Next stop: NOLA!

I wanted to post something else before I left for NOLA, but here it is, 4:40am and I’m on my way to the airport.

Oh well.

I’ll see you in 4 days- filled with tales from the Bayou. And if I don’t make it back (too many beignets), tell Harry I loved him.

Next stop: NOLA!

image

BeFunkyPhoto

finding my nola

Raise your hand if this time next week you’ll be in New Orleans!

giphy (3)

That’s right, friends! Next week I’m trading the Big Apple for the Big Easy. Four days of voodoo, swamps and all the beignets I could shove in my mouth.

I’m going with my mom, my aunt, cousin and one of her friends. We’re already signed up for a cooking class, so if you hear of a fire in New Orleans on Tuesday, it’s probably my dinner.

We have lots of fun stuff planned in these 4 short days and I can’t wait to share them with you. My camera is all charged and I’ve already bought two backup batteries so get ready for a big photo dump, or two (or seven).

I’ll be ‘gramming the whole trip, natch, so keep up with me on there.

nola, here i come!

signature

late night Prince rambles

It’s Saturday night at 12:22am and I’m in bed, watching the SNL tribute to Prince. They’re showing his impromptu performance at the 40th anniversary after party. First and foremost, he’s amazing. I kind of love that he knows he’s amazing too. #ifyougotit #flauntit

At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, his death is hitting me harder than I had ever expected. Not in a Disney Princess, fling myself on to the couch, dissolve in to tears kind of way. That only happened once, when Princess Diana died.  I never realized how many of his songs are some of my favorites. And since he wrote under aliases and for so many other artists, who knows how many more of my favorites belong to him.

I’ve been watching the news coverage and the repeats of his performances and the thing that I’ve noticed in all of them is how he seemed to genuinely want his audience to have a good time. And how he seemed to have a good time for his audience. A true showman. I’ve heard that he had a fantastic sense of humor, which makes me happy because if you’re going to be weird, you might as well be funny about it. I’m sure he had his moments. I’ve also heard that he was impatient and had no time for bullshit. He was only human. I wouldn’t want to work for him, but I’d love to have been his friend.

Is it me, or is there just something about him? I keep thinking of that episode of the Golden Girls where Dorothy is dating Eddie, a guy who isn’t obviously sexy, yet women find him irresistible. hello.

image

It’s late now and I have to go to sleep. Hope you don’t mind this random late night ramble!

Party on, Prince.

image

17 birthday ideas for the

belated bridal shower photo dump!

I’m here! I’m alive! Did you miss me? I didn’t go anywhere, procrastination has been my first, middle and last name lately. Hence, why I’m coming to you today with a recap from two weekends ago. whatever. my blog, my rules. 

Two Sundays ago, we gave Jessica a bridal shower. I wanted to share some pictures in my usual photo dump style. Is it too late for that? Is it officially irrelevant in blog time? whatever. MY BLOG, MY RULES.

When Jessica asked all 586933 girls to be bridesmaids, she decided that she was not going to have a Maid of Honor. Instead, she gave each girl a specific task that encompasses the role of bridesmaid and Maid of Honor. One of my tasks was to, with Lisa and Nicole, help Jessica’s mom plan the shower. Jessica is simple and classic. Her mom, and I say this out of love and because I’ve been friends with Jess for almost 25(!) years, lives in a Laura Ashley showroom. Opposites are an understatement.

The shower’s theme was Love Birds. I have to admit – I’m totally obsessed. I love bird cages; they’re so pretty. I’m not the biggest fan of birds so I was careful to only incorporate the cute ones.

Let’s get to (photo) dumping!

The shower was supposed to be a surprise, but well, are bridal showers ever really a surprise?

The party was finally underway. Surprise parties, whether they’re a true surprise or not, always make me nervous. Like, jello leg nervous. At this point, I was hoping that Jess came in and loved the room and all of the little touches that make showers special. Taking away the fact that you’re in a room full of people who love you and only want the best for you and your future spouse. That’s pretty special too.

