martina is losing it #24

Here I am again and this time I’m prepared. I checked my last post to see where I left off. I usually just guess and hope I’m not repeating myself, which would be nothing new.

When we last spoke, I had briefly hit the 80-pound mark. Last Thursweigh brought a 1.5-pound loss so we’re back in the 80-pound range and we’re .1 pounds down from my lowest weight. Also, I had a kind of off the rails dinner on Saturday and, even though they say to track and move on, when I have melted butter all over my garlic mashed potatoes for the first time in over a year, I can’t just move on. I cheated this morning and hopped on the scale and so far, I’m down a whole pound. I’m taking it with a grain of salt since it’s only Monday (as I write this) and anything can happen between now and Thursday. Things like going to the diner, ready to “splurge” 5 points on a Kaiser roll so I could have an egg and cheese sandwich for dinner, asking for egg and ONE slice of cheese on a roll and being presented with egg and THREE slices of cheese. I tracked it and am moving on. It cost me 7 points instead of 2. I really want a Built Bar but, kitchen’s closed.

Speaking of my cheat dinner, we were invited to my father’s cousin’s birthday party. I love any event where I could put an outfit together and feel pretty. I don’t do my makeup much anymore and I feel like I’ve gotten rusty so, in that respect, I wasn’t the most confident. However, my outfit was a strong YES.

Forgive my face, I look like I’m trying not to shit my pants. Also, remember a few months ago when I said I felt like my face looked deflated? I have crow’s feet now. Sure, I’m just over a month from 32, but they’re unnecessary. And rude. Dress is from Old Navy and is an XXL. woop woop.

I don’t have any other NSVs for this post except that I’m starting to accept and believe that this is all happening. I’ve finally wrapped my head around the fact that I’ve lost at least 30 pounds. I know I’ve lost much more than that, but my head has only caught up to 30, if that makes sense. It’s been 14 months, which is kind of a long time, but it went so fast, as time does, so it feels like this is happening at warp speed. Like, they say this takes time, which is why I was always so hesitant to start because I wanted results instantly, but here we are, 14 short months later, and I’m a whole new person. I also feel… narrow…? I feel like I have a shape other than round. I’m not saying I’m a Marilyn Monroe vixen, but I feel like there’s a curve to my waist. You know, in instead of out.

And now for the REAL reason I came to post today. I’ve said it before that I am an online only member and instead of using the Connect portion of the app, I rely heavily on Instagram and the WW community over there. Over the weekend, the WW Instagram community suffered a huge loss. Evan aka @throughevanseyes passed away Saturday night. I follow Evan and thoroughly enjoyed his posts. His posts were always so encouraging and positive, even when he was struggling on his own journey. He recently hit his 100-pound mark and I remember feeling so happy for him. A person I didn’t even know! That’s what’s so amazing about this community. He was so excited about it too, naturally, and that made me even happier for him. I am so sad. It hits close to home because he was from Long Island, so for all intents and purposes, he was my neighbor. I was beyond shocked when I saw the news. He seemed like such a great person and his presence in the community will be sorely missed. Rest in Peace, Evan.

 

 

Ok, that’s all I have for today.

Love you, mean it.

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