harry styles

here comes 30

In a month from Wednesday, I’ll be 30.

30

Holy hell. That was a fast 3 decades.

I’ve been feeling my age lately, like my mind and body are already making the transition to this new phase of life. Today I’m going to talk about them so that you can comment down below and tell me you’re experiencing the same things and I could sigh, wipe my brow and think “woooo, it’s not just me”.

Everything hurts

Last month, I got up off my couch, turned to pick up my phone and couldn’t straighten up. I swear I saw stars. It was the worst.  It took about two weeks to feel normal again. I am gearing up for a trip to San Francisco (7 more days!) and I was talking to my mom about needing to buy a bottle of Advil to have, just in case. I also take Naproxen after a long day of walking so that my feet/ankles don’t swell. I mean, I think that sums it up. Prescription drugs and swollen feet after too much walking. In case that wasn’t enough,  my mom asked how many Naproxen I’d need. “10? Figure 3 a day?”

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No, Mom. I don’t need THREE a DAY.

I’m emotional

If I said it once, I’ve said it a million times. I’m not a big cryer. And to a degree, I’m still not. But lately, I’ll be scrolling through Facebook and a video will pop up and automatically start so, of course, I have to sit and watch it, and by the end, my eyes are brimming with tears. So, maybe not a full-on sobfest, but still more than a young twenty-something Martina would give. Last week I was on my lunch break and I was watching one where it was the events of the day from the mom’s point of view vs. the daughter’s. The mom was telling the cable repair guy how frazzled she was (sidenote: when people like the cable guy are asking how your day is going, they don’t really care. Don’t give him every detail, lady), how the kids were crazy, she can’t get anything done, etc. Then, the father is tucking the daughter into bed and asks her how her day was she tells him it was the best day ever! and how mommy played with them! and she loves her brother so much! Well, if I wasn’t a weeping ball of mush. Thank God I eat lunch alone. I sat there ugly crying over this 2-minute video. I’m actually getting choked up thinking about it right now.

My internal clock is set

It only took 29 years but now I can wake up without my roommate mom coming into my room to give me a good shake. #proud I truly wish I could pretend that I’m ashamed that it took that long, but honestly, I’m just not.

I have chin hairs

Lots of them. I’m not talking about cute peach fuzz like every other normal person. I mean there are 4 in particular that I can hold and cut with a scissor. Or play with all day, as is the case. To make it worse, they’re not all in the same spot so it feels like they’re taking over.

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I see Harry Styles as a true artist now and not just the British sexpot he used to be

Ok, that’s a lie. Have you seen his Carpool Harryoke with James Corden? Harry doing Lionel Richie better than Lionel Richie? Harry doing Julia Roberts better than Julia Roberts? YES PLEASE.

For real though, his album is a must listen. He’s got talent, that kid.

Did I talk about this already? Eh. Blame it on 30.

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slacking on styles

Guys, I’ve been slacking. Harry Styles’ album came out two weeks ago and I have yet to give my two cents. The truth is I was sidelined by a bout of sciatica that still hasn’t totally resolved itself, but at least now I can sit in blogger pose on my bed without wanting to die. Also, yea, sciatica. 29 going on 90.

Anyway…

Harold, Harold, Harold.

I’ve been saying for a while that I’ve been waiting for music to make a turn from the junk that’s on the radio now and go back to when songs made sense. When you can listen to a song and understand every word being sung. More talent, less autotune. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind the autotune, but it’s nice to be able to sing along and not mumble through the parts I invariably didn’t catch. That’s not to say that there aren’t any artists out there that are putting out quality work. We all know how I feel about Bruno and Adele. James Arthur has been winning me over lately. Ok, so maybe music today isn’t the garbage I’ve convinced myself it is.

I digress…

Harry has done it. He’s changing the tides. As I mentioned in my last Harry appreciation post, he went very 70’s. Very Jagger. Except still modern and Harry. Ya dig? Honestly, there was a not so small part of me that hoped for a One Direction sounding ballad (like For Your Eyes Only) hiding out somewhere on the album. I’m glad that there wasn’t since it wouldn’t have fit, but still, I wouldn’t have minded.