Then we did a panty line. If I remember, I’ll post the little poem that goes with it on here, someday. I’m not making any promises though, so if you want/need it you might as well Google it.

Finally, it was time for gifts. If you’re wondering, we did eat in the midst of all this. Boy, did we eat. The shower was at a steakhouse, need I say more? delish! And don’t worry, I’m not going to include all the pictures of the gifts. It’s the most boring part of any shower. I wouldn’t do that to you.

After cake, it was time to leave. My feet were so thankful because they don’t play well with heels. They were gearing up for the next day when I had my job’s annual Spring Fling. But that’s for next time.

I hope this wasn’t too boring for you. I figured, in keeping with the my blog, my rules deal, I should post it for posterity’s sake. You know, in case Facebook ever loses my pictures and I need a throwback Thursday picture or something.

See you soon!

signature

 

if i say strap one more time...

if i say “strap” one more time…

Ugggghhhh. I have two other posts that I wanted to get up. WHY ARE THEY NOT EVEN WRITTEN?

Sorry, I needed a moment. I will get those posts up, they’re actually that delayed weekend update from last week that I was going to break into two posts. I’m working on it.

Anyway.

Along with talking about Harry Styles (i’m starting to think i’m bringing him up on purpose now. #yolo), sharing my photos of Central Park and generally complaining about life, I like to use this blog to share things with my fans whoever is reading it. This is one of those posts.

Somewhere near the middle to the end of last year (the year before?) I bought myself a camera scarf. It’s the best invention ever. It’s a camera strap made out of a nice, wearable scarf. I used it all Winter. It kept my neck warm and my camera safely around my neck. I used to use the strap that came with the camera but after it opened and fell right off, thankfully in a pile of sand, I decided I needed something else. This year, on my annual pilgrimage to Macys to see the Christmas windows, the scarf got stuck in the zipper of my camera bag. Long story short, it got physical and now I need a new camera bag and my scarf got ripped.

giphy (15)

coincidentally, i can use this GIF for many aspects of my life. #dramaqueen

Since then I’ve been on the hunt for either a new scarf or a new camera strap. Then I bought my new Nikon 1 J5 and my search went into high gear. I went back to Etsy, where I got my first camera scarf. I went straight to that shop but there wasn’t anything that was screaming “BUY ME”. Don’t get me wrong, I loooveee the product, I just didn’t want to buy something just to buy it. Back to the search page I went. Finally, I saw the most perfect scarf strap. I immediately went to the shop and fell in love.

Introducing: Peace Grenade

*let me first apologize for these pictures. I was too excited to attach my strap to my camera to plan anything out. Also, I have not yet mastered the flat-lay. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way…

DSC_0327

The strap is black and white stripes with flowers on it. Very Kate Spade, which I’m all about. There were four options for the ends – black, white, gold and glitter. Obviously, I wanted to keep mine simple, so I went with the glitter.

DSC_0330

I placed my order on Saturday night and got it Monday afternoon. I didn’t even have to pay for expedited shipping! By that alone, this shop earned so many brownie points. Shipping costs/time are one of my biggest pet peeves, but that’s for another post. I feel like I should add, the keychain rings that are shown in the above picture are mine. The photos on Etsy showed rings and I assumed they came with the strap. The original cords alone would never fit where they’re supposed to go on my camera. I should have emailed the seller or paid attention to the description, but it’s fine. No harm, no foul.

The flip side of the strap is a satin-y material which will be nice and soft around the neck. The strap is padded also, which is great because my new camera’s lens is heavy. The best part about this experience is the seller threw little hearts cut from dryer sheets into the envelope. YUM. excellent touch.

I’m already stalking Love Grenade for new styles and planning on my next purchase. i want them all, no joke.

Go over and check it out! Like, right now. Perfect gift for your photographer friend or favorite blogger, maybe?

tumblr_inline_ntnc1e2kW71rhzpdh_500

signature

quick chat

I was supposed to have an extremely delayed weekend recap up today but that’s not happening. I’ll just have to break that post into two separate ones, which is great for you because, more Martina!

