lotto

call the waahhmbulence

Have you ever been in one of those moods where everything just bothers you? I know I’m not alone here so I’ll just imagine all 3 of you nodding your heads. Anyway, I’ve found myself in one of those moods lately and as much as I really don’t enjoy blatantly complaining on here (true story: i’m not 100% sure if i’m kidding with that sentence or not), Facebook has reminded me that I haven’t posted in 5 days so I figured, why not?

To make it easier on myself, I’m going to list my first world annoyances instead of just rambling on about them paragraph by paragraph. as if that’s not going to happen anyway.

  • my job is annoying the ever-loving piss out of me. i know, i know – it’s the same story all the time i hate my job but i’m trying to get a new one. new year new me, bitches! whatever. this week has been torture. i wasn’t feeling well monday night but still decided to go in on tuesday, which was a mistake. i kept looking for corners to hide away in. which maybe would have slightly worked if i worked with normal people. who don’t look for me EVERY FIVE SECONDS. listen, i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a million times – i know that i’m not alone in my hatred of my job, my annoying co-workers, etc. however, it’s my blog and i’ll whine if i want to. a quick example – one of the events we hold for our students is the spring fling. it used to be winterball but all of a sudden that changed. i don’t ask questions. so i was tasked with the tickets. start to finish. i designed them, printed them, cut them and tomorrow i’ll bag them up so they’re ready to sell. today i was in the middle of cutting them out when my director comes over to me and says “oh! i don’t want you to cut your finger!” i finished the cut with the guillotine style paper cutter that must have come over on the arc with noah. i looked up for a second and she steps next to me and says “can you help me scan this to my email?” my co-worker was LITERALLY (the dictionary literally, not the basic bitch literally) sitting RIGHT THERE. she is more than capable of helping you scan something. my director has this thing where if she asks you to do something, you have to do it completely. meaning, if she gives you something to take from her office downstairs to make a copy (don’t get me started) and your co-worker happens to be going up to her office, you cannot ask your co-worker to save you a trip and bring up the copies. it drives me nuts. in addition, my night manager is still a condescending, rude jerk. i CAN.NOT take him anymore.

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whine, whine, whine. ramble, ramble, ramble.

  • i signed on to twitter this morning and the first thing that popped up was a tweet from MTV that said a “source” confirmed that One Direction is really breaking up. i probably shouldn’t include this one because i feel like if i write about the four lads from Lo(ver there, across the pond) again my blogging card and my “adult” card will be revoked. except i think it’s pretty obvious i got my adult card from the same guy who chalked everyone’s IDs in high school. how about this, “source”- let them go on break first and then we’ll see if they come back.

if you love something, set it free…

leo-decaprio-blows-a-kiss

they officially start the hiatus in march, contrary to my previous falsely reported date of sometime this month. whatever. it just wasn’t something i wanted to see being already miserable at work.

  • why do all of my favorite shows keep getting cancelled? i know i watch entirely too much television, but i feel like everytime i turn around another one is cancelled. rizzoli and isles is done after the next season, mob wives just start its final season (i’m going to miss those women so much.), and i just found out that mike and molly was cancelled.

Whyyyy-GIF

  • lastly, for this post anyway, POWERBALL. what the hell, man? the lottery gods just couldn’t throw me a bone? i can’t even say “oh, we all deserve to win” because let’s be real, when it comes to lotto, it’s every man for himself. i had so many plans for that money. ugh.

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First World problems, I definitely know.

Can we quickly talk about how I missed the memo about National Sticker Day? 7 year old Martina who carefully curated every sticker in her Lisa Frank sticker book is throwing the biggest tantrum right now.

What’s annoying you lately?

Let’s discuss!

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I’m linking up with Amanda today!
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Blogtober14 Day 1: If I won the lotto

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It only seems right to start this post with how much I can’t believe it’s October already so… wow I can’t believe it’s October already! Now that we have that out of the way…

I’ve been saying for the life of this blog that I want to write more, but with the exception of the last week or so, I’ve fallen short of that goal. Because of this I have decided to participate in Blogtober. This means there will be at least one new post here every day in October. I’m pretty excited so you should be too!

The first question of Blogtober asks what I would do if I won the lottery. My question to that is, “what kind of winnings are we talking about?” I assume it means the Mega. When you win a large sum like that they ask you how you want the money to be distributed. I would take the monthly payments. I think I’ve heard somewhere that you end up receiving more money that way because of something to do with the way they take the taxes out. Double win!  For the sake of this post, I’m going to assume that after all is said and done, I would walk away with $10,000 a week for the rest of my life. It might not seem like much, but when one check is just about what you currently make in a year and all you had to do was pick the winning combination of numbers, it’s a whole hell of alot.

yea, juuussst shy of 3 million

yea, juuussst shy of a million a week

You would probably assume that my fist order of business would be to quit my job. I don’t think I would only because I feel like I would need things to do. But then again, that’s what volunteering is for. If I didn’t totally quit my job then I wouldn’t be so quick to take on hours. I don’t need you bitches anymore!

The first month of checks would just have to be blown on frivolous things. Kate Spade, Michael Kors, new clothes, a trip to Target. Sephora, Ulta, and MAC – oh my! I would probably feel guilty just spending like a drunken sailor so this phase wouldn’t last too long. Really, how many lipsticks do you need? Seriously, I wouldn’t know. I have too many as it is.

The second month of checks would go to my parents. They never do anything for themselves so I would give them a month of checks and then whatever they wanted after that. The only stipulation would be that they either buy something they want (as opposed to need) or they do something fun with it. The money I give them is not allowed to go in the bank.

The third and fourth month of checks would be distributed to the rest of my family. Just like with my parents, I would give any of them more money as long as they’re doing non-adult like things with it. I’m not here to pay your bills, but if you want an iPad, by all means take my money.

My friends would benefit from my winnings at Christmas’ their birthdays, and whenever I saw something that I thought they would enjoy.

From each check I would give money to either a charity or the church. I’m a big believer in paying it forward. I would also give money every so often to the schools that I attended. I’m an advocate of the public school system, especially in New York.

I would also make sure that I had money put aside for when my favorite bands/ performers come to town. I would get tickets somewhere in rows 1-5 and hire a limo to get us there and home. No matter how you look at it, winning the lotto is a check full of free money delivered to your doorstep.  There’s no reason not to use it to stare up in to Harry Styles’ nostrils.

Speaking of Harry Styles, I would also use the money to travel. What does Harry have to do with traveling? He’s British and one of my trips would be across the pond. Keep up.

I would probably toy with the idea of renting an apartment in the city, but I think the better idea is to hire a driver. Who doesn’t love having the luxury of a car after a long day of shopping down 5th Ave? I would also have an on call hair stylist and make up artist. Not for everyday. Just for when I don’t feel like fighting with my hair only for it to fall the second I look away from the mirror.

Since we’re on the topic of grooming and looking good, I would start a plus sized clothing line because that part of the industry is lacking. (I went to Kohls and was extremely disappointed again) I don’t know much about the fashion world but, what I do know is I’m in the trenches, shopping at stores that offer nothing or very little. It’s laughable. That’s a totally different post though. I’ve talked about it before and I’m sure I will talk about it again so no need to get into it right now.

And finally, I’m sure the rational side of me would eventually take over and make me save and/or invest some of the money for the future I would have to or else my parents would disown me. They put in a ton of time trying to teach me how important it is to have something to fall back on. Especially when there was a time when my main career goal was to be a cashier, but that’s a whole different post for later in the month.

OK. One day of Blogtober down, 30 more to go!

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