90’s

2017, are you listening?

It’s Friday, so here are five things.

What better time than just past the middle of February to make a list of things I’d like to see in 2017? These aren’t resolutions, so it’s fine. Right?

2017 – I’m going to need a few things. You listening?

A new “We Didn’t Start the Fire” – I  was watching Billy Joel’s WDSTF video and thinking back to when I heard it live at Madison Square Garden. It’s one of my favorites from Bill. With all that’s going on these days and all that’s gone on since the original came out, I think it’s time for BJ to update and re-record this classic.

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A streaming service dedicated to 90’s television- ONLY 90’s television. And movies, maybe. I live in a state of nostalgia and love when I catch a good Designing Women marathon. I would readily pay my $8.99 a month to have every 90’s gem at my fingertips. No matter how obscure. the encyclopedia of 90’s sitcoms i have in my head is ridiculous. try me. I recently found out that the Hallmark Channel plays “The Father Dowling Mysteries” on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Praise be. I need a little more of that on my life. I’d even pay a little more if they threw in some commercials to the mix. WHO CAN I TALK TO ABOUT GETTING THIS OFF THE GROUND? Kickstarter?

A spinoff of The Gilmore Girls featuring only Paris Geller- Come on. We all know she was the best part of that revival (minus Jess, of course) and quite possibly the entire series. Liza Weil is being wasted on How to Get Away with Murder as Bonnie. I keep hoping she’ll snap and transform into Paris. Then I feel bad for typecasting and I power through. From what we saw in the revival, Paris has more than enough going on to make a series out of. She’s divorced, so she could navigate the dating scene or try to get back with Doyle. Will she ever be able to keep a nanny? How is she as a mom? Will she ever use the upstairs of her home? Maybe she’ll just move out of the house, hilarity and snarkiness ensues. The possibilities are endless! The spinoff would also need a little bit of Emily, the Queen of Hartford. And maybe Rory, but only if she brings Jess. Otherwise, no thanks.

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Get rid of shipping fees- I may have mentioned this here before but it bears repeating. I HATE shipping fees. And return fees. And taxes. Anyway, I just got an order in that I paid $15.99 in shipping fees for. Turns out that some items have to go back and they want to take $7.50 off my return as a return fee.

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Yea so, I would like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I never asked to be a part of. Why am I paying for you to take back things that I’ve tried on once? Isn’t it bad enough that the item doesn’t fit or just doesn’t look right?

a better way to online date – listen, online dating is what it is. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. I re-signed up for Bumble a few weeks ago and was immediately reminded of why I stopped using it in the first place. Bumble is known for having the cream of the crop men. They’re smart, good looking and have good jobs. Great. Perfect. So you swipe, swipe, swipe hoping for a BOOM. And if you’re me, the BOOM never comes. Sometimes I’ll swipe left (to reject) on someone who seems great but I know will also swipe left when my profile pops up. Why? Well, partly because my profile wasn’t filled out until recently and two, and I don’t know how to say this without word vomiting it out – most men don’t give me my body type a second look. there, i said it. And that’s cool; to each their own. I mean, I too base my swipes on the picture more than the profile sometimes (it’s natural) so maybe I should just take a seat. I just feel like there’s got to be a better way. Out of the maybe 5 BOOMs I made, two wrote back. Of those two, one just wrote back to tell me how much he hated the app. um. ok. I tried to steer the conversation in another direction – ANY other direction- and he wouldn’t bite so I gave up. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m just lonely. Maybe I’m too single. I don’t know. Short of having a dating website/app that prohibits pictures, there’s got to be a better way. Unless that way is putting on pants and leaving the house. hard NO. (i kid, i kid) Sidenote: for my fellow Bumblers – have you found “celebrities” on there? I saw the founder of Tumblr and Vinny from Jersey Shore (totes swiped right on him, tbh. no BOOM though.)

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Woo.. that went on longer than expected.

Got it, 2017? Let’s make this happen.

What would you like to see in 2017? Let’s discuss!

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the art of the music video

Being a child of the 90’s, I have a special place in my heart for music videos. They were a big deal back in the day, just ask Carson Daly. Remember Pop Up Video on VH1 and Making the Video on MTV? Those were my jams. Nothing better on a Saturday than reading all about who was coming to Melissa Ethridge’s window. It was a simpler time.

Since I am such an aficionado of these mini masterpieces, this week’s Friday Five Favorites (oh, whatever.) is going to be dedicated to my favorite music videos. spoiler alert: there will probably be more than five. you’ve been warned.

So in no particular order…


One Sweet Day – Mariah Carey & Boyz II Men: Does it get any better? I don’t see how it can. The jorts, the snap clips, the sunglasses – YAASS. Also, Mariah & Wanya 4eva.


Fantasy – Mariah Carey: Beyonce, I’mma let you finish but Mariah had the best amusement park video of all time.

