We’ve all done it. We can deny it, try to stop it, or just learn to embrace that it is part of every day life now. I even found myself doing it yesterday afternoon. What am I talking about?
FACEBOOK STALKING
Specifically, an old flame’s new match.
Ugh. I know, right? Since I found myself doing this recently, I figured I’d make a list of what was going through my head as I was doing it so we can all commiserate together in the comments.
for reference: my urge to snoop around stemmed from a text from a friend who mentioned the new match. ok, let’s go.
- hmm.. i can’t remember what the new girl looks like..
- open Facebook app
- what was her name again?
- ugh. i can’t find her. how does she spell it?
- she has to be different, doesn’t she?
- maybe this is a sign to just turn back and not open pandora’s box
- ha! yea, right
- ok, who’s friend list could i find her on?
- this would be so much easier if HE had a facebook
- this may take all night. i mean, i’ve got nothing else to do.
- ten minutes later…
- BINGO!
- what is her profile picture of? click
- oh. they took engagement photos. how nice.
- i don’t even have feelings for him anymore. why is this bothering me?
- oh God. they’re in a meadow
- LAAAAAAMMMEEEEE
- are there any more?
- she’s got her profile locked up tighter than fort knox.
- why does she look so young? am i really that old?
- he looks good.
- ugh. please. don’t go there.
- but he really does.
- STOP.IT.
- maybe he doesn’t look that good.
- yes he does.
- ENOUGH. look at something else.
- she’s really taking advantage of those privacy settings, huh?
- well, i guess we’re done here. until next time, lovebirds.
- close facebook app
- gag
Am I close? Those privacy settings are a killer, no?
Let’s discuss!
