here comes 30

In a month from Wednesday, I’ll be 30.

30

Holy hell. That was a fast 3 decades.

I’ve been feeling my age lately, like my mind and body are already making the transition to this new phase of life. Today I’m going to talk about them so that you can comment down below and tell me you’re experiencing the same things and I could sigh, wipe my brow and think “woooo, it’s not just me”.

Everything hurts

Last month, I got up off my couch, turned to pick up my phone and couldn’t straighten up. I swear I saw stars. It was the worst.  It took about two weeks to feel normal again. I am gearing up for a trip to San Francisco (7 more days!) and I was talking to my mom about needing to buy a bottle of Advil to have, just in case. I also take Naproxen after a long day of walking so that my feet/ankles don’t swell. I mean, I think that sums it up. Prescription drugs and swollen feet after too much walking. In case that wasn’t enough,  my mom asked how many Naproxen I’d need. “10? Figure 3 a day?”

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No, Mom. I don’t need THREE a DAY.

I’m emotional

If I said it once, I’ve said it a million times. I’m not a big cryer. And to a degree, I’m still not. But lately, I’ll be scrolling through Facebook and a video will pop up and automatically start so, of course, I have to sit and watch it, and by the end, my eyes are brimming with tears. So, maybe not a full-on sobfest, but still more than a young twenty-something Martina would give. Last week I was on my lunch break and I was watching one where it was the events of the day from the mom’s point of view vs. the daughter’s. The mom was telling the cable repair guy how frazzled she was (sidenote: when people like the cable guy are asking how your day is going, they don’t really care. Don’t give him every detail, lady), how the kids were crazy, she can’t get anything done, etc. Then, the father is tucking the daughter into bed and asks her how her day was she tells him it was the best day ever! and how mommy played with them! and she loves her brother so much! Well, if I wasn’t a weeping ball of mush. Thank God I eat lunch alone. I sat there ugly crying over this 2-minute video. I’m actually getting choked up thinking about it right now.

My internal clock is set

It only took 29 years but now I can wake up without my roommate mom coming into my room to give me a good shake. #proud I truly wish I could pretend that I’m ashamed that it took that long, but honestly, I’m just not.

I have chin hairs

Lots of them. I’m not talking about cute peach fuzz like every other normal person. I mean there are 4 in particular that I can hold and cut with a scissor. Or play with all day, as is the case. To make it worse, they’re not all in the same spot so it feels like they’re taking over.

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I see Harry Styles as a true artist now and not just the British sexpot he used to be

Ok, that’s a lie. Have you seen his Carpool Harryoke with James Corden? Harry doing Lionel Richie better than Lionel Richie? Harry doing Julia Roberts better than Julia Roberts? YES PLEASE.

For real though, his album is a must listen. He’s got talent, that kid.

Did I talk about this already? Eh. Blame it on 30.

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