Ballad or no, there are a few standouts for me.

Carolina

Two Ghosts

Kiwi

Only Angel

Sign of the Times

Two Ghosts is 100% about Taylor Swift. They really did a number on each other, I think. Typical case of wrong time, wrong place. Such is life. Kiwi is a crazy, rock star life kind of jam. It also has me wondering, who’s having his baby?

To reiterate- this album has a very 70’s, yet almost 90’s sound to it. Everything yet nothing of what I expected. All that matters is Harry is making music, living life, and doing it all adorably.

Like when he did a surprise show at The Troubadour where Stevie Nicks made an appearance.  They did Landslide and then Harry cried.. ADORABLY.

See? Totes adorbs.

Have you given Harry’s album a listen yet? What do you think?

Let’s discuss!

Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney’s lovechild

“You know, Martina hasn’t talked about Harry Styles in a while. I hope she’s OK” – you, probably (definitely not)

I’m fine. Harry’s fine. We’re all fine. The kids are good. School’s almost out and we’re all looking forward to the summer… Did I just lapse into fan fiction? Oh well. Don’t judge.

Anyway, Harry is gearing up for the release of his debut solo album and he’s making the rounds. Yesterday, he was on Good Morning America giving us a sample of what’s coming. Let me tell you – I am here for it.

HERE . FOR . IT.

I’ve missed that manly rasp of his. come to mama.

Harry performed in front of 6 city blocks filled with fans. One fan, however, was noticeably absent and the pain was felt all the way to Brooklyn, where that fan was trying to make herself feel better by searching the #harrystyles tag on Instagram to get up to the minute updates on what was going on in Rockefeller Plaza. It was me, in case you had any doubts.

Since I wasn’t able to make it to the (I guess you can call it) concert, I was left to catch up on YouTube. I work at a shared desk with one computer (please. don’t.) so I had to figure out how to be the one in control of the music. Luckily, my boss appeared with some stuff that needed to go on to a spreadsheet and viola! I’m in.

I haven’t talked about Wild Style(s)  in a while so excuse me while I gush. The pink suit – loved it. v. Mick Jagger. He was always the flashiest dresser of the group so I didn’t expect anything less. The hair – perfect. It finally grew out enough for him to look like a grown up 2013 Harry. Or a little like Louis, but whatever. The songs – so exciting. He sang Sign of the Times (above), Ever Since New York, Carolina and One Direction (album only) hit Stockholm Syndrome. He also adorably laughed/smiled everytime a fan did or said something to make him notice them. Like, scream I love you. i was so jealous.

Stockholm Syndrome isn’t my favorite, but he wrote it so he might as well sing it, right? Anyway, between the pink suit the fandemonium, and the signing songs he wrote because the fans like them and not because they belong to a band, he reminds me of the love child of Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney.

Mark my words, kids – Harry Styles is going to be around for a loooooong time.

Hurry up, Friday. I can’t wait to get my hot little hands on this album.

On a related note – I just got a flashback of buying stacks of CDs at The Wiz. Nobody beats The Wiz!

Oh, lastly – does anyone have Apple TV or whatever they’re calling it these days? Let me know so I can come over and use it because right after the album is released there is going to be a behind the scenes/making of the album movie which shows Harry recording at Abbey Road, Harry writing songs for the album and Harry in his underwear. Help a sister out!

 

i’m back! and whinier than ever!

I told you I wouldn’t be back right away. I didn’t think it would take this long for me to actually sit and write something to post, yet here we are a mere month later.

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I’m going to be real with you. I’ve thought about writing and posting pretty much every single day. And every day something would “come up”. I’m stuck at work. I have nothing to say. I’m tired. and on, and on, and on… 

I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I’m hoping that by getting this posted, I can break away from whatever is bothering me. I’m in one of those stages where I can’t pinpoint what’s wrong. There has to be something wrong since I have had absolutely no desire, past doing it in my head, to do what I truly enjoy.  blogging and taking pictures, in case you weren’t sure. I feel lazy, unsure, not funny, just all around ill-equipped to be here, running this blog. It’s a funky funk. I think. I hope. I feel fragile but for absolutely no reason. Maybe it’s not fragility, maybe it’s more vulnerability. Either way, it’s not something I’m used to and I don’t like it. Is this normal? Do you feel like this too sometimes?

