i wonder if i’ll get a badge for this.

Yesterday at work, I got a phone call from Margie Adams. Margie is 80 years old and lives in a suburb of Chicago. Her husband is 85 and blind. She’s got no daughters, just a few grandsons.

She called looking for Cushion Grip, which is a high powered denture cream. Unfortunately, it has been discontinued and we have long since run out of our stock. She said she got our number off of some authorized seller list and thought that since the last time she purchased the item was 2016, which isn’t that long ago, according to Margie, so she figured she’d take a shot in the dark.

People call for Cushion Grip all the time. Apparently, it’s the creme de la creme of denture creams (cremes?). And it pains me everytime I have to tell the person on the other line that there are none available and there probably never will be again. Who wants to be the bearer of the bad news that Nana’s teeth my fly out at any given moment during Thanksgiving dinner? Not me.

Margie was telling me that she had written to Merck, the maker of Cushion Grip. About three weeks later, the letter was returned to her. Which, if I may, is pretty ballsy on Merck’s part. Not even a form letter saying there’s none available now, but maybe in the future, but probably not? Anyway, she’s 80 so she doesn’t know the internet and she’s got no daughters or granddaughters to help out (i know i don’t know Margie’s sitch, but she has grandson’s so I assume she’s got sons and probably daughter in laws. i mean, the item is discontinued so there’s not much anyone can do, but humor an old woman, no?).

Being the eternal Girl Scout that I am, while my new friend Marge is telling me all about her Cushion Grip dramz, I hopped on to Merck’s website and found a customer service number for Marge to try. She had mentioned she had called them before but I had a strong feeling that the number came from a phonebook or was outdated or something. I asked her what number she called and sure enough, our numbers didn’t match. I told her I had a different number she could try.

 

 

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actually, martina cziraky. troop 2306… or 2603… i don’t remember.

 

Margie was so appreciative; calling me her honorary daughter/granddaughter. It made me feel so good. Listen, we all know older people sweat the small stuff sometimes so if finding a phone number can help that, so be it. Now, did I just throw Margie into a neverending cycle of “Please press 1 for Products and Services. Please hold for the next available customer service representative” (who never becomes available)? Probably. I hope my new friend isn’t still on hold.

I’ve been having these funks lately and even though I’ve worked through my last one and the next one hasn’t hit yet, I low key often feel like I’m looking for something that maybe I didn’t know I needed (? does that make sense? am i being dramatic?). Margie won that prize yesterday.

Just a little housekeeping before I go. I didn’t realize that I haven’t posted anything in such a long time. It’s for all the usual reasons – (severely) uninspired, bored/boring, lazy, blah blah blah. I thought I had only been away for about 10 days, tops. Then Facebook chimed in with “uuummm. actually, it’s been more like 22 days.” Wonderful. So on track. Much organization. I’m not making any promises, but I’ll try to be a better blogger, soon. Scout’s honor.

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