cool your jets, b

Ok, so here’s the deal. I have a little less than an hour to write this post. I’m scheduling it because I have to be at work tomorrow way earlier than usual. This post falls into the category of “maybe I shouldn’t post this because I’m not sure of what to say and how to say it” with the sub-category of “maybe you shouldn’t rush this one, Martina.” I’m willing to give it a go. If you’re reading this, I’ll virtually accept that pat on the back. Thanks.

By now I’m sure everyone has seen and/ or has heard about the Superbowl’s Half Time show. Coldplay, Bruno Mars and Beyonce. When I first heard that Coldplay was the headliner, I wasn’t too thrilled. I’m just not a huge fan. The Carpool Karaoke James Corden did with Chris Martin helped a little though, to be honest. Then I heard that Bruno Mars was going to show up. I love that pint size Philipino. I’m monitoring Twitter for any updates on a new album; it needs to happen soon. Then it was rumored that Beyonce was going to make an appearance. Here’s the thing…

I don’t like beyonce.

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On top of that, I don’t understand the overall obsession with her. I mean, as we all know I tend to get obsessive with certain things and celebrities also so far be it from me to judge. But, at the end of the day, they’re just people who have faults and I’d probably be the first to point them out. What makes Beyonce so special that she could (hypothetically) slap the Pope and everyone would be like “yaasss Queen B. slayyyyy”?

I. DON’T. GET. IT.

*cue the angry mob*

Listen, I liked some of her old stuff. I even had Independent Women stuck in my head for a large portion of the day today. BUT. There’s something about her that I just can’t like. I’m all for diva behavior but she just seems too high maintenance, which I don’t understand for two reasons. One, her husband does not give off that vibe at all. One of my favorite viral videos is him on the train headed to the Barclay’s Center and having a conversation with an elderly woman. And two, believe it or not, my uncle has ridden the train with her. At first, I didn’t believe the story, but after I grilled him for more than 20 minutes I decided that he was telling the truth. I had to be sure since he did use to steal my nose all the time. According to the story, she got on and was headed to Brooklyn. She was dressed down but still really attractive. She wasn’t with a ton of security (if any) and she just sat and rode the train, in the seat across from my uncle. So I don’t know where the attitude comes from. She seems extremely fake. She seems like a nightmare to work for. Which, if you know me, makes me crazy. I hate horrible bosses.

My first thought when he name was being thrown around was “really? didn’t she JUST do a half time show?”  Then, a few days before the big game, it came out that she was planning an anti-police performance.

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I’m going to try to keep this as simple as possible. First, let’s for a minute take away that she also wanted to perform for the Black Lives Matter movment. I’m just going to focus on the whole anti-police thing because even though they are unfortunately related, the Black Lives Matter cause is not what’s bothering me.

Beyonce – the next time you want to do anything anti-police, please DO NOT demand a police escort. You can’t have it both ways. Think of it this way, Angelina Jolie goes to third world countries to feed children and to help breing awareness to the plight of the people in said countries. I highly doubt that she’s sleeping on a straw mat on the ground, but I also (would like to) believe that she’s not looking for 5 star accomodations either. Also, and I didn’t want to bring this up because there are good and bad cops all over, but you live in New York. You have one of the best (maybe I’m biased) police forces protecting you and your family everyday. Don’t pull that shit. You can take over all the floors of a hospital to have your children, you can drop all of the surprise music videos and albums that you want, but just remember that at the end of the day, you’re just Beyonce. Cool your jets, B.

There’s more to say about her performance and about all of the underlying meanings behind it but it’s past my bedtime already and I think I’ve said what I want to say for now so I’ll end it now and bow out gracefully.

What did you think of Beyonce’s performance? What about the rest of the half time show?

Let’s discuss!

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