I’ve been waiting/looking for inspiration. I keep up with my favorite bloggers, hoping that something will turn the light on in my brain. Nothing. Don’t get me wrong. I think you guys are great. AMAZING. But your stories are your stories. I can’t pull inspiration from things that I can’t relate to/never experienced.

I’m hesitant to write this because I feel like every few months (weeks, if i’m being honest) I’m here complaining about my life. My job(s), my (lack of) romance, my weight/clothes shopping, what have you. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of the constant whining.

wahhhhhh i don’t wanna work weekends.  wahhhhhh #foreveralone. wahhhhhh shopping sucks.

That’s how it sounds in my head, at least.

The fact of the matter is, if everybody’s workin’ for the weekend, then you got it covered so I’ll just stay home. I just want a regular job. 9am-5pm (or 7-3 or 8-4, whatever), with my own desk, computer with internet access (you would think this is standard; it’s 2017. you would think.) Maybe one that showcases my skills. Definitely one that affords me to do basic things (like take a day off and not worry about finding coverage or not getting paid for the day).

I paid for a month of OKCupid. It’s not going well. To be fair, I guess you get what you put in and I’m not making much of an effort, but I digress. I’m getting a handful more messages/likes than usual but nothing that would have me think “why didn’t I do this sooner?” Have I put myself out there in other ways? No, but can we just not go there?

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I don’t know what to say about shopping. When it’s good, it’s OK and when it’s bad, it sucks big elephant dick. (remember when i said i thought cursing was becoming too free and easy? let’s all have a laugh at my hypocrisy)

I’m also really tired (like, really tired. exhausted even) of the absolute fuckery that’s going on in the White House/government lately. On the news, they were reporting about the nerve gas attack in Syria. The Commander in Tweet released a statement blaming President Obama and his administration for it (wut?) and then basically told the Syrian dictator to carry on. NBD. NERVE GAS. As in a chemical that is banned by the civilized world. GTFO.

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It also doesn’t help that my father is obsessed with, as he calls him, the Trumpster, so it’s all news all the time in my house. And by obsessed, I mean in a good way, like, how do we get rid of him? Here, sign this petition.

As if it needs to be said at this point, but everything has been annoying me lately. Like, a lot more than usual. Things that shouldn’t get under my skin are getting under there and setting up camp. Everything has been making me suck my teeth and roll my eyes. I’m (almost) 30, not 13. WHAT IS GOING ON? But then again, some eye rolls are warranted. Like when my boss yesterday went to pick up her phone to make a phone call, thought better of it, and then asked me to make the call instead. Or, like when she called me from her desk with a functioning computer on it, to ask if I could email a student about an event that we were having last night. seriously?

Life isn’t all bad though. Harry Styles is releasing his first solo single on Friday and will be on SNL the following week. I can’t wait to hear that raspy voice and get lost in those sparkling emerald eyes of his.

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I jumped on the bandwagon and updated the name on my blog’s Facebook page. If you’re thinking of changing yours, DO IT. I haven’t seen a huge jump in views, but there’s definitely more traffic to the page, which hopefully, will lead to traffic to the blog.

Am I being dramatic? Yea, probably.

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Eventually, inspiration will hit and I’ll be back, better than ever. Like I never left.

Thanks for reading! Thanks for putting up with me. I’m a real handful. A gem.

On a quick sidenote – what’s everyone watching? I am really loving Feud: Bette and Joan. They were some #badbitches. You can’t go wrong with Ryan Murphy.

1DWD, if you will.

It’s been a minute since I’ve gushed about my favorite foursome, aka One Direction. It’s been a big week for at least two of them and being the good fan that I am, I’m here to celebrate their successes.

