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screenshots, no chaser #4

Today is one of those days where I’m left to hold down the fort while my co-workers are at an event. Naturally, I am using my time productively to get some work done  pretend that I don’t have to share a computer clean out the screenshot folder on my phone. Some of these are really old, some you’ve probably seen floating around the internet before, all of them make me laugh. Or, inwardly smile, at least.

 

What have you been inwardly laughing at lately?

coming at us from both coasts, so to speak

I had another post planned. Actually, nothing was planned, I just didn’t expect to write this today. So don’t expect another, funnier, less political post is what I’m saying.

So, we’ve all seen the toxic cesspool that Facebook has turned into since the election. Normally, I’ll ignore it. Especially since in real, non-internet life, I like these people. They’re friends, family, family friends and I’m usually able to separate the two.

However, today I saw two things that made my normally 98.6 degree blood boil. Interestingly enough, they came from the same person. Before I get into it, let me set some of the scene. There are people that I am friends with on Facebook that even I don’t know how they got there. Some I probably shouldn’t have asked/accepted in the first place and some I should delete, but honestly, I can’t be bothered. That being said, the person who knocked me over the edge today was my friend’s grandmother.

First I saw that she had commented on a post that was congratulating Betsy DeVos on her appointment as the new Secretary of Education. barf. The comment she left was “Congratulations. Make America Smart Again!”

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HOW? HOW IS SOMEONE WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EDUCATION EXPERIENCE GOING TO “MAKE AMERICA SMART AGAIN”? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW? I would love to be enlightened. And, smart AGAIN? The only time we stopped being smart was when we elected that rotting tangerine. I say “we” very loosely because I had nothing to do with that decision.

I put my phone down for a while but lunchtime rolled around and I was scrolling again. This is when I saw a status from the same person saying “Don,t they ever get tired of demonstrating? Get freaking life already. Who cares what u think.”

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actual gif of me reading that status.

THEY’RE DEMONSTRATING BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU! People who are so intolerant, so close-minded, so uninformed. They’re demonstrating against the bullies and the incompetents that you’ve put into power. So, no. They won’t get tired of demonstrating. Some of their freaking lives depend on it.

To be fair, I know that some people who either voted for Trump or who support him aren’t intolerant, incompetent or uninformed. I don’t think those people have Facebook accounts, though. Or, they are capable of having an adult conversation/debate with someone who doesn’t agree with their views. Also, I know that there are people like this on both sides of the fence. I saw a picture of someone at a protest (I’m not sure which one so I might be taking this out of context) with a sign that said something like “Don’t hire veterans. They’re already broken” or some other nonsense. I find that wildly inappropriate. The shitstorm is coming at us from both coasts, so to speak.

Is there a way to fast forward to a time when we’re through this tantrum the country is going through? Or maybe rewind to simpler “President Bush mispronounced a word” times? Let me know.

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single gal speaks: facebook stalking

We’ve all done it. We can deny it, try to stop it, or just learn to embrace that it is part of every day life now. I even found myself doing it yesterday afternoon. What am I talking about?

FACEBOOK STALKING

Specifically, an old flame’s new match. 

Ugh. I know, right? Since I found myself doing this recently, I figured I’d make a list of what was going through my head as I was doing it so we can all commiserate together in the comments.

for reference: my urge to snoop around stemmed from a text from a friend who mentioned the new match. ok, let’s go.

  • hmm.. i can’t remember what the new girl looks like..
  • open Facebook app
  • what was her name again?
  • ugh. i can’t find her. how does she spell it?
  • she has to be different, doesn’t she?
  • maybe this is a sign to just turn back and not open pandora’s box
  • ha! yea, right

tomhanksygm

  • ok, who’s friend list could i find her on?
  • this would be so much easier if HE had a facebook
  • this may take all night. i mean, i’ve got nothing else to do.
  • ten minutes later…
  • BINGO!
  • what is her profile picture of? click
  • oh. they took engagement photos. how nice.
  • i don’t even have feelings for him anymore. why is this bothering me?
  • oh God. they’re in a meadow
  • LAAAAAAMMMEEEEE
  • are there any more?
  • she’s got her profile locked up tighter than fort knox.

drevil

  • why does she look so young? am i really that old?
  • he looks good.
  • ugh. please. don’t go there.
  • but he really does.
  • STOP.IT.
  • maybe he doesn’t look that good.
  • yes he does.
  • ENOUGH. look at something else.
  • she’s really taking advantage of those privacy settings, huh?
  • well, i guess we’re done here. until next time, lovebirds.
  • close facebook app
  • gag

Am I close? Those privacy settings are a killer, no?

