martina is losing it #15

As with the past few of these posts, you’d be amazed at how many times I’ve tried to start a post and then fell into a Youtube hole and wind up closing the tab without writing a word. I’ve been hacking up a lung for two days now and seeing as it’s the weekend, what a better time to lock myself in my bed to write and convalesce.

Cutting to the chase, I know I’ve missed two weeks of updates. November started off strong with a 3.2 pound loss. I felt that one. My body felt different in the days leading up to Thursweigh. The second weigh-in of the month brought a .5 pound loss. That came as a [small] surprise. I’m not complaining, but let me complain for a second. I had a big eating day on Saturday. I tried to be conscious and limit what was on my plate. I tried to track everything that went into my mouth. I even tried to over track, just in case I was off somewhere. Sunday, I tried to counteract the eating by going to the park and walking around it twice. The walking track at my local park is 0.84 miles so I walked just about 1.68 miles, plus I parked in a spot at the other end of the lot so that I could get a few extra steps in. I could have walked to the park, but I was by myself and wasn’t feeling too great and my feet give me no mercy so I drove. Whatever. At least I got up and went, right? After my walk, I stopped off at 7-11 and bought two big bottles of water, one of which I downed when I got home. So, extra movement, extra water, and extra watching for the rest of the week still only resulted in a half pound loss. A loss is a loss, but could I have unknowingly/ unconsciously wiped out my weeklies? I don’t want to dwell, but honestly, it bothers me that the loss was minimal. I keep telling myself “Remember – a loss is a loss, drama queen.”


All of that being said, I noticed that while I was walking, I wasn’t winded. Normally, and maybe it’s because I try to go with someone so that I have someone to talk to, I’d get halfway around and I’d be ready to quit. It was a beautiful Fall day last Sunday, like the most perfect crisp Fall day, so I wore a sweatshirt and puffy vest and although I felt a little damp when I was done, I wasn’t hot. That’s a change. When Nicole, Jess and I were in California last year, it was chilly every day. The day we went to the Muir Woods, it was a very comfortable 70something degrees. The trail was easy, the trees were tall and shady. There was no reason for me to be a hot sweaty mess, yet there I was, sweaty, gross and uncomfortable.

Except for the extra 56.2 pounds I was lugging around. I am truly amazed that I survived that trip. I can’t wait to go back. San Francisco isn’t ready for this glow up.

Speaking of glow ups, I have a few transformation photos that I wanted to share.


The picture on the left is from Jessica’s bridal shower in 2016. The one on the right was from last week at her baby shower. Honestly, and I’m not saying this for accolades or anything, I don’t see much of a difference. ESPECIALLY in my face. My body, I notice a little change but my chin and my forehead, are still huge. The dress I wore to the bridal shower did me every justice, so maybe it was an unfair picture to use, but I figured shower to shower would be cute. Also, after 31 years of not believing in people actually having a “good side”, I found out that I do, in fact, have one and it’s not the picture on the right. I keep forgetting how much I hate my forehead and it’s my reason behind harassing my hairdresser for some sort of bang every time I go in. It’s to cover the vast landscape between my eyebrows and scalp.


The picture on the left is from my 30th birthday brunch last year. The one on the right is from my cousin’s baby sprinkle, maybe 3 weeks ago. In this side by side, I could see a difference.. kind of. My face, not my chin, looks smaller. My body DEFINITELY looks flatter. Can we talk about the difference my bangs make? A world of difference. They’re like the blanket you use when you’re on the couch with no pants on and then the FedEx guy rings the bell so you tie it around your waist to barely cover your ass. Basically, my forehead is the size of an ass.

I’ve been dying for a bagel. A real, chewy, carby, thick bagel. With a healthy spread of cream cheese.  My breakfast usually comes out to about 6 points. A bagel with cream cheese is roughly 13 points. Not going to work. So, I’ve been on the hunt for a low carb option. I’ve ordered from The Low Carb Bread Company and from ThinSlim Foods. Each time I was disappointed. Maybe they work for some people, but not for me. It’s recommended that you toast them before eating. To me, this turns them into dry sponges. I have an order coming from Western Bagel. I’ve asked Reddit about them and I’m hopeful. Probably too hopeful. Keep your fingers crossed!

I had a mini breakdown the other night about the serving size of pasta. You get two ounces, which equals a quarter of a cup. So, you get about 2.5 pieces of pasta. For SIX points. I really had a mini heart attack, as ridiculous as that sounds. Immediately, I headed over to Amazon and Google to see what I could find. I found some low carb alternatives. For two ounces of the pasta I found, it’s 3 points. So, it’s like eat one (serving) get one free, or something. I haven’t tried it yet, but, like with my bagels, I’m hopeful.

I feel like I had more to share, but like I said, I’ve been hacking up a lung, my nose has now clogged up and betrayed me, and this post has been a whole weekend in the making so I’ll just end it here. I need to rest my eyes.

Love you, mean it.


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