Harry, my love, has done his first solo magazine interview for AnOther Man magazine. He has cut his luxurious (yet, kind of greasy looking) locks and has taken us through the process. What resulted from that is a very Mick Jagger inspired photo shoot. His interview was conducted by Sir Paul McCartney and Chelsea Handler, which I would have loved to sit in on, it must have been a good time. He was asked if he saw the band getting back together, to which he gave a heartbreaking answer of “if it comes naturally and we all want to do it, we’ll do it”. ugh. I lived through the late 90’s/early 2000’s, I know what a boy band break up looks like. He also was asked if he was ready for kids and marriage and he said something like “only if Martina will have me”, so I guess the answer is yes. Harry, if you’re reading this – HEY, BOO. Or maybe he said that he likes working right now and he wants to take advantage of that while he still can. Whatever.

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ugh. beautiful.

Niall has released a new single and boy, is it pretty. Take a listen.

 

Don’t mind me – I’m just going through some 1D withdrawals.1DWDs, if you will. Is there a detox for this? HELP.signature - script

a (sort of belated) friday favorites

Hi, friends! It’s Friday, who’s excited? I mean, duh.

I was supposed to have this post up last week, but whatever. I had an abnormally full week of work last week and it got away from me.

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Today I’m coming to you with a Friday Favorites, what else?

Kodiak Cakes

I saw these on Instagram a few months ago and since then, I’ve been on the hunt. They’re the Easy Mac of pancakes. Except they’re healthy. I finally found them at Target and got the Cinnamon Maple and Blueberry Maple flavors. By now I’ve tried both and they’re pretty good. They’re a little dry, so I put a little butter on top. I’m going to keep my eye out for more flavors and for the Minute Muffins, because who doesn’t love a good muffin? Unless they’re savory because, no.

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James Bay

I’ve mentioned my new found love of Mr. Bae Bay before, but since we use YouTube for music at work and there’s only so much hip hop I could listen to (don’t get me wrong, i’ll listen to anything, but i can’t with some of these songs. and why won’t chris brown go away? sorry, he will always be a piece of shit in my book), I like to sneak over and put on some 1D or Adele or, my newest favorite Brit, Jim Bay. I can listen to Let It Go on repeat, but I’m also loving Best Fake Smile. I don’t know what it is about skinny British musicians with long hair and a penchant for hats, but there’s something and I’m not complaining.

james and harry

one day i’ll get through a post without mentioning harry. one day.

I still have love for my guys who look like they be in ads for watches, though.

Nicole and Jionni’s Shore Flip (FYI channel)

I love these two; they’re absolutely made for TV. From meeting drunkenly at Karma and breaking the cardinal rule of never falling in love at the Jersey Shore, to ending it in Italy and eventually pulling it together and making a family – we’ve been through a lot together.

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Anyway, Snooki Nicole and her husband, Jionni are now house flippers. He’s actually very handy and, of course, has friends and family in the construction game. What kind of Jersey boy would he be if he didn’t? Nicole (it doesn’t get any less weird the more you call her that, trust me) has a really creative side and I like to watch her put a room together. Honestly, I’d love for her to come in and decorate my house. See? a leopard could change its spots!

The Cookie Monster/ SIRI commercial

We all know that I love a good commercial and this one does not disappoint. The first time I watched it, I laughed the whole way through. Who am I kidding? I laugh every time I watch it.

Nikon 1 J5

I put this little beauty on my Christmas wish list that apparently got lost on the way to the North Pole. I finally had enough money saved, plus a little help from Uncle Sam, to buy it. She’s a mirrorless camera, which as far as I can tell, means you get all of the bells and whistles of a regular DSLR camera in a compact size. There’s definite differences in the two types of cameras, but as I get used to the new one, the more I’m liking it. There’s always a bit of a learning curve with these things and hopefully I’ll get over the hump soon.

Well, friends, that about does it. How was your week?

Let’s discuss!

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friday five + a (mini) rant!

It’s Friday – #thankgod.

