martina is losing it #4

As I’m writing this, it’s still Thursweigh so it still counts. It’s been three weeks since my last update; my middle name is OnTheBall. I’m going to make this pretty quick (3582 words later…) and painless.

The long and short of it is I am officially down 26.5 pounds!

lolwut.

It’s very surreal and hard to accept. I still feel like I’m going to wake up tomorrow and my pants won’t fit. Something tells me it’s going to take a while to not feel that way.

I haven’t gotten (m)any comments on how I look/ looking different, which is disheartening and I think part of the reason I feel like this is all a sham. My boss’ wife came into work today and the first thing she said to me was “oh! you have makeup on!”. Like, you notice that I threw on some eyeshadow and eyeliner (and mascara, foundation, and blush – aka warpaint) but not that I’ve basically lost the equivalent of a toddler from my body? It will come, I’m just getting a little impatient.

The other thing that’s been on my mind is, as usual, the opposite sex. My life is a perpetual dry spell. Or, it feels like that most times. Sure, there’s pops of fun, but in general, there’s not much doing. I re-downloaded the apps (Bumble and Tinder) and started swiping. As we know, I swipe left most of the time, but when I swipe right, there’s a good, 75-ish% chance that I’ll get a match, who I’ll message and then who won’t answer. That’s how it usually goes. This time, I feel like I’ve been swiping left even more (if possible) and when I swipe right, there’s no match.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel like I’m owed a right swipe/match or anything, these apps/men are just making me nuts. I’ve always had a certain amount of confidence and, as I’ve said no less than 5035858495702 times, I know what I bring to the table, but now I’ve gained a little bit more confidence and I’m a little bit more ready for something to spark and NOTHING. Did they find my blog? My Facebook posts from 2012? eesh.

To wrap up, I thought include some Transformation Thursweigh pics. Sometimes I see a big difference and sometimes I wonder if I lost anything. Also, I haven’t had much of an occasion to take tons of different pictures of myself, so most (all) of the new pics are from the night we went out for Jessica’s birthday. I wore a tutu and hoops and bright pink lipstick and was absolutely in love with how it all came together.

facecollage
maybe it’s my head angle, maybe i lost a chin. jury’s still out

body

Before I go, and this is probably more for me than for you guys, but a few NSVs that happened lately are:

  • my bath towel is covering more of my body.
  • i tried a pair of jeans 2 sizes smaller than what i normally wear and they fit. like, really well.
  • i went with nicole to one of my favorite pizzerias after i had already eaten dinner and didn’t order anything. i thought about it, but ultimately got out of there unscathed.
  • related to the jeans NSV, i just remembered i bought 2 rompers that looked ok when i first tried them on. i have to give them another go and report back. also clothing related, nicole brought up that i should try on the bridesmaid dress i wore for my cousin’s wedding. she’s right – it probably fits how it was supposed to in the first place. pictures to come! (i wonder if it’s too late to ask her photographer to photoshop “new me” into her pics. that’s a thought.)

Theoretically, I should be back sometime next week with another update. I’ll probably see you in another 26.5 pounds.

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