martina is losing it #20

I know, it’s been forever since I last updated everyone. Unless you saw my latest instagram post. If you did, then just act surprised.

Three weigh-ins ago, I lost 4.1 pounds, which at the time put me at 70 pounds down. Like, 70 on the nose. I know, crazy. I was guardedly optimistic. I’m still in awe of it all and it still doesn’t seem real. It’s almost a year so I don’t know what’s going on. Anyway, I wanted to wait a week and see which way the scale went. At the next weigh-in, the scale betrayed me and skyrocketed up 4.4 pounds.

Rude. RUUUUUUUUDEEEEE. I was really upset. I had played by the rules. This was not supposed to happen. I was supposed to be down at least 70 pounds. I made an instagram collage and everything! Friday morning, I did my business and hopped back on the scale. I was down three point something-ish pounds, making my total loss/gain for the week +.6 pounds. Then I did something I’ve never done before.

I changed my weight in the app.

Yep. I never did that before because I feel like it’s cheating but here’s the thing – how could it be humanly possible to be up 4.4 pounds one day and then down so much the next? And, if you read my last update, this isn’t the first time this has happened. I think that justifies the “cheat”. Will I do it again? I really don’t know. It’s not like I weighed in later in the day instead of in the morning, you know?

This weigh in was one of the ones where I felt like I was down, but I wasn’t 100% sure. After the shock of the previous Thursweigh I wasn’t going to get my hopes up. My skepticism was unwarranted because I was down 2 pounds.

All told, I’m down 71.4 pounds. Which is almost 72, which is pretty much 75, which rounds up to 80. IMAGINE.

I know I say this in every update but I really don’t have too many NSVs this time.

I’ve always described my feet as “fat, old lady feet”. You’ve seen them – the little old ladies with their sensible pumps on and their chubby foot popping out from the top. My feet don’t look like little muffin tops anymore. They’ve always been wide, double wide, actually. I’d venture a guess that they’ll always be wide, but maybe not as wide? Now, like my hands, you can see bones or ligaments or muscles or whatever when I move them. I also tried on a pair of my mother’s shoes that she got in a 6.5. They were snug, but they definitely fit. This is something I never experienced before.

My clavicle is large and in charge. Actually, I don’t even know if it’s my clavicle. I’m talking about the bone above your boobs and at the base of your neck. Clavicle? Breastbone? Front shoulder blades? Either way, it’s coming out more and more. We aren’t at a point where it’s just… there, but if I move my shoulder the right way, we’re in business.

I walked over 3 miles last weekend – for fun. Well, Nicole asked if I wanted to go to the park with her and since I didn’t want a repeat of last weekend’s Thursweigh, I said sure. I used my phone’s workout tracker to plot our course and this is what I saw when I got home.


Cool, huh?

When I was little, one of my biggest fears was diabetes. I saw either a segment on Oprah or maybe it was Nick News (with Linda Ellerbee) about a girl who has diabetes and had to give herself insulin shots every day. It scared the crap out of me. Shots? for the rest of my life? By myself? I’M NOT A DOCTOR! I’M 8! Then, as I got older and realized that my eating habits and family history (my father is diabetic, controlled by pills – for now) dictated my future with (or not with) the disease. There was nothing I could do about my family history and instead of just taking control of my life sooner, I kept my eye on diabetes in my rearview, praying it would never catch me.

I had the revelation the other day that, although nothing is guaranteed, my chances for diabetes have greatly decreased. I mean, I assume. As I said, family history cannot be outrun, but at least now, I can’t blame it all on myself.

Remember the time I went to and came home from California feeling like garbage so I went to the doctor but he wasn’t in so I saw his nurse practitioner and she made me feel like actual gutter trash about myself? Along with the diabetes revelation, I had another one when I realized that my blood pressure (which was never high to begin with) is probably better, my cholesterol (which was never high to begin with) is probably better, maybe my iron levels (which, in women my age, is normally kind of low) increased, maybe my liver enzymes (everyone has a fatty liver, especially after vacation) decreased. Maybe it’s time to pay little miss nursey a visit!

OK, last thing. We went out to celebrate Lisa’s birthday and we, of course, had a small photo shoot. Can we talk about what’s going on here?

These pictures were taken no less than 5 minutes apart. Why is it that in the (otherwise unflattering) one on the left, I look like I’m 95 pounds (I assume) and in the one on the right, it looks like I haven’t lost an ounce? Maybe it’s the angle? I’ll reluctantly accept that, but really? Also, my outfit – is it a 90’s dream or what? The sweater is more cropped than I’ve ever worn, yet less than I anticipated. I could live in those jeans even though they’re getting a little bit big. The shoes are my favorite going out shoe; so comfy and low enough that I don’t break my ankle or my neck. And hoop earrings can never miss.

OK my chickadees and chickadudes, that’s all I have for you today.

Love you, mean it.

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