Anyway, really quickly, I wanted put something up because everyone else is in a meeting and I’m taking some me time.

For the last few weeks, I’ve had a pain in my lower back that I can’t get rid of. Actually, I got it to almost go away but now its’s back with a vengence. It’s on the left side and feels like I need to be wrung out like a dishtowel. It sucks. I’ve already played internet physician and narrowed it down to sciatica, poor posture or regular old hypochondria. Am I too young for sciatica? Could it be from wearing heels and walking like a newborn giraffe for two days?

image

On a lighter note, except not that light because this kind of sucks too but I’m trying hard to not be the 80 year old that I feel like, I’ve fallen twice in two weeks. First on Good Friday and then again today at work. Both times funny and ego- shattering. The thing is, I never fall. I usually am able to catch myself; not anymore, apparently. The last time I fell, it was off of the lowest balance beam in gymnastics camp. I was 12. (it was actually pretty funny. lisa, of course, was there to witness it so i’m not allowed to forget it. that’s what friends are for.)

image

The worst part is that my first reaction is rage because I’m so mad at myself so, today I fell in front of my Director and desk manager. They kept asking if I was OK and even though I was totally fine and wanted to laugh, my brain was all, “BE A BITCH.” and my body was like, “YOU’RE FINE.” Oh, really? Because my vain-ness tends to disagree.

Speaking of vanity, Mindy is back in 6 days! I’m more excited then I was when Harry turned 21. (right, like I was going to let a post go by without mentioning him. one day.)

What’s going on with you? Anything exciting?

Let’s discuss!

image

Save the Date (2)

a (sort of belated) friday favorites

Hi, friends! It’s Friday, who’s excited? I mean, duh.

I was supposed to have this post up last week, but whatever. I had an abnormally full week of work last week and it got away from me.

tumblr_moj0ip9vG21r713xdo1_400

Today I’m coming to you with a Friday Favorites, what else?

Kodiak Cakes

I saw these on Instagram a few months ago and since then, I’ve been on the hunt. They’re the Easy Mac of pancakes. Except they’re healthy. I finally found them at Target and got the Cinnamon Maple and Blueberry Maple flavors. By now I’ve tried both and they’re pretty good. They’re a little dry, so I put a little butter on top. I’m going to keep my eye out for more flavors and for the Minute Muffins, because who doesn’t love a good muffin? Unless they’re savory because, no.

ef8653132a2f1389694e241bb0b85845

James Bay

I’ve mentioned my new found love of Mr. Bae Bay before, but since we use YouTube for music at work and there’s only so much hip hop I could listen to (don’t get me wrong, i’ll listen to anything, but i can’t with some of these songs. and why won’t chris brown go away? sorry, he will always be a piece of shit in my book), I like to sneak over and put on some 1D or Adele or, my newest favorite Brit, Jim Bay. I can listen to Let It Go on repeat, but I’m also loving Best Fake Smile. I don’t know what it is about skinny British musicians with long hair and a penchant for hats, but there’s something and I’m not complaining.

james and harry

one day i’ll get through a post without mentioning harry. one day.

I still have love for my guys who look like they be in ads for watches, though.

Nicole and Jionni’s Shore Flip (FYI channel)

I love these two; they’re absolutely made for TV. From meeting drunkenly at Karma and breaking the cardinal rule of never falling in love at the Jersey Shore, to ending it in Italy and eventually pulling it together and making a family – we’ve been through a lot together.

giphy (14)

Anyway, Snooki Nicole and her husband, Jionni are now house flippers. He’s actually very handy and, of course, has friends and family in the construction game. What kind of Jersey boy would he be if he didn’t? Nicole (it doesn’t get any less weird the more you call her that, trust me) has a really creative side and I like to watch her put a room together. Honestly, I’d love for her to come in and decorate my house. See? a leopard could change its spots!