Let’s discuss!

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facebook made me do it

Facebook made me write this post. I didn’t have anything in mind to talk about but then I signed on to that shit-stirring website and saw this:

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Seriously? Way to make me feel guilty, Facebook.

Anyway, I decided to give in and post something for my fans. Except I still didn’t know what to say. I started to feel really bad for myself because i have absolutely nothing going on in my life.

So I tried to think outside of the box. Then it hit me. My life might have nothing going on in it at the moment, but other people’s do.

People like Zayn Malik and the other boys of One Direction.

So yea, I’m going to be talking about One Direction in about five seconds and you have Facebook to thank. total shit stirrer.

I’m not going to lie, I wasn’t too surprised when the news broke that Zayn was calling it quits. If you were paying attention, as I’m sure everyone was, he missed a handful of shows/appearances because of various “illnesses”. Then they were on Jimmy Fallon and he seemed like it was the last place he wanted to be. (really, they all seemed to be muddling through. except Niall, God Bless him.) So basically, I saw this coming from about a mile and a half away. I mean, there was a small chance I was wrong. But I wasn’t. Here’s another thing I’m not wrong about – One Direction is NOT breaking up. I know, I know I sound like a crazed pre-pubescent, living in denial. (or deNiall. ha!) I’ll probably look back at this post in a few months or years, or days and be totally mortified because I’m a 27 year old woman who is seriously discussing the mortality of a boy band but seriously, have you read this blog at all? It’s ripe with embarrassment.

Something that has bothered me since the announcement was made is that everyone is comparing this to the break-up of NSYNC and Spice Girls and the Backstreet Boys. Except the Backstreet Boys NEVER BROKE UP. (i really ask for it, don’t i?) Kevin left, that’s true, but they continued to make three albums after he did. Same name, no Kevin replacement, concerts both in and out of America, even a tour with New Kids on the Block. Now he’s back and they’re STILL making music. So basically, this is not a death sentence.

zayn bows

Libby also wrote about Zayn’s departure (much better than I did) so check hers out too!

The other thing that came into my mind when Facebook guilted me into posting was how excited I am that the original Teen Moms are back! I didn’t realize how much I missed them. We all know I’m a sucker for reality television and get far too attached so it really shouldn’t come as a surprise. I can’t wait to see what’s going on in the lives of

Maci, Ryyyan & Baently
Amber, Geeerry & Leah
Cate & Ty
Farrah & Sophia

And, of course, the supporting cast of Kim (Tyler’s mom), Butch (Tyler’s dad), Deborah (Farrah’s mom), and the rest. I’ve only watched the first episode so far but I could tell this is going to be good. If for no other reason then the other moms are not comfortable having Farrah back on the show, seeing as she is now a “porn star” Also, Catelynn and Tyler had beef with her on Couple’s Therapy. She’s also fighting with her mom in the previews, which is always a good time. Ryan is still an asshole. Gary may want to get back with Amber even though he’s got himself a woman. He also has her in his phone as “6 inch eyelash Portwood”, which made me giggle. Catelynn and Tyler now own a house and are planning on starting school and just found out they’re pregnant. Tyler lays down the law and tells Catelynn that he’ll go to school first, she could go in three years. I love when he gets all adult. This is going to be a great season, I could feel it.

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With all of the reality television I watch, I could say with some authority, MTV does it right.

I think that’s basically it. I made it through my first Tuesday sans Mindy. Now we wait. #renewmindy

What’s going on in your lives? What’s new and exciting?

Let’s discuss!

By the way, when you open the page to write a new post is everything a little off? My text box is all the way at the bottom of the page and it won’t expand. When I write in the text box, the sentences only go to about the middle of the box and then go to a new line. The title is still at the top. When I click on the pictures in my post, the toolbar to edit or change the justification doesn’t come up. Anyone else? Or just me?

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