I was cleaning out my screenshots folder on my phone and I realized that I had a ton of things (memes) that I meant to share on here. So, before they get too old and irrelevant, if they haven’t already, here are some that have made me blow air through my noise extra hard lately.
Today is one of those days where I’m left to hold down the fort while my co-workers are at an event. Naturally, I am using my time productively to get some work done pretend that I don’t have to share a computer clean out the screenshot folder on my phone. Some of these are really old, some you’ve probably seen floating around the internet before, all of them make me laugh. Or, inwardly smile, at least.
I recently dumped my photos from my phone into my Google Drive so what better time than now to share some of my favorites. Don’t worry, I’ve saved to pregnancy announcements and janky wedding pictures for another post (not really, we’ve all seen enough).
I don’t know how to begin this post so I’ll just get to the meat and potatoes.
I got the idea for this post from Jessie. She does screenshot sharing posts often and I think they’re fun so I decided to do one too. There’s no rhyme or reason to any of them, but I hope you enjoy anyway!
Get the butter because I’m on a roll! Today I’m here to talk about things that have been getting under my skin as of late. I was thinking that I should probably just start a series of these since I feel like I do them more often than not. Then I realized that I made a whole category dedicated to them already. I’m really not a miserable person, I promise. Anyway, I’m rantin’ and ramblin’ so hop on board!
You know what’s pissing me off?
-humble bragging, insta-bragging (whatever) about being engaged. You know the girl. Maybe you are the girl (in that case, no offense and congratulations!). The one who posts and “innocent” photo of their fresh manicure (!!) or their new coffee mug/smoothie cup (!!). Except their shiny new engagement ring is smack dab in the middle of the photo. like, hey, what’s up, hello. Also except that they’ve been engaged for like ever already. Is there a reason why everything is being held in/done with your left hand? I’m left handed and I don’t use mine as much as an engaged girl on Instagram. Obviously, I give a pass to the girls who just got engaged. Personally, my eyes don’t roll until about the 3-month mark. After that, eyes get rolled and teeth get sucked. All of this being said, prepare yourself for when my time comes because if my 90-year-old, arthritic hands can still hold a phone to take a picture and post it, I’ll be hashtagging and posting the shit out of my left hand. #blessed #luckygirl
-people who treat receptionists like they are public enemy number one. Thanks to my new job, I am quickly learning that about 80% of our client base feel that it is totally OK and normal to treat me and talk to me like I am the stupidest person they have ever come across. Like I am on the same level as the gum on the bottom of their shoe. Like a flea on a rat.
On Monday, the phone WOULD NOT STOP RINGING. I begged, I pleaded, I threw a $20 bill at it. I did everything I could think of, short of ripping it out of the wall, to get a moment’s peace so that I could handle the people in front of me. And yet, even with the shrill ring of the phone sounding every 30 seconds* and the exasperated look on my face, people still found it in their hearts to make me feel like they were the ones who were overwhelmed.
*not an exaggeration
-it’s been hot here in Brooklyn. Actually, not so much hot as it feels like Satan’s living room. It’s between 90 and 100 degrees every day with a humidity of about 5000%. The air conditioner in my room is old. High, Medium, Low knob kind of old. But, it still works well so, no big deal. My friend Slater (ba dum dum) has been showing his age lately by being super noisy. I sleep with my television on so noise usually doesn’t bother me, but it sounds like a rocket launch right next to my head. I guess the alternative is drowning in my own sweat, so I’ll just shut up now. Especially since soon enough it will be winter and I’ll be longing for the days of my screaming air conditioner. The Farmer’s Almanac is saying that this winter is going to be a doozy too so, I’m soaking it all in.
-my love life is abysmal. I know this, my friends and family know this, by now you know this. However, the universe is sending me signs from all over and then not following up. I’m a big believer in signs. Probably so much so that I’ll try to twist anything into meaning something. It’s another one of those quirky things I do that I’m hoping someone will find endearing and love me regardless. Anyway, for the past few weeks, I’ve seen names of boys I’ve liked all over the place, I saw my seventh grade crush on OKCupid (we were a 90% match.. i meaaaannnn…), and I bumped into someone I worked with at the seventh circle of hell. We were talking and catching up a little. I tried my hardest to flirt, which I am usually terrible at but I have to say I was doing holding my own. Without going into too much detail, the reason why he came in was because he had to pick up his paycheck. Payroll had gotten their wires crossed because he now works in a different department. So, I thought I was going to see him again the following week on payday, but when my supervisor went to pick up the checks, she returned his to payroll since she didn’t want the big boss to see it. Not know this was going to happen, I dolled myself up and walked into work like a dark haired Honey Boo Boo. I tried to play it so cool. When my supervisor came in with the checks, I was so excited. I had the breezy Facebook message all planned out. Then I find out that it won’t be necessary. Now I don’t know when I’ll see him again. Don’t mind me- I’m just in the corner, overthinking things, as usual.
It’s Friday! It snuck up on me again this week- i don’t know how that happens– so I don’t have any favorites prepared. That and this week was pretty blah. Like, so blah that I have an overwhelming 2003-esque desire to write vague Facebook statuses to make myself feel better. Then I remember that I’m 28 years old and have reached a level of maturity where I can deal with my issues like an adult – with wine. except i don’t even like wine. what.ev.er. let’s pretend i do, ok?
