it’s streaming season, bitches!

who am i kidding? it’s always streaming season. but, with winter in full swing and our current favorites still on hiatus, we’re all hunkering down ready to dive head first into a *insert streaming service here* binge.

that’s my favorite kind of diving, tbh.

but what about the shows that didn’t make it? the ones that were never given a chance to shine? the ones that were loved and lost.

in this attempt to make this a viable blog and creative outlet, i will now list the television shows that were given a raw deal. plus a few others that should be available to stream, but unfortunately are not.

note: i’m almost 100% certain that i’ve written this post before. the shows will most likely be the same. if you don’t care, then i don’t care. but if you do care, why are you here? this is what i do.

shows that never got a chance

Emily Owens, MD: this show was so cute. first of all, Meryl Streep’s daughter, AKA my sister, Mamie Gummer was the show’s namesake. second, it was a typical CW feel good show. the CW has gotten kinda dark lately, and frankly, i am not here for it. anyway, this show introduced me to Justin Hartley. you know – KEVIN PEARSON. only my 2.5th favorite Pearson. Nicky being numero uno and Jack being the first half of my second. this show is also where Maggie Pierce (Kelly McCreary) did her internship. that’s how it works, right? i just really miss the show and think it could have done really well, if given the chance. it’s not available to stream but if there were a petition to get it on some service, consider it signed.

Hindsight: i actually DID sign a petition to have this show saved by either another network or streaming service, but as i always say – NOBODY LISTENS TO ME. this one was on VH1 and was about a woman nearing 40(? that was never really clear) who somehow was transported back to her life in her 20’s, IN THE 90’s. i truly sometimes feel like i’m someone from the 90’s trapped in 2019 (or whatever year you’re reading this in). there was a little of everything. a friendship story line, a dicky boyfriend story line, a possible drug overdose death, a full cream kitchen in a huge and beautiful (v. 90’s) NYC apartment, phones with cords, SCRUNCHIES. also, the main character’s best friend’s name is Lolly, which is favorite hipster/new age girl’s name. ugh. i can’t talk about it anymore. i get too upset. this one is also not available for streaming and it kills me every time i check to see if i missed it. i could buy the episodes separately, but without hope for ever getting a season two, why should i torture myself?

Made in Jersey: this show follows newly appointed lawyer, Martina (WHAAAAAAT?) Garetti as she starts her law career. she’s also italian from jersey so there’s lots of family involved, including her mom, Darlene. that happens to be MY mom’s name also (i know, WHAAAAAAT? right?). what are the odds? if that’s not some gatsby green light shit then i don’t know what is (obviously). again, this one is also unavailable to stream, but i can buy the episodes. i might, for the name factor alone. sidenote: martina (the fictional one) is played by janet montgomery who is now killing it on new amsterdam as dr. bloom. consider this my battle cry to make dr. bloom and dr. reynolds endgame. martina (fictional and non-fictional) needs a win.

shows that should have never ended

oh boy. i could go on forever with this list. let’s get in to it.

The Mindy Project: you knew this was coming; best to just get it out of the way. if we could delete most of season 4 and all of season 5 and the part of season 6 that danny was’t in, this show could have went on forever, in my opinion. who cares that actors don’t want to play the same role forever? not me!

Schitt’s Creek: technically this show hasn’t ended yet but we’re a few weeks from the final season’s premier and i’m freaking out about it. i am currently catching up on the series because i am a late-comer to it and i’m not sure what i was waiting for. i am in love with david rose the character and dan levy the actor/showrunner/creator/genius. it’s quirky and definitely not for some, but so funny. i very rarely literally LOL when watching television by myself. this show has made me giggle audibly a few times. it’s also made me swoon – hard. season 2 episode 13 will go down as the best scene in television history in my book. maybe even better than when chuck and blair crash the bar mitzvah (gossip girl, season 4.. maybe 5). also, “you’re my mariah carey”. i want to be someone’s mariah carey. PLEASE LET ME BE SOMEONE’S MARIAH CAREY.

Providence: is this one of the more obscure shows i like to obsess over? probably. this was a late 90’s/early 2000’s vehicle that brought us the hansen family of providence, rhode island. the family is reeling after losing their matriarch. syd, plastic surgeon of the stars, comes home to work in the local clinic (i’m not sure why. if it was because of mom or because she had a malpractice case against her. it may have been a bad break up. i don’t remember and because i can’t stream it – I GUESS I’LL NEVER KNOW). little sister (but still an adult) janie gets pregnant and, if i remember correctly, goes into labor on her wedding day, which is also the day the mom dies. dad is trying to hold it all together. his family, his vet practice. he’s got a lot going on. then there’s robbie. that leather jacket wearing, gelled haired rebel. typical robbie. this show has a very 90’s feel but that’s probably because that’s where it comes from. and probably why i miss it so much.

i could probably list another 100 shows in this category, but i have christmas presents to wrap so we’re going to move on.

shows that should be streaming, but aren’t

i know i mentioned that the first three shows i listed were only available to stream if i chose to purchase them but these are not available at all save for maybe some grainy, jumpy youtube videos.

