martina is losing it #22

I’m writing this on Easter Sunday, about 3ish weeks since my last update. I’d say that’s nothing short of a miracle. April has not been the best month, it’s been pretty shitty, frankly. I had two very little losses and one big 1.3 lbs – which is big for me) gain. A loss is a loss, as I find myself repeating and hopefully next Thursweigh will be better. Still in all, I’m down a total of 76.3 pounds, which is only .3 off of my lowest weight. So, still not too shabby.

I’ve talked about my theory on why men lose weight faster and, in my opinion, more consistently than women. Which is, in case you’ve forgotten, Aunt Flo. This month, good ol’ Auntie has made two visits. She left on the 10th, only to re-appear on the 20th. I know that weight loss/gain greatly affects her visits but this is concerning. She came twice in February also, which I chalked up to February being a short, weird month. Either way, it’s time to get checked because I can’t have her screwing me up for two weeks, twice a month.

Now, on to more exciting things.

Remember how I said that no one at work knew about any of this? Last week, I noticed my co-worker looking me up and down when I was getting something from her desk. “Have you lost weight?” Taken by surprise I just nodded and whispered a quick “yea, some.”

Later, that same day, my boss stopped in and we were talking about losing weight and I pretended to be totally engrossed in the invoice I was making. Quickbooks, man. What a thrill. I happened to look up and he said: “You’ve lost weight.” Me: ::nods:: “I’d say between 50 and 75 pounds…?” Me: ::blushes:: “uh, yea”. ::blushes uncontrollably::

So, there goes the cat, right out of the bag. We had a birthday in the office last week and when cake was being handed out, my boss’ wife asked if I wanted any. I said I would take the smallest sliver, to taste (like I don’t know what cake tastes like) so she shared a piece with me, which I truly appreciated, even though I ate the little bit of frosting off the top and wound up throwing the rest away anyway.

Ok, now I need you to put your listening ears on. Sit down because this one is big.

I WAS ABLE TO WEAR A JACKET TIED AROUND MY WAIST LIKE THE 90’S QUEEN I AM.

We all know I live for a 90’s moment, so when I was out and about, and wearing a jacket that turned out to be unnecessary – what was I to do? Sweat and be miserable? No, no, no, my friends. I swiftly removed that puppy and wrapped the arms around my waist (sometimes when you want arms around you, you just have to do it yourself ba dum dum) and made a knot.

AND IT STAYED.

Didn’t even unravel once.

And, before you’re like lol, get with the times, you fashion idiot. Just know – I don’t care what you think. Also, I AM BRINGING FANNY PACKS BACK THIS SUMMER, SO HELP ME GOD.

I have to get ready now for my family’s Easter festivities. I’m planning on wearing a size 14/16 shirt – another miracle.

Just a little housekeeping – I was browsing through my local 5Below and I found a book called “2000 Questions about Me”. My plan is to use it for blog ideas. Maybe I’ll make a series or something. We’ll see. We all know how my best laid plans go.

See you in my next update.

Love you, mean it.

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