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Seriously though, Mariah was the QWEEN of the 90’s. I used to watch this video and dream of the day when I could rollerblade around an amusement park singing my number one hit, just like MC. Maybe I should learn to rollerblade.
Honorable Mentions: Always Be My Baby, Forever, Heartbreaker


Bigger – Backstreet Boys: You thought I was going to go for I Want It That Way, right? While I certainly do enjoy the Boys dancing around an airport, there’s something about this video that I love. Maybe because it’s the first one I’ve seen from them since 2001? Maybe I just like the song? Whatevs.
Honorable Mentions: Everybody (Backstreet’s Back), Shape of My Heart, Just Want You To Know, basically all of them.


It’s All Coming Back To Me Now – Celine Dion: I was OB-SESSED with this video. The romance! The drama! The ghost! My tiny 10 year old heart couldn’t deal. Pepperidge Farm couldn’t make a bigger cheese ball.
Honorable Mentions: None. I think this one takes the cake.


Night Changes – One Direction: I’ve gushed about this video before. Not much has changed.
Honorable Mentions: One Way Or Another (Teenage Kicks), Best Song Ever, Story of My Life.


Thinking Out Loud – Ed Sheeran: Oh, Eddie.

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And finally…since I have six already, what’s one more?


All I Have – JLo & LL Cool J: Holy early 2000’s, Batman! This video isn’t exactly a favorite of mine but the song and the Coach luggage holds a ton of memories for me. It reeks of Glow by JLo.

What are your favorite music videos? Do you wish Making of the Video would get revived?

Let’s discuss!

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TeenieTV

I’ve signed on to check my stats maybe 3 times yesterday and they held steady at zero for 90% of the day. ouch. My solution was to post something but I was drawing a huge blank so I went to the ever reliable (for me anyway) Kludgy Mom Idea Bank and went through her hundreds of prompts and found this one:

If you had to watch one movie or television show, or listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be….and why?

I think we all know what my answer would be to that one. But only if they had constant new episodes.

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I mean… you had to see that one coming. However, no matter how much I love a show, song or movie there’s sometimes IS too much of a good thing. So to combat this, I decided that I would probably need my own television station so that there’s some variety. Probably. ha! Who am I kidding? My dream is to have my own station. Network? Empire? Eh, too far.

Running a television network is not one of my many talents, so please, if you do have experience in television excuse any non-nonsensical things that may grace this page. That being said, I’d call my network (I’ve upgraded to network because I’ve got big plans) TeenieTV, since MTV is already taken. I’d love for the channel number to be 714, but I think that’s taken as well. Hopefully the cable providers are flexible when I go in to whine negotiate.

My channel would be an eclectic mix of old and new. I love a good 90’s sitcom so many of those would be on rotation. The Golden Girls, The Golden Palace, Designing Women, ALF, any and all of the TGIF lineup, etc. Then I would have Primetime shows like The Mindy Project, The Middle, Once Upon a Time, Jane the Virgin, Chasing Life, Blue Bloods, all the shows that frequent my DVR. I also love a good 90’s dramedy so Sisters, Providence, ER, etc would also have a spot. Finally, shows that I loved but were got cancelled would have a place too. Come on over Gossip Girl (which I know technically wasn’t cancelled but the last two-ish seasons sucked so I need some more seasons to rectify this situation),Emily Owens, MD, and Red Band Society. I’d throw some movies on there too. Mostly rom-coms and Disney. Ugh. there aren’t enough hours in a day or days in a week.

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umm.. apparently

For the kids, I would have TeenieToons which would be all NickToons and Disney shows from, you guessed it, the 90’s. Was there a better time for children’s programming? I DON’T THINK SO.

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I’d have my own reality show called RealaTEE (like reality. sometimes i even impress myself). My life is probably not exciting enough for a show but my network, my rules. Also, I need a place to put all of my favorite reality shows that have been cancelled. Growing Up Gotti, Rich Girls, Sorority Life, My Super Sweet 16, Scrappers, Brooklyn 11223. And if any of these shows wanted to come back, they would have a home on the RealaTEE channel. this is embarrassing.

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Since I upgraded to a network and also love YouTube, I would add TeenieTube to the channel listing. This would be where I would offer my favorite Youtubers their own shows. Basically, professionally filmed and edited vlogs and how-to videos. I would ask The Schuermans, Benji and Judy, Anna and Jonathan, Nicola Foti, Louise, Marie, Lori, Joseph Birdsong, Miranda Sings among others to have a show on my network. i can’t believe i’m admitting to how long i sit in front of some sort of screen. #judgementfreezone.

Finally, I’d add TeenieTunes. It would be like an MTV Hits kind of station except it would play whatever is on my Spotify playlist. And I’m sure you could guess what’s on there. Death Metal – tons of it.

Now that I’ve embarrassed myself with the amount of TV I watch I guess I could end it here.

What show could you watch endlessly? Would you watch TeenieTV? I’m thinking it’s a pretty niche market. What shows would you put on your TV station?

Let’s discuss!

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