….aaand we’re back.

Hello? Is this thing on?

It’s been so long I’ve almost forgotten how to do any of this. But we’re here and we are thriving. I know that when blogs that aren’t weight loss blogs (or that are, whatever) don’t give an update in a while, it usually means the writer/loser had fallen off the wagon or is too busy being on billboards in Times Square.

I have not done either, but I should be on a billboard. Because, friends, -sit down for this unless you’re ready, which I don’t think you are-  I am down a total of 76.7 pounds.

SEVENTY-SIX POINT SEVEN POUNDS

I hit 75 pounds last week but I was a little nervous to say anything because if I couldn’t/didn’t maintain that loss the next week, I’d feel like a fraud. A hack! It happened before with another milestone weight and didn’t want to do that again. That, and I’m lazy. Like always – a little nervous and a little lazy.

Speaking of being lazy, as you may know, I’ve lost all of this weight without placing a foot inside of a gym. They scare me and I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for them. I’ve thought about it, but it never feels right. I will probably have to revisit that thought soon, but for now – I’m good. That being said, the weather is finally getting nicer and I need to gain some activity points somehow. I’ve began to take advantage of the fact that my neighborhood is not just named after a park. If I’m walking by myself, I’ll do two times around the walking path and drive home. If I’m with someone, I prefer to walk there, do two times around and then walk home. Doing it solo, I can usually get in just under 2 miles. When I have a buddy (usually Nicole), I can log almost 4. THAT.IS.CRAZY.TO.ME.

Could you even? Because I can’t even.

I went on a spur of the moment shopping trip last week. I wasn’t planning on wandering through JCPenney, yet there I was. I took a stroll through the straight sizes and wound up finding a few things for the dressing room. Like Old Navy, the tee shirts I tried fit fine. I brought in a shirt that ties at the bottom. I got it on and it looked OK, but it was too short and too tight at the bottom. sidenote: that style of shirt was basically all that was offered. tie bottom and stripes and embroidered. cool, but kind of boring. Lastly, I tried a top that screams summer, both striped and embroidered. I’m pretty sure it;s made of linen but I could definitely be wrong. It’s one of those non-stretchy fabrics. If I HAD to wear it tomorrow, I could. The sleeves are a teeny bit tight but nothing uncomfortable. WE ARE MAKING PROGRESS, MY FRIENDS. I found a 90’s inspired pastel windbreaker and I am in love. It may or may not be a juniors XL/XXL, which is also a win. I say may or may not because I’m really not sure. It was amongst a bunch of crop tops and poom poom shorts but what do I know?

I didn’t try on any pants because I don’t feel like I’m ready for them yet. I saw some shorts I really liked, but I didn’t feel like taking my pants off and trying on pants is generally hell on Earth for me so I just decided to avoid it.

It’s been said a million times in a million ways, some on this very blog, but sizing in women’s clothing is atrocious. How can I fit into a 2X plus size, but also an XXL straight? Why is it the same? Is it the same? HOW? But 76.7 pounds ago, my left arm wouldn’t fit into an XXL? Maybe I just stuck to what I knew as far as shopping and never strayed from the plus sizes, assuming that there was no way a straight size would fit? Get it together, fashun.

I went for a haircut yesterday and I noticed that getting my hair washed was far less uncomfortable than usual. At first I thought maybe my place got new chairs but then I realized that my lower back didn’t hurt when I got up and when she was rinsing the bottom back of my head, I wasn’t doing the this is uncomfortable, how much longer muscle shake. So, maybe it wasn’t a new chair.

Update on my collarbones that I keep calling clavicles: I still can’t see them if my shoulder isn’t in the right position, but I could feel them riiiiight under my skin. As opposed to hinding under a layer of fat. I’m going to go out on a limb and give it another 10 pounds and I won’t have to flex like a bodybuilder to see them. I do that more often than what’s probably normal because, not to be annoying, but as much as my jawline has become defined, there are times when I look at myself and I’m like “Ursula, is that you?” (in my chin only)

Aaaand for my finaaaaleee…

I am an online only member. For a while, only in person members were rewarded physical milestone charms. Online members get them on their account or through the app. They’re nice to see but I’m a tangible kind of person. Fortunately, with the Weight Watchers to WW rebrand came the ability for online members to go into a studio and pick up your milestone charms. This weekend I did just that.

I found a studio near me and explained the situation. They asked me which ones I needed and with a big smile, the leader went to the back and grabbed not only the 50 and 75 pound charms that I has asked for, but all of them. I was going to put them on a bracelet, but the 5 pound charm came with the key ring that they’re supposed to go on so I’m glad she included that. Since I was in the studio and wanted to try some of their snacks, I perused the selection (I picked up chocolate caramel squares, which are delish and the chocolate chip oat cookies, which I haven’t tried yet) and went up to the desk to pay for my things. I asked, just in case because with my luck…., if I owed them anything for the charms and the receptionist said “No! You’ve earned them!”

This has been Martina’s monthly update. *insert promises to not dilly dally next time*

Love you, mean it.