this is what happens when writer’s block creeps in…

Let me first state for the record, that I have mentally written at least 4 posts. The problem was that I never physically wrote them down or typed them out so all of that brain energy and brilliance was wasted and now you’re stuck reading this. My other excuse is that I had a post brewing about how I heard that people have been making a big stink over Nikki Minaj’s Anaconda and Meghan Trainor’s All About That Bass, and how it’s unfair that they shame skinny girls in their songs. The problem I came across was that when I went to find the direct quote, I couldn’t find it. I KNOW I HEARD IT. I was in the car with Nicole and Lisa and someone on the radio said it. I couldn’t think of anything to say but, “it’s not the same. it’s just not the same.” Because it isn’t. I’ll go into further detail when I have all of my facts behind me. Wait for it.

Also, my social life has picked up. Mindy and Danny are back and we have plans every Tuesday night at 9:30. If you aren’t watching The Mindy Project, you should. Then we could talk about how adorable Drs. Castellahiri are. Mindanny: The New Lucy and Ricky.

Since I don’t have written record of any of the posts in my head, and since my mind has been like a sieve lately, I’ve had to start from scratch. Inspiration has not come very easily the last few days but all I can do is think about writing. Today at work I went on to Pinterest and tried to find some writing prompts that might get things moving. I felt like Blanche Devereaux when she was writing the great American novