2019: in review

it’s new years eve (well, it was when i started this) and i’ve been putting off writing this post for about a week. not for any reason except i’m lazy and i’ve been sick so staying up and paying attention has been hard.

i love the idea of a new year. i tend to get a high on the hope that things are going to change. new adventures! new opportunities! then, by the second week of the year, i come off that high and reality sets in.

since i have this blog – that i just now realized i missed its 6th birthday. holy shit. GET IT TOGETHER, MARTINA. YOU HAVE LITERALLY ONE JOB. anyway, since i have this blog, i have the opportunity to do a detailed year in review. again, i love things like this. they show where you’ve come from, what you’ve done (or didn’t do), and who was with you through it all. it’s kind of sad, kind of happy. bittersweet.

starting off with a bang – in january, christopher, aka spitz, aka chrissy two chains made jessica and her husband parents and me an aunt. the first time i met him he farted and spit up all over me. the second time i met him, a week later, i got him to burp so big he vibrated. i can’t wait to tell all of his friends these stories.

in march, nicole and i schlepped out to staten island to see the impractical jokers exhibit at the staten island museum. this is a big deal because driving is not my favorite thing to do let alone driving over the verazzano bridge. it was only my second time making the drive out there and although it’s not a big deal for most, i’m proud of myself. blazing trails!

speaking of driving and trailblazing, in july, nicole and i went on a staycation to my family’s house on the jersey shore. i drove all the way down there and had exactly zero meltdowns about it. again, not a big deal for most, but a huge deal for me. we (nicole) shopped, i grilled (maybe never again). all in all we had a great few days and i can’t wait to do it again. it was also the first time i noticed my collarbone in photos.

july also brought me to my 32nd year. i always thought 32 was THE year. i’ve spoken about this before, but it was always my adult year. the year that it all comes together. i’ll have it all figured out by 32. boy, was i wrong. i have a few months left of 32 and anything can happen, but here’s hoping 33 brings the magic.

august was a big month for me. christopher not only got baptized but also got a new nickname. on that day, chrissy two chains was born. the following week, nicole and her boyfriend, patrick got engaged. the week after that i went to a backstreet boys concert and fell in love all over again. break my heart? they’ll never! i rounded out the month with one of my favorite summer things – a block parties. i’m still recovering from august.

the block party that i very loosely threw together happened on the hottest day of the year in july. i had a touch of heat stroke but persevered and not only enjoyed my block party, i was able to celebrate my uncle’s 65th birthday.

something i never thought would happen in september happened and that was meeting my internet bestie, IRL. who would have thought? not i! libby was in nyc for business and we were not going to let this opportunity pass. we did the village; i played bumbling tour guide. it was fun and not at all embarrassing that i almost got us lost 5 times. nbd. hopefully 2020 brings a trip north for me or another trip south for her. or maybe even a meet in the middle type of trip. or not, because i’m not sure where that would leave us. geography is not my strong point.

in october, my family celebrated my aunt roe and uncle phil’s 50th wedding anniversary. i said it better in my instagram post from that night, but i can’t imagine being with someone for 50 minutes, let alone 50 years. it is so evident how much they still love each other and how loved they are by everyone around them.

nicole and her fiance, patrick held an engagement brunch in november. it happened to be on the same day as my aunt’s 60th birthday party. juggling two parties in one day? look at me – a social queen. i spent the day with all of my most favorite people and great food. who has it better than me?

i tried to make efforts to branch out in 2019. try new things! have new experiences! that seems to be the biggest piece of advice any and everyone can give when i start to complain that i’m lonely. like, immediately the first thing that i hear is always “have you tried finding things you like to do?” gee, that’s an idea. one that’s NEVER crossed my mind. hm.

all of that being said, in may i signed myself up for a tour of central park. from a networking standpoint it was a bit of a fail. i could point the finger on myself, seeing as i hate small talk and was just super uncomfortable. from a creative standpoint it was great. i brought my camera with me got some great golden hour shots, if i do say so myself.

i really tried opening my mind to new things this year. some may call it desperation. i’d call it… circling the desperation drain. what kind of event could i go to where i’d be exposed to literally thousands of people and probably not interact with not even one of them? in april nicole and i went to the auto show at the javits center. i fell in love with a maserati, range rover and a kia sportage but that was about it.

this october we ushered in my cousin jill’s 30th year and chase’s 4th. in another attempt at being in a place i normally wouldn’t be to “get out there” but also have a good time with my favorite people, i went to medieval times with my cousins and some friends to celebrate my cousin matt’s 36th birthday. regrettably, i did not find my knight in shining armor.

closer to the beginning of the year, maybe march or april, my internet bestie/fairy blogmother, libby (as pictured above) told me about a campaign she was putting together for Yahoo Style Canada and asked me if i wanted to write something to be a part of it. it took all of 4 seconds for me to say yes. the campaign went live in october. it was so exciting to see me – my pictures, my writing, my story on somewhere other than here. to know that more than a handful of people will read it. terrifying yet so exciting. i haven’t asked for specifics but i’m told it was a hit*, so i’m going to assume that people other than my aunt, a few of my cousins and a handful of friends and acquaintances clicked over. click here or the photo below to read, if you’re interested.

*relative term.

the littlest celebrity of the family was baptized in may. such a star that little one.

i was never the biggest fan of children, but 2019 threw me to the wolves. kids are ok- they just ask lots of questions, they are poop machines and sometimes they’re tiny assholes. also, they’re inexplicably sticky. this year has helped me work through my issues with tiny humans and it couldn’t have come at a better time. not only do i have chase and victoria and christopher to enjoy, vinny and lisamarie are expanding the crew with little enzo. aunt martina’s little meatball. in november we celebrated him and his mama (and vinny) with a sip and paint baby shower. bob ross who?

to round out the year, december was a whirlwind of holiday things and victoria turning one. our family got the best christmas gift when jill and her husband, nestor announced that they are expecting. more babies! and since i’m getting to be a such natural with children, i couldn’t be more excited.

did i miss a few things? i’m sure i did.

my hopes and wishes and goals for 2020 are what they always are:

to keep up with my weight loss. i have had more non-scale victories than i can count so far. i’d love to have more. i am laser focused on hitting 100 pounds down/being in one-derland.

work on being positive and not let my anxiety bring me down. everytime someone tells me to “put [your]self out there” i get so angry and then i spiral into a FUCK ALL OF THIS. ALL OF IT! WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME ANYTHING? I’M GOING TO BE ALONE AND I’M GOING TO LIKE IT mindset. it is so unbelievably fun and healthy, i wish i could bottle up the feeling and sell it. this year, i’m going to try not to let it get to me. just go with the flow. and if* i happen to prove myself right and “getting out there” bears no fruit, i will at least have a myriad of experiences to keep me warm at night. also, i will be allowed to flip off anyone who tells me, with earnesty and fake concern, to “get out there more.”

how’s that for positivity?

*i say IF because getting out there might be just the ticket to meeting someone. at this point, i can’t see it happening, but there’s always a chance, right? #POSITIVITYFORTHEWIN

i hope we get some really good television and movies this year. some of my favorites are ending and i need to find replacements. there are far too many streaming services with exclusive content out there to not be able to find my next television obsession.

i would like to make more money. i like my job and don’t want to look for a new one, but if the PERFECT opportunity came up, who am i to turn it down?

to be present without putting down my phone, to read more, to be grateful for what and who i have, to keep my creative juices flowing, to not get annoyed so quickly, to clean my room and to keep it clean, to stop shopping unnecessarily, to find a signature fragrance.

Tagged , , ,