Anyway, I just wanted to do a little housekeeping and announce that I finally got around to making an Instagram page for my blog! The fact that you can switch accounts painlessly now helped tremendously in that decision so thanks, Instagram!
If you want to follow me you can either click on the photo below or on the Instagram logo on the sidebar. Either way, come on by!
I like to think that I’m a crafty person, but when it all comes down to it, I’m not. I get distracted or disappointed in how the project is coming out so I just put it off to the side and move on to the next one.
That being said, I was walking through Walmart and found these cool 4×4 frames. I didn’t know what to do with them, but I bought them anyway. Because, why not? When I got them home I realized that I would have to cut pictures to fit the frame and that’s not something that I enjoy. I went to Google and looked up places that print odd sizes. I found Nations Photo Lab. You guys, I’m in love! They have everything! They offer 3 different finishes, you can make proof prints if you’re a professional photographer, they’re great for graduation photo sets. They print on metal and canvas which I will probably take advantage of for Christmas. So, I placed an order for wayyy too many 4×4 prints of my favorite photos. I also ordered some wallet sizes because I found all of those plastic inserts that I bought at Claire’s a million years ago. And again, why not?
The prints came and I still didn’t know what to do with them. I wanted to incorporate some of my other frames and make a collage of varying sizes but I had no idea how to go about it. Whenever I try to do things like that they wind up coming out crooked because I have no patience with tape measures and levels.
Finally, I was looking around my room and, you know when you see things everyday but then all of a sudden it’s like you’re seeing it for the first time? I noticed that the wall to the left of my door needed updating. score! I already had things up there but they’ve been there forever and now I had a reason to change it up. I took down what was on there and started to arrange the new photos to see how they fit. That’s when the light went on.
I used the Command Picture Hanging strips to hang them without having to put millions of holes in my wall. Thankfully, I had the foresight to put the pictures I ordered into PicMonkey first and edited them a bit with some filters and the like. Now I have my very own instagram page on my wall. What’s great is that since they’re all hung on velcro, whenever I want to change a picture, I could just pull the frame off, replace the photo and stick it right back on the wall. I’m sure things like this are all over Pinterest, but I’m proud that I figured this one out myself. let me have my moment!
What I also love is that I have more room at the bottom and at the top so if I wanted to add more, I could. Except for the fact that I went on to Walmart’s website and they’re all sold out of the frames in this size so I have to wait until I could get to a brick and mortar store.
I think the cherry on top of this instasundae is how cheap it was*. Online, you can get a set of 6 frames for $6. In the store, they’re sold in sets of 2 for $2. The prints are 26 cents each, which is more than Shutterfly or Snapfish but I’m willing to pay extra to not have to cut them down myself. The velcro strips are usually about $9 a pack, which is high because you don’t get that many in a pack (I think the biggest pack has 8 sets in it. Each picture needs 1 set.) I was able to find smaller packs at the dollar store so I stocked up.
I wish I could do this on every wall of my house but I don’t think my mom would appreciate it. wait until i move out.instawalls for everybody!
*i purchased all of the supplies with my own money. i was not given anything for free nor am i being compensated for writing this post.
Anywayyyy… day four wants me to share my favorite Instagram post. In true Martina fashion, I don’t have just one.
As usual with all of my lists this one is in no particular order. I mean, who has time to rate their own Instagram pictures?
The story behind this one is this: I hate the snow. However, I wanted to take pictures of Central Park in the snow so I sucked it up. I snapped this shot and thought nothing of it. I was with Lisa when I took at and she loved it from the beginning. I still wasn’t convinced. One way or another more and more people started to see the photo and everyone who saw it loved it and bada bing, bada boom- I’ve sold it 4 times to 3 different people. It has grown to be one of my favorite pictures ever. You can read the whole story, because I’ve blogged all about it, right here.
Barnegat Light, Long Beach Island, New Jersey.
I was having a rough week at work. I knew (and still know) that I deserve better than what I have there. It’s a work in progress. Anyway, I was at my wit’s end when I took a lunch break and when I unpacked the bag to start to eat, this fell out. It made me smile and feel like I could make it through the rest of the day.
Marine Park, Brooklyn, New York I went for a walk around the park with Nicole and Lisa. We were taking a break on a bench and I saw that there were no people in front of us so I seized the opportunity and took this picture. I should censor it because there’s some major cloud porn going on here.
Lastly, and it seems as though I am bending the rules again since this is a collage and not a single picture. I chose this one though, not because of the photo, but because of who liked it. That’s right. ANDREW JENKS. As in the guy from MTV and the maestro of the All American High School Film Festival. (<— click there to read about my experience last year)
This post isn’t 100% fair because all of the pictures I post on Instagram mean something to me or, like in the case of Throwback Thursdays, have a special place in my heart. I would invite you to come and follow me , but I made my page private due to some potentially prying eyes that have no business being on my page. Until I could figure out how to find them and block them, I have my feed on the left side of the blog and you’re more than welcome to browse there.