I haven’t done a Friday Five in a while because I haven’t liked anything enough if we’re being honest here. I’m going to try to throw a few things together because, well, it’s Friday and I feel like it’s the right thing to do. Let’s get into it, shall we?

  1. Mindy is back in April. The 12th, to be exact.

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Finally! It’s been long enough, no? Who’s ready for my obsessive re-caps? Because I’m for sure ready to write them.

2. It’s been a week since the Grammy’s, but I have to say that I cannot get enough of the performances. Specifically, the Carrie Underwood/Sam Hunt one and the Tori Kelly/James Bae Bay one. Neither of which are available anywhere.

I’m OK with grainy YouTube videos that people made by just pointing a camera at the television, but I really wanted to download them and have them forever. So if there’s a way, let me know! i’m sure that wasn’t the creepiest thing i’ve ever said on here, but on a scale of 1-watch list, it was a solid 6.

3.Speaking of creepy, it must have been a slow news day yesterday because the breaking news that Harry Styles got a hair cut popped up on my Newsfeed. I, of course, immediately shared it because THANK GOD. It turns out that it was only a trim, but it looks clean so all is right with the world. With this break going on, I’ll take anything I can get.

4. It’s been gray and windy and cold in New York lately so yesterday, I decided we needed some flowers in the house. My roommates parents were out for the day so for a treat I went to my favorite bodega flower shop and picked out 3 bunches of flowers and had the guy wrap them nicely. For less than $20 I had a florist quality arrangement. Who needs Trader Joes?

Bodega flowers > Trader Joes flowers 🌹🌼🌻🌸🌷

A post shared by Martina (@asplashofmimosa) on

5. I’ve been on the hunt for two dresses. One for a work event and one for a wedding. The one for the wedding I think I may have found, it just has to get to my house and then it needs to fit. fingers crossed! The one for the work event (that I don’t even know if I’m offically attending yet) is out there, I just have to find it. I saw this dress on Instagram and I HAD to have it.

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I’ve been on the hunt for a tulle skirt for a while now. This dress combines the non-hassle of a dress and the ballerina- like tulle that I yearn for. Except, like most things in my life right now, it is unobtainable. Why? I am not spending $74.50 on a dress that I’ll wear maybe three times. Call me cheap, I don’t care. #sorrynotsorry. I’m tired of having to spend so much more money on clothes just because I’m plus sized. I’ve ranted before and I’ll probably rant again, but for now I’ll just lust from afar.

Real quick though, because I didn’t tell this story when it happened and since we’re on the topic – I went shopping for the dress I need for a wedding. I was with my mom in JCPenney. I honestly was not in the mood to shop, but we were in the mall and decided to look. There was absolutely nothing on the ONE RACK of plus size dresses. Actually, there was one dress that I decided to try on, but I knew it wasn’t the right dress. I scanned it to see the price and it came up full price. My mom found the same exact dress in a straight size and scanned it and that dress was on sale. She found a salesgirl and asked why this was. I had walked away towards the dressing room. My mom was getting progressively louder, which she never does, and I was getting progessively more irritated, which always happens. I was about to just scream “Ma! Enough! I’m not buying the dress” when I heard her stop. The bottom line was that the salesgirl had no idea/explanation as to why the dresses were different prices. My mom accused JCPenney of being biased, probably leaving the salesgirl soooo happy she came to work that day. I DMed JCPenney on Twitter because I had luck that way before and because I was really disgusted. Not only because of the dress price difference but because the whole plus size section looked like a schlock shop/ a nursing home closet; in total disarray and filled with old lady clothes. They never got back to me. I’m tired of it.