Rich Girls: an MTV classic. this show followed the ali, daughter of tommy hilfiger and her friend jaime who was rich, but i’m not sure how or why. the friend now lives on the upper west side and is a psychotherapist. i wonder if she’s taking on new clients. asking for a friend. they were two typical teenage idiots, bopping around lower upper manhattan and the hamptons in the summer of 2003. footage included the huge blackout of the entire east coast in august and a particularly enlightening poolside chat where jaime boasted that benjamin franklin was born on her birthday. in that case, she looked damn good for being 200+ years old. the summer of 2003 was one of my most favorite summers so anything that reminds me/takes me back to that time is a win in my book.

Sorority Life: another MTV gem. this show was about girls trying to get into a sorority and the drama that ensued. it taught me so much about the college experience. i remember one moment where one of the girls was on the phone crying to her mother that she was being treated poorly. “and next year, i have to PAY to get treated like this!” she wailed. it was in that moment that i realized that if she was going to pay for people to treat her like garbage, why was i letting it happen to me for free? who’s the idiot? i could have been rich! i decided then and there to never join a sorority. then i wound up going to a school who didn’t have one until my last year and by then i could really not care less about that nonsense. especially when i overheard some of the rushes memorizing the names and addresses of the senior members for some challenge or whatever. i rolled my eyes so hard they haven’t rolled back yet.

Growing Up Gotti: ok, this show doesn’t fit into this category anymore, as it is available on amazon prime, but it did fit the bill for a very long time and i missed it immensely. like every other teenage girl in america (or maybe just the new york/tristate area, i don’t know) in 2004, i was gaga for gotti. my family lives near their grandmother in queens so i would always hope for a glimpse of those over gelled spikes. i had daydreams about screaming “who used my gel!?” or “you wanna see how crazy i am? i’ll show you how crazy i am!” at them which would make them fall in love with me. i liked john, but would take carmine in a pinch. i knew someone who’s boyfriend was vaguely related to them and she gave my number to one of their friends. we spoke on the phone once and that was the thrill of my summer. i saw victoria’s brother in target’s parking lot a few years ago and you’d think i saw *insert a minus to b list celebrity here*. we locked eyes and he knew that i knew who he was. he’s just lucky i was able to contain myself and not say “hey peter, tell your sister to release the show!” or maybe i was the lucky one.

True Life: I’m Getting Married (2002 or 2003): i can’t find this episode EHH. NEE. WHERE. anywhere. which is odd, because i would go out on a limb and say that it is probably the most famous episode in true life history. definitely top 5. charlie and sabrina got married in the same church my parents did and had their reception where i had my 8th grade prom. we’re practically family. i’ve heard, through my many google searches of this episode that dan and buria are still together and have 3 children. unfortunately, i read somewhere that the gay couple, whose names i cannot for the life of me remember, broke up. i was sad when i found out; they were so cute with their matching versace undies. i really enjoyed them. trailblazers for the time, if you ask me!

shows that need to be protected at all costs

Mom: allison janney is a queen and i have loved her since her stint in miracle on 34th street (1994) when she pulled ms. walker’s partner in crime off to the side and said, “Tell your Santa Claus he made a Cole’s shopper out of me. Any store that puts the parent ahead of the almighty buck at Christmas deserves my business. I’m coming here for everything but toilet paper and bananas.” she SINGLE-HANDEDLY saved santa’s job and for that i STAN. mom is another show that has made me LOL, alone in my room, on my bed with my computer on my chest. it also is so real and (what i believe to be) an accurate representation of recovery and going through it. working the program and dealing with sober life as it hurls itself at you.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel: yet another show that has made me LOL, which i swear i don’t do often when it comes to watching television. i’m not the biggest fan of midge’s but her father, played by tony shalboub and her manager, susie, played by alex borstein have my heart. she’s got a love interest in zachary levi who is a TAAALLLL drink of water. much appreciated. it’s set in the late 50’s so there’s beautiful clothes and even more beautiful upper west side apartments. literally to DIE for.

The Resident: i watch grey’s anatomy and i like grey’s anatomy but i reeeally like the resident. conrad (matt czruchy) and his razor sharp jaw won me over from episode one. i truly like everyone in the cast (some more than others), which is super rare for me. it all just works.

This is Us: i wasn’t going to mention this one but i feel like i have to. the pearsons hooked me and reeled me all the way in. i see where the show is ridiculous but i can’t ignore the soft spot in my heart that i wasn’t sure i had for this family and their dysfunction. hurry up, new season! i have questions i need answered!

so, that was alot.

i’m going to wrap some presents now and find something to watch.

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