The Cookie Monster/ SIRI commercial

We all know that I love a good commercial and this one does not disappoint. The first time I watched it, I laughed the whole way through. Who am I kidding? I laugh every time I watch it.

Nikon 1 J5

I put this little beauty on my Christmas wish list that apparently got lost on the way to the North Pole. I finally had enough money saved, plus a little help from Uncle Sam, to buy it. She’s a mirrorless camera, which as far as I can tell, means you get all of the bells and whistles of a regular DSLR camera in a compact size. There’s definite differences in the two types of cameras, but as I get used to the new one, the more I’m liking it. There’s always a bit of a learning curve with these things and hopefully I’ll get over the hump soon.

Well, friends, that about does it. How was your week?

Let’s discuss!

signature

SGSOKC

single gal speaks: OKStupid

I am so glad I have a blog so that moments like the one I’m about to tell you won’t get lost in the cesspool of Facebook and so that I can rant and rave to my heart’s content and then (hopefully) incorporate the public at large into my conversation. I watch a lot of YouTube and read a lot of blogs and often wonder why everyone in the entire world doesn’t have one or the other. Then I realized what a nightmare that would be.

before i really get rolling, my easter was great; filled with family, food and the cutest little jellybean who celebrated for the first time. how was your holiday?

As evidenced in my last post, I’m not a stranger to the world of online dating. I’ve complained written about it here numerous times. It’s been, amongst other things, an all around funny, discouraging, and hopeful expericence. But listen to this shit.

On my way to Easter dinner on Sunday, I got a notification from OKCupid that I had recieved a message. There was traffic, as usual, so I figured I’d check it out. This is what I saw.

okcupid

Ummm..

anigif_enhanced-18126-1403275452-6

I was feeling sassy, so I wrote back.

okcupid2

Honestly, I get a lot of comments on my weight on OKCupid, usually inappropriate in nature, so I ignore them. i’m not a fetish. I don’t know what made me answer. I just think my brain went to “that was just unnecessary”. And on this, the day of my Savior’s ascension. #rude.

He wasn’t feeling my sassiness, so here’s his response.

okcupid3

Rocky J. Squirrel – I don’t need your “admiration” for putting myself on OKCupid, or any dating website, for that matter. I’ve never had a problem putting myself out there on dating websites, FYI. Did you expect me to thank you profusely and plead that we meet? Like you’re doing me a huge favor. What made you think it was OK to open with a line like that? You couldn’t have just said hello and introduced yourself? Then to get mad at me for not putting up with your shit? How am I supposed to know your level of sarcasm? If you found it necessary and appropriate to leave me a message about being “a very big person” on a website like this, don’t you think other people have had things to say? Things more along the lines of your second message? Which wasn’t so nice. Word to the wise, Rock, don’t open with a comment on someones looks. Unless it’s in person and you’re commenting how beautiful their eyes are. Which I have, by the way. BIG, BEAUTIFUL green eyes.

Did I jump the gun? I really don’t know. I’m probably taking it too far, but as I’ve had a little time to think about it, the question that keeps popping into my head is “Don’t I deserve love?” Comments like Rocky’s up there make me feel like people genuinely think it’s not OK for fat people to find love. Like it’s all a big joke. Like it’s OK to make assumptions, and comments without realizing or caring that there’s a real person on the recieving end of your message. I wrote about this on another one of my long forgotten blogs. It was when that Marie Claire article came out and the writer was talking about how she hated seeing fat people in love on TV and fat people in general. I think I’m getting a little off track here so I’ll just insert the relevant part of the post here:

Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize obese (or whatever word you prefer here) people don’t have feelings. My mistake. I must have been dreaming when I have meltdowns in the dressing room. I must have imagined feeling left out when I went shopping with friends and family who are skinnier than me. On the other side of the coin, I must have been wrong for being proud of myself when I received my college diploma. I probably shouldn’t get nervous or excited when possible employers start to call me for interviews for my first real big girl job. Above all, as the article points out I don’t have the right be to loved, or to be intimate (which doesn’t necessarily mean sex.) You’re right, only skinny people should feel these things.

