostly because she deserves it.

I’ve decided that Adele and I should be best friends. So, Adele, the next time you’re in New York let me know. We’ll do coffee. Or tea at the Plaza because, damn it, we’re classy.

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My anglophelia has gotten so out of control lately because, naturally, I can’t just watch one or two One Direction or Adele interviews, I have to watch all of them. ALL OF THEM. I’ve also become a fan of Miranda Hart. So in-between 1D and Adele interviews I’m watching Miranda (the TV show and her interviews) and Call the Midwife. I wouldn’t be so concerned except that now my thinking voice has a British accent. I’ll be walking through something in my head and the voice is definitely not mine. The crazier (i know) thing is that the voice switches from kind of posh to sort of not posh. For example, I’ve noticed Harry (and Miranda) say THink and THrough (something I don’t do), but Louis (and Adele) say Fink and Frough.

MARTINA, JUST STOP TALKING.

We all know that’s not going to happen so here are some Miranda gifs.

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Anyway, this has unraveled quite quickly so I’ll just stop this here. No, really.

Waht did you think of the new One Direction and Adele albums? Any standouts?

Let’s discuss!

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co-worker convos

91% of the time, I hate my job. Then conversations like this happen and I realize it’s not so bad.

Co-worker 1: I spoke to (the director) about it and as of now, we’re open Easter Sunday.

Co-worker 2: Oh please. That lady needs Jeee-zus. My church has Jesus, but I don’t think He’s at whatever church she goes to.

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Then, a short while later…

My co-worker and I were looking at the worst dressed from the AMAs and One Direction made the list.

Me: How could they be considered one of the worst dressed?

Co-worker: Well look at your boy there. (pointing at Harry) He messed everything up.

Me: (covering Harry) See? They aren’t so bad. They look good, actually. Like, really good.

Co-worker: Yea, well. You should have spoke to him and told him not to wear that it brings down the rest of the group!

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And that was my afternoon yesterday. Which was a follow up to trying to avoid as much Christmas decorating as I could all morning. Because IT’S NOVEMBER. I ain’t got time for Santa Clause. i didn’t mean that, Santa. you know I love you. how’s that good list looking?

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a very british friday five!

GUUUUYYYSSSS- I had so much to write about this Friday. HAD. I forgot it all. I need to start writing things down. I’m going to try to dig deep into my Swiss cheese brain and put together everything I’m loving this week.

  1. One Direction’s latest album came out a week ago. They all sound amazing but Harry and Liam slayyy on this album. There’s been rumors that this is their answer to Taylor’s 1989. And, no, I wasn’t the one who started them. Honestly, I give the people who think of/notice these things a ton of credit. Where do you find the time? Don’t get me wrong – I looove overanalyzing celebrity relationships but I think I have to draw the line at combing over each song line by line, comparing it to what Taylor wrote. I also think they put things in songs to rile the fans up. those jokesters.

1a. This tweet made me so happy. I can’t deal.

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2. Speaking of British musicians, Adele’s (much anticipated) album came out today. Target has three extra songs on their version so I guess I’m making a Target run today.

Obviously

MOVE OVER ELIZABETH, ADELE IS QUEEN.

I know I included this video in my last post but I just love it. I love her whole attitude, like I’m here to tear shit up. LET’S GO. #getitgirl

3. My mom started watching Call the Midwife on Netflix and wouldn’t stop talking about it so, always one to follow the crowd, I started it too. If you don’t know what it’s all about, it’s set in the late 50’s at a convent in London’s East End. It’s follows the story of a young midwife who is new and not used to living in/around poverty. It’s based on a true story. I’m doing a horrible job of describing it so just take my word for it. It’s a little slow if you aren’t used to PBS originals, but all of the characters are likable which is really nice. Oh, and guess who plays one of the nuns- Pam Ferris. You may know her as THE TRUNCHBULL.

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4. Lisa and I went into the city last week, Friday to be exact. We had just started to hear about what was happening in Paris. On the corner of 6th Avenue and 51st Street (? it was a block away from Radio City) I came across this statue. I took more pictures that night but I think this one is relevant and the others can wait.

