living like a kardashian

I’m going to put something out there and I need you guys not to judge me.

I’ve gotten hooked on Keeping Up with the Kardashians.


I know. I KNOW. But honestly, I did some quick math as to when they would have filmed, and I thought there was a possibility of Harry making an appearance since he and Kendall were a thing. So far, no luck. Not even a mention of the yacht trip. I’m still holding out hope. Then again, I’ve never been that great at math.

The up-side to my new time killer is that it got me to thinking. I’ve written about what I’d do if I won the lotto a while ago. Although I still love and stand by my answers, I feel like the lotto is a bit of a hassle; too much pressure. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t say no thank you to a Powerball win. As I have gotten deeper into the lives of Kim and klan, I keep thinking to myself, one – why are you still watching this? and two – how can I live like a Kardashian? Unlike lotto winnings that can run out, Kardashian money just keeps coming. I’ve said before and I’ll say again – I know they work hard. I could never be ON all the time. Also, Kendall is a legitimate model. Anyway, they just seem to have a constant flood of money. Like when Kendall was away for work and was feeling left out when she came home so the other girls planned a sleepover/girls night and had their faces put on to sticks. What the heck is Kendall going to do with them afterward? It just seems like a waste all around. Basically, I want to be able to buy/do stupid things with my money and not regret or worry about it.

Getting back on track – when I was little and got a little out of control with the pointing at the TV and screaming “I WANT THAT!” at almost every toy commercial, my parents would tell me that the money tree in the backyard hadn’t bloomed yet. Well, now I’m going to pretend that the undying money tree has bloomed and I now have the ability to live like a Kardashian, without the pesky lottery commission taking out taxes and without having the hassle of filming a sex tape for my mom to sell.

She-Shed: I was flipping through the channels the other day and I came across a show called “He Shed/ She Shed”. It’s pretty self-explanatory. Two designers. One puts together a shed oasis for a woman and the other does one for a man. There’s no winner or loser. Immediately I thought about how great it would be to plop one of those in my backyard, wire it with the essentials – electricity, internet, carve out a small corner for a toilet and maybe a small sink (because, #convienience) and live there. I realize it would be easier and probably more self-sufficient to just use the money to buy my own place, but I’ve always wanted one of these bad boys so even with my own home, I’d still get one. Like a staycation home. It would be like living in a Diane Keaton movie, only less menswear.  I would need the money tree because I get bored pretty easily and I would need to redecorate often. And those things aren’t cheap. But who can put a price on paradise?


Pedro Garcia Idana flats – First I would need a foot transplant because my feet are too flat and too wide for these beauties. They hurt just looking at them. But tell me these aren’t the most summery shoes you’ve ever seen. They totally are. Also perfect for summer brides or brides doing the destination thang and getting married on a beach. Having horrible feet and not being a bride, I’ll have to sit these out, but I’ll think of them always. the shoes that got away.


Flowers – EVERYWHERE. I absolutely love fresh flowers. Big bouquets, small ones. Wildflowers, captive flowers. I would have a florist on call. Maybe set up weekly deliveries. Then, when I get old and senile, I’ll think I have a secret admirer who sends flowers all the time. Right now, I’m my own paramour and treat myself to bodega bouquets pretty regularly. Still, not as exciting as weekly deliveries and not so secret admirers.


Sunglasses- I’m going thorugh a sunglass phase in my life. I can’t get enough. I would love to be able to buy any pair I want with no remorse. I was wondering through Macy’s recently and I fell in love with this pair from Michael Kors. I tried them on and as the sales girl came over to see if I needed anything, I looked up and she said “Ohh yes. Those are so you!” Sales tactic or not, I need these glasses now. (I mean, my birthday is less than two weeks away.. #hint.) I also heard RayBan has come out with a pair that has really dark lenses. This may not be a new thing. I live for dark lenses. The better to hide my side-eye with, my dear.


Gel manicures – In the scheme of things, this is probably the one thing that I wouldn’t need a money tree for, but I figured I’d add it because I don’t always make time to go. I just got a gel mani for a wedding (that I will write about in detail soon!) but not 5 days after I got the manicure, one nail is chipped and two more are lifting. NOT COOL. Aren’t these things supposed to survive nuclear war?

PicMonkey Collage

BRB, going to sprinkle some Miracle Gro on the money tree.

What would you do with unlimited funds?

Let’s discuss!



friday five + a (mini) rant!

It’s Friday – #thankgod.

I haven’t done a Friday Five in a while because I haven’t liked anything enough if we’re being honest here. I’m going to try to throw a few things together because, well, it’s Friday and I feel like it’s the right thing to do. Let’s get into it, shall we?

  1. Mindy is back in April. The 12th, to be exact.


Finally! It’s been long enough, no? Who’s ready for my obsessive re-caps? Because I’m for sure ready to write them.

2. It’s been a week since the Grammy’s, but I have to say that I cannot get enough of the performances. Specifically, the Carrie Underwood/Sam Hunt one and the Tori Kelly/James Bae Bay one. Neither of which are available anywhere.

I’m OK with grainy YouTube videos that people made by just pointing a camera at the television, but I really wanted to download them and have them forever. So if there’s a way, let me know! i’m sure that wasn’t the creepiest thing i’ve ever said on here, but on a scale of 1-watch list, it was a solid 6.

3.Speaking of creepy, it must have been a slow news day yesterday because the breaking news that Harry Styles got a hair cut popped up on my Newsfeed. I, of course, immediately shared it because THANK GOD. It turns out that it was only a trim, but it looks clean so all is right with the world. With this break going on, I’ll take anything I can get.

4. It’s been gray and windy and cold in New York lately so yesterday, I decided we needed some flowers in the house. My roommates parents were out for the day so for a treat I went to my favorite bodega flower shop and picked out 3 bunches of flowers and had the guy wrap them nicely. For less than $20 I had a florist quality arrangement. Who needs Trader Joes?

Bodega flowers > Trader Joes flowers 🌹🌼🌻🌸🌷

A post shared by Martina (@asplashofmimosa) on

5. I’ve been on the hunt for two dresses. One for a work event and one for a wedding. The one for the wedding I think I may have found, it just has to get to my house and then it needs to fit. fingers crossed! The one for the work event (that I don’t even know if I’m offically attending yet) is out there, I just have to find it. I saw this dress on Instagram and I HAD to have it.


I’ve been on the hunt for a tulle skirt for a while now. This dress combines the non-hassle of a dress and the ballerina- like tulle that I yearn for. Except, like most things in my life right now, it is unobtainable. Why? I am not spending $74.50 on a dress that I’ll wear maybe three times. Call me cheap, I don’t care. #sorrynotsorry. I’m tired of having to spend so much more money on clothes just because I’m plus sized. I’ve ranted before and I’ll probably rant again, but for now I’ll just lust from afar.

Real quick though, because I didn’t tell this story when it happened and since we’re on the topic – I went shopping for the dress I need for a wedding. I was with my mom in JCPenney. I honestly was not in the mood to shop, but we were in the mall and decided to look. There was absolutely nothing on the ONE RACK of plus size dresses. Actually, there was one dress that I decided to try on, but I knew it wasn’t the right dress. I scanned it to see the price and it came up full price. My mom found the same exact dress in a straight size and scanned it and that dress was on sale. She found a salesgirl and asked why this was. I had walked away towards the dressing room. My mom was getting progressively louder, which she never does, and I was getting progessively more irritated, which always happens. I was about to just scream “Ma! Enough! I’m not buying the dress” when I heard her stop. The bottom line was that the salesgirl had no idea/explanation as to why the dresses were different prices. My mom accused JCPenney of being biased, probably leaving the salesgirl soooo happy she came to work that day. I DMed JCPenney on Twitter because I had luck that way before and because I was really disgusted. Not only because of the dress price difference but because the whole plus size section looked like a schlock shop/ a nursing home closet; in total disarray and filled with old lady clothes. They never got back to me. I’m tired of it.

Here’s what I sent to them on Twitter:

I was dress shopping in your Staten Island Mall store and I have a huge bone to pick with you. First of all, the plus size section is an absolute horror. The styles are outdated and have been for a while now. Second, I went in looking for formal wear, or at the very least a nice dress to wear to a wedding. The dress section is all mixed together Misses, Plus, Petites and Juniors. Except Plus Size was relegated to ONE rack. Every other size had beautiful dresses for every occasion. The one rack for for plus size had mostly winter items. Finally, there was a dress on the ONE plus size rack that I decided to try on. When I went to scan it, the dress was full price. When I scanned the exact same dress in a straight size, it was 25% off. The salesgirl could not give me an explanation as to why this was. I’ll tell you why – as many strides as plus size fashion has made, it hasn’t come far enough. Stores (not just JCP) refuse to acknowledge the plus size consumer as a person. We deserve nice clothes and a vast selection also. I understand you can’t please everyone but this store has had this problem for a while now. Please at least try to fix this. You owe it to your loyal customers.

I mean, whatever. Unfortunately, I can’t boycott the store because it’s one of the only places that is easily accessible for me.

Well this took a turn. Anyway, what have you been loving/ making you happy this week?

Let’s discuss!


flowers minus the allergies!

I didn’t really have a post planned (do I ever?), but since it’s been a sad last couple of days in New York, I thought that I’d share my happy flower pictures from my trip to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens this past weekend.

sorry, meg. no daisies.

sorry, meg. no daisies.

wish there were daisies. There were lots of cherry blossoms and tulips and trees. tons and tons of trees. But alas, no daisies. I think next time I’ll do more research to see what’s in season, but you don’t care about that. I get it. Ok, no more talking.

We found the rose garden, which of course, was not in bloom. just my luck. It did have a perfect place to pose for pictures. I call this my “if i had the sweet sixteen i wanted, sweet sixteen” pose. Also known as the “if i get married before i’m 90, wedding” pose.


Then we walked over to the library and Grand Army Plaza. I used to pass them everyday when I went to school. I always wanted to get off the bus and wander around but I never did. Because I had papers to write and also, I’m lazy.

Then we went to a Vietnamese restaurant in Brooklyn Heights, where I had my first banh mi sandwich. I don’t know what took me so long. I’m trying to figure out how to have one at least once a day, everyday.

I’d like to say that when I got home I did more than read on the couch but I didn’t. Because again, I’m lazy.

I mentioned that it’s been a sad couple of days here in New York. So, in light of recent events, I just wanted to add this here.


thank you for doing a job that I could never do.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” (Matthew 5:9)

What’s your favorite flower? Have you experienced the magic that is banh mi?

Let’s discuss!


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