Here’s the link, for a little more background/clarification.

I probably could have broken this blog into two; a funny one about Rocky J and then a more serious one about body image and the internet, but my thoughts got jumbled because I didn’t realize how strongly I felt. As much as I don’t care what people have to say about my body and how it is larger than perferred, it bothers me. Then it bothers me that I’m bothered. It’s a vicious circle.

I just know what I have to offer and my body type should have absolutely nothing to do with it. I’m funny and pretty and smart because I’m funny and pretty and smart. It’s really that simple. If you don’t want to give me a shot, it’s your loss.

harry-styles-shrug

Harry loves me for me and that’s all that matters.

oh god. i hope i’m not coming off as conceited because believe me, it’s taking alot for me to keep “pretty” in there. i never refer to myself as pretty. maybe it’s some leftover sassiness, maybe i’m just growing up and realizing that it’s time to stop being so hard on myself. whatever it is, pretty is staying. 

Tell me what you think!

signature

SGS Bumble

single gal speaks: BUMBLE

Bumble has finally made it to the Google Play store. Bumble, if you aren’t aware, is yet another one of those right swipe/left swipe dating apps. Except, after you make a match, the GIRL has 24 hours to start a conversation with the guy or else he disappears forever. Kinda love the idea, kinda hate it. Anyway, I downloaded it and, of course, have had some thoughts about it that I am going to share with you right now.

I wonder if Bumble is ready for Android yet. Or do I? Maybe I should just leave it alone.
Let me just check.
Oh, look. There it is. Should I download it?
Nah.
Maybe I should just try it. I could just delete it if it’s terrible.
I hope I have enough space on my phone. I’m not deleting any selfies for this.
Here goes nothing.
Ok, it downloaded and no selfies were sacrificed.
Sign in with Facebook? Oh heeeeell no.
What’s this fine print?
“We won’t post anything to Facebook.”

tumblr_m87hkv1BjJ1qm0u0ao1_500
Oh. Well, in that case I might as well do it this way so I don’t have to remember yet another password. Don’t make me regret this, Bumble.
OK. Remember Martina – LEFT is no and RIGHT is yes.
Woah. How ya doin’, hot stuff?
SWIPE
This guy is cute too
SWIPE
This guy went to NYU? Eye AND brain candy? YASSS.

giphy (13)
This is ridiculous. Every single guy I’ve seen is good looking, educated and have great jobs at great companies. Maybe they should rename the app Unicorn because this can’t be real life. What’s the catch?
Aaaand there it is. I went to high school with this guy. no thank you
LEFT SWIPE

And so on and so forth.

Bottom line on Bumble: The guys are good looking. REALLY good looking. Frankly, I was a little intimidated to right swipe because the fear of rejection was strong. Not just on a looks basis, but on an all around basis. I’m a great catch, but you have to meet me to find that out. They’re all pretty much “perfect on paper”, if you know what I mean.

If you were wondering, I did make a match and I did start the conversation. I did not, however, get a response. I mean, whatever; it comes with the territory, I guess. They also allow you to use GIFs, which gets an A+ in my book. on a side note, too much with the GIF? whatever. i just love a good GIF.

bumble

Have you tried Bumble? What are your thoughts?

Let’s discuss!signature

B

Don’t get mad ’cause I’m asking 21 questions…

Well, maybe not 21, but a few. I’m doing things a little differently for this post. First, I have to direct it towards my fellow bloggers. Today I want to turn the tables and ask you guys a few questions. If you don’t blog, you’re more than welcome to hang out. I have lots of other posts that may interest you. Or you can read this one. Whatever blows your skirt up.

I’ve been doing a lot of obsessing thinking about this blog and what I can do to make it grow; live to its full potential. Since I consider (mostly) everyone who reads my blog a friend, I thought I should come to you guys with some things that have been rolling around in my mind. What are friends for but to over analyze everything that’s going on in each other’s lives?

giphy (12)

I feel a little weird asking these questions because, well, I kind of feel like they’re personal in the way of asking someone their yearly salary. Like, kind of rude, but I’m dying to know. I’m going to talk about my concerns too, so we’re all in this together. Anyway, let me just get them out.