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I’m not going to talk about Paris or what else is going on in the world because, quite frankly, it scares me. I know it scares everyone but I just can’t think about all of it right now. They say to not live in fear and to carry on with your life, which will make the bad guys lose. So, if you don’t mind, I’m just going to live in my bubble for right now.

5. I don’t really have a fifth item, or maybe I did but since I didn’t write anything down, I guess we’ll never know. I’m just going to insert a picture of my coworkers and I after the Thanksgiving Dinner event. If you follow me on instagram you probably saw this already. #sorrynotsorry.

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As a bonus, here’s a picture in my apron, because I’m so domestic.

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Still waiting for my pearls and a martini.

This Sunday are the AMAs – who’s watching? I can’t promise I’ll live – tweet the event but I’ll definitely be somewhere on the internet, lurking.

What’s going on with you?

Let’s discuss!

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the end?

With only a week left until their newest album comes out, One Direction released another song from the album today. They’ve said it’s one of their favorites and I could totally see why. Here’s the song with lyrics. one stop shopping over here.

At first, I assumed that this song was, again, about Harry and Taylor because God forbid I let that die. So I was pretty excited. More dirt, more unrequited love.

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Then I Googled around a bit and read that it was a song for the fans. Whaaat? No. It’s about Harry and Taylor. How could it not be? They are both obviously still hurting after ending a three month relationship three years ago. Let me listen again. Oh God.

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We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen / You and me got a whole lot of history / So don’t let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever.

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Their hiatus hasn’t even started and I miss them already.

Minibars, expensive cars, hotel rooms and new tattoos, good champagne and private planes But we don’t need anything Cause’ the truth is out, I realize that without you here like there’s just a lie This is not the end This is not the end We can make it you know it, you know

This CAN’T be the end. You guys will still grace the pages of rag magazines, right? Maybe do an interview or two? i’m mostly looking at you, harry.

What do you think of the new song? Do you think this is the end?

Let’s discuss!

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perfect is perfection!

So, One Direction released a music video for their newest single, “Perfect” yesterday. And it is… perfect. except not as perfect as “Night Changes“.

Take a look and then come back so that we could analyze it to death. Did you really think I’d have nothing to say about it?

First, can I say that I’m liking that Papa Lou is going old school with his hair these days? It reminds me of when they first started and I was convinced I’d never be interested in another boyband. yea,ok.

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Speaking of hair, Harry needs to cut his. Or at least wash it. At the very least use some dry shampoo, boo boo. I’ll take that smoulder in front of the window any day though.

Is anyone else overly jealous of that interviewer? Just me? Whatever.

Excuse me, Niall. Where did you come from? hey boy, hey.

Is there really even a question that this song is about Taylor Swift? There is? Ok let’s explore. At around 2:43, when Harry is laying on the bed, ottoman, whatever he sings:

if you like cameras flashing everytime we go out

At first I was like ok, they’re telling fans what it would be like to date them in real life. Good looking out, Harry. Then he hits us with:

if you’re looking for someone to write your break up songs about

Well, I’ll be damned.

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Say what you want, but this stuff makes me so excited. What happened? What kind of trouble did they cause in those hotel rooms? Where did they rendezvous to? What if they were soul mates? Is here any hope in reconciliation? Is that Jenner girl to blame? I NEED ANSWERS!

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WILL SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE A TELL-ALL? and not some glossed over nonsense. I need the dirty deets.

Anyway, back to the video.

Liam- that smile, those tattoos, that perfect hair. Never change lovebug, never change. Also, your tattoo face is adorable. Just sayin’.

The typical boy band dance around at 3:21 is wonderful. Liam’s hat, Harry’s hair flip – just amazing.

So boys, in case you were wondering, I like causing trouble up in hotel rooms and I like having secret little rendezvous. I also like to do the things I know we shouldn’t do. Driving with the windows down is my favorite way to drive. Especially when I’m driving to places I can’t even pronounce. I like to do whatever I’ve been dreaming about. Who doesn’t? So, when do you want to start? Right now? Sounds perfect to me.

What did you think of the video?

Let’s discuss!

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