RANT & RAMBLE: …maybe it’s me

When I’m at work I eat lunch by myself. It sounds sad, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, honestly. Because, people. I go in to one of our conference rooms, close the door and for the next half hour I veg out with my beloved Youtube videos. Yesterday, I was clicking around and saw a video from one of the Youtubers I watch all the time. Naturally, I clicked it. It was going to be fun! We’re like best friends who have never met and probably never will. Can’t wait.

The video in question was one where she was announcing that she had a product that we, her followers, could buy.

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COMEEE ONNNN!

I know this is the new “thing” now. YouTubers/internet stars getting book deals, travel opportunities, development deals for tons of shit, free products, etc. but I’m not going to lie…

I’M JEALOUS

There I said it. I’m all for people following their dreams and being successful. Totally all for it. And I totally get the value of hard work. These people have worked hard to get to this point in their career. But they are also at a point where they are making some sort of money from all of this. And don’t tell me the money is minimal because if you come out and say you have a team of people (PR, agents, etc) it’s a bit more than minimal. Normal people don’t need an agent. You know what’s minimal? An hourly wage like mine.

I started this blog for the most important reason – free things  MYSELF. I truly did. We all know my blog birth story, but for the newbies around here I’ll give you the condensed version. I started to blog because 1) I like to write and have been told I’m good at it. 2) I needed something to be proud of. 3) I wanted to start something and see it through to the end. Not that the end is coming anytime soon. 4). I needed to find a passion. And that’s my story. That being said, would I turn down money making opportunities, free things, production deals etc if they were offered? Absolutely not.

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Except none of those offers come my way. Listen, I know my blog has a lot of room to grow. I’ve been blogging for over two years and I don’t even have 200 followers yet. My site stats, although not 100% a teller of success, are stupidly low. I understand that companies want to deal with people who will get their products out there but I feel and look at it this way. If a big company gives their product to a smaller blogger to try and people searching for information on the product come across that small blog, it may equal more followers/interest for that blog. The blog will grow and more opportunities will arise. As for the company, they can also share with the big social media mavens and internet celebrities so that their product definitely gets noticed. WIN/WIN.

On the other hand, I also understand and agree that if you want something, sometimes you have to ask for it. Search it out for yourself. For example, if I wanted to be featured on Thought Catalog or websites similar to it I would have first, write something worthy of one of those sites. Second, I would have to propose my work to them. As much as I want to be on one, have I done the work for it? No. So whose fault is that? I remember a while ago I was talking to my cousin about weight loss and how it felt like everyone around me was losing weight and I felt like a pile of shit because I wasn’t. She said “Listen, if you go out to dinner and everyone around you is getting a salad and grilled chicken and you decide to get a cheeseburger and fries, you can’t be mad when they lose weight and you don’t.” i hate it when she’s right. Same could be said about blogging and getting it out there.

Maybe it’s me. Am I wrong? Do I just not understand how all of this works? Maybe my college education has failed me. I’m sorry if this is whiney, but for some reason I’m in one of those moods again. I think Aunt Flo is getting ready for a visit. bitch. Just bear with me.

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