How much attention do you pay to your site stats? How many views do you normally get in a day?
I’ve mentioned before that my site stats are usually really low. There are some days that I will steadily be at zero and then I’ll open my home page on my phone, check the stats, see a new view and then realize it was me. The days that I actually post something are a little better, but really, not by much. Sometimes I’ll have 15 views all day, sometimes 20. If I hit 30, I’m shocked. If I write something that is not “for the blog” (like photo dumps, Mindy Project recaps, or my dream wedding to Harry Styles) and ask my friends to share it, my numbers go up, but not drastically. The post that brought my largest amount of views in one day was this one, but as you can see, it was from a while ago.

What link-ups do you recommend?
I LOVED participating in Blogtober with Taylor and Helene. The biggest reason being I was introduced to many of you guys. The second was that I felt like I was really gaining exposure. My views were going up, my comments were flowing. It was fun! Then November happened and I really felt lost. I’ve been on the hunt for more great link-ups. I’ve found some, but I usually forget to post, or I’m unprepared for them when they come up. For example, I want to participate in the Show Us Your Books link-up from Life According to Steph, but I never have my reading list ready. Or I feel like I haven’t read enough. Excuses? Probably, but, have you met me?

tumblr_meqlz9vFpM1rlyc38o1_400

whatever, MAUDE.

What form of social media works best for you? Have you ever created an ad/promoted your page or post on Facebook?
I have all of my posts set to share on Facebook and Twitter instantly. I have a link in my Instagram bio. Occasionally, I’ll share posts to my personal Facebook, but not all the time because when/if I write about work on here, I don’t want my co-workers to see, just in case. It’s weird because sometimes I want to be totally private with this, yet have everyone in the world read it. #torn. As for Facebook, my ads and boosts have been getting rejected. Once it was for foul language in the title (this little gem) and I’m not sure why they were rejected the other times. do i smell? 

How can I get published on sites like ThoughtCatalog or BlogHer or Bustle? Is it worth it?
I know I can Google this. I actually have Googled this. I just wanted to know any insider’s tips. If you’ve been published, how did you get them to notice you? Other than your fantastic writing, of course!

tumblr_n2y5sru71M1qemky4o1_400

How important is commenting really? When you comment more, do you see a difference?
Everyone says to grow your blog, commenting on others is essential. I do my best to comment, but honestly, I don’t see a difference. Also, sometimes, as in life, I don’t have anything to say. I know I should comment “Great post!” or something to get my name out there, but I really don’t want to be fake. Not that sending a quick complement is fake. I want to be genuine and to me, that means having more to say than a generic comment. Like when you didn’t know what to write in someone’s yearbook so you went with “Have a great summer! KIT” #awkward. The other thing that makes me not want to comment on some blogs is when the blogger doesn’t answer. Taking the really big bloggers out of it, what’s up with that? Why should I take the time to think of something to say if you’re not going to answer me? I try my hardest to make sure I respond to any comments I get and I’m really bad at things like that. I’m constantly in trouble for not answering text messages. If I could do it, you can too! That’s enough rambling.

Do you use SEO? Does it help?
I have an SEO plug-in installed on my WordPress. I try to use it everytime I write a post. I don’t know if it’s doing anything because nothing seems to be different. How obscure should the focus keyword be? Or how not obscure? I know Google could help me with this too, but since we’re here, I figured I’d ask. And, again, if you have any special tips, I’d love to hear them!

And finally (for now)…

What would you like to see from me?
I know I get into writing ruts and I tend to get obsessive, so if you have any suggestions or things you want to discuss or get my highly intellectual opinion on, (complete with relevant GIFs) just let me know!

Leave a comment here or, if you want to contact me privately, all of my links are on my Contact page.

Thanks, guys!

signature

%d bloggers like this: