martina is losing it #28 – talking turkey

Even though Thanksgiving is over, let’s talk turkey, shall we?

Last year was my first year on WW and also the first year that my mom decided to cater the meal, or most of it, anyway. We ordered from Boston Market and man do I love me those sides. I was hyper-aware of what I was eating and I’m pretty sure that I tracked the whole meal. This year, we catered, but not from Boston Market. This year our meal came from Fairway, which, sidenote: I fully recommend. Not so much the gravy, but everything else was great.

This year was also different because I wound up making myself a plate of only sides. I had no turkey and no ham. I don’t really like either so I decided to just cut them from the equation. I tried to be extra cognizant of how much I put on my plate and unless my memory is playing tricks on me, I made my plate once and didn’t go back for seconds, which I’m proud of.

What I’m not proud of and what I was afraid of was the aftermath. This year having the leftovers in the house killed me. Frankly, I would have either thrown them all out or forced them all on family, but I have roommates live with my parents and I couldn’t just do that, you know?

My willpower got a workout this weekend. For the most part, I abstained but those little bites and tastes add up. I tracked to the best of my ability and I’m thinking that maybe I should wipe out my weeklies but since I weigh in tomorrow (today as you’re reading this), does it matter? The damage is done (or not).

I had a big gain at my last weigh-in. Like, a really big one. I gained 2.3 pounds last week but then Aunt Flo came the next day. So I’m hoping that I at least lose most, if not all of that gain. Do I feel like I did? Yea. But have I done anything to make sure it comes off/ help me keep the holiday weight at bay? No, save for getting over 10,000 steps on Friday.

I think the reason I’ve been so remiss about blogging and updating the internet with witty weight loss anecdotes is that, frankly, I’m doing well but not well enough (for me). I’ve lost over 90 pounds, even with that gain last week. That’s amazing and I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand how big that is. Like, I get it but I don’t get it. I looked over my progress list in my WW app and I haven’t seen my lowest recorded weight since September. I could say I’ve been busy, which I have. I could blame the changing weather and Daylight Savings, which I will. I could blame Aunt Flo, which I will never hesitate to do, but every week? I could cry plateau. I could say I’ve just gotten a little lax, which is also true. I think the fear of gaining it all back will power me through plateaus and laziness because that fear is strong and nagging.

That being said, there would be no way I would have survived if I were not where I am now, weight-wise. The up and down of the steps (my house is minuscule but it still has a second floor and a basement.) The cleaning before the holiday. The preparing/heating the food. The cleaning up after. Not to mention the mental gymnastics of regular holiday anxiety. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that I had 90 less pounds to worry about.

I had my regular camera out on Thanksgiving and my 4-year-old cousin found it. He asked if he could take pictures (after he asked me what it was. ugh. mah heart. ). I warned him that if he dropped the camera, Santa would find out and be extremely disappointed. Also, I’d kill him. (i didn’t really say those things, but i thought about it.) After a quick lesson, we were off and snapping. We? you ask. Did you think I’d let a 4-year-old play with an $800 camera all willy nilly? Heck no. I put his shadow to shame and was on him like white on rice. The point of this was to say that he took some pictures of me and for the first time, I looked at them and said “that’s me”.

me and my tiny protege.

I’ve been having a hard time lately recognizing myself in pictures. Obviously, I know I’m there, but it takes a second to believe it’s really me.

i didn’t immediately recognize myself in this picture.
it took a tight sleeve to make it appear this way, but when did my arm get so thin?
dress from amazon, could you believe?

I went to a baby shower for Vinny and Lisamarie a few weeks ago. It was at a paint and sip place. They had aprons for us to wear. Not only did the apron fit, but I was also able to tie it in the back and bring it around and tie it in the front. WHO AM I?

note the bow i tied, dead center ^^ of the apron.

I watched Brittany Runs a Marathon on Amazon over the weekend. Besides the running and kind of being overly miserable (I’d have to watch again, but quite frankly, although I liked the movie, I didn’t like Brittany so much.) and the love interest – this could have been a movie about me. I saw so much of myself in Brittany. As I’m writing this, I realize that even though I’m not a runner and have little interest in doing anything with the NYC marathon, I walked almost 4 miles in Friday and have mentioned more than once to Nicole that I’m willing to do either a 3 or 5k. huh. CALL A PRIEST. I MUST BE POSSESSED. I even teared up at the end (definitely possessed). 100% recommend.

To finish up – on a non-weight loss related note, I started to watch Schitt’s Creek. I am very much enjoying it and enjoying Dan Levy more. Like I need another celebrity boyfriend. i know he’s gay. whaddya gonna do?

I guess that’s it. Until next time, my loves.

Love you, mean it.

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