Here’s what I sent to them on Twitter:

I was dress shopping in your Staten Island Mall store and I have a huge bone to pick with you. First of all, the plus size section is an absolute horror. The styles are outdated and have been for a while now. Second, I went in looking for formal wear, or at the very least a nice dress to wear to a wedding. The dress section is all mixed together Misses, Plus, Petites and Juniors. Except Plus Size was relegated to ONE rack. Every other size had beautiful dresses for every occasion. The one rack for for plus size had mostly winter items. Finally, there was a dress on the ONE plus size rack that I decided to try on. When I went to scan it, the dress was full price. When I scanned the exact same dress in a straight size, it was 25% off. The salesgirl could not give me an explanation as to why this was. I’ll tell you why – as many strides as plus size fashion has made, it hasn’t come far enough. Stores (not just JCP) refuse to acknowledge the plus size consumer as a person. We deserve nice clothes and a vast selection also. I understand you can’t please everyone but this store has had this problem for a while now. Please at least try to fix this. You owe it to your loyal customers.

I mean, whatever. Unfortunately, I can’t boycott the store because it’s one of the only places that is easily accessible for me.

Well this took a turn. Anyway, what have you been loving/ making you happy this week?

Let’s discuss!

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the one before the break

Ok, here’s the deal. I totally did NOT want to write about One Direction. Their hiatus has officially started, we’ll see them in 18 months (hopefully).

BUT.

They did a Carpool Karaoke sesh with James Corden and it got me feeling all sorts of things. But mostly things that make me go RAWR.

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So, we all know what Carpool Karaoke is, right? Basically, James Corden and a musical star drive around singing said star’s songs. Get it? Good.

Watch this one and then we’ll come back and discuss.

  • what good boys, putting their seatbelts on.
  • “Turn the air con on” – Harry. soulmates. nobody likes to schvitz.
  • i wonder if they’ll ask James to be the 5th member of the band after they come back from this silly little “break”.
  • they totally should.
  • “Who the hell put my seat heater on? Stop it, man. My ass is on fire” it was totally harry. man up, liam.
  • this chick follows them so much liam recognizes her? i don’t know if i’m disgusted or impressed.
  • i’m going to go with disgusted.
  • ugh. i love when they call people “love”. so british.
  • did they stop at mcdonalds?
  • THEY TOTALLY STOPPED AT MCDONALDS.
  • belt it, harry.
  • ohh Best Song Ever. yesss.
  • YAAAASSSS, harry.
  • james has officially replaced zayne #girlbye
  • niall’s got a canadian tuxedo now (only love to my northern neighbors)
  • “i’ve got double denim” – niall “you’re winning already then” – louis
  • when did No Control become so risque?
  • harry is killing it today
  • it does feel right, james
  • niall’s marrying selena gomez. well played, my little leprechaun.
  • james, you dropped the ball. what about harry and taylor? he needs to stop giving that media rehearsed answer. i thought you’d be the one to get it out of him. fine.. moving on.

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  • ok jimmy, you’ve redeemed yourself.
  • HAROLD. christ.

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So, I guess this is it for now. Have a great break, boys and we’ll see you when we see you. And seriously, consider adding James to the band. That rap was brillant.

It will get easier, right?

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i feel like i should add for the people who are new here or for the ones who don’t speak sarcasm, i’m totally kidding. sure, i’m bummed but nowhere near as dramatic as i’m pretending to be. just so we’re all clear. 

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the end?

With only a week left until their newest album comes out, One Direction released another song from the album today. They’ve said it’s one of their favorites and I could totally see why. Here’s the song with lyrics. one stop shopping over here.

At first, I assumed that this song was, again, about Harry and Taylor because God forbid I let that die. So I was pretty excited. More dirt, more unrequited love.

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Then I Googled around a bit and read that it was a song for the fans. Whaaat? No. It’s about Harry and Taylor. How could it not be? They are both obviously still hurting after ending a three month relationship three years ago. Let me listen again. Oh God.

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We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen / You and me got a whole lot of history / So don’t let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever.

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Their hiatus hasn’t even started and I miss them already.

Minibars, expensive cars, hotel rooms and new tattoos, good champagne and private planes But we don’t need anything Cause’ the truth is out, I realize that without you here like there’s just a lie This is not the end This is not the end We can make it you know it, you know

This CAN’T be the end. You guys will still grace the pages of rag magazines, right? Maybe do an interview or two? i’m mostly looking at you, harry.

What do you think of the new song? Do you think this is the end?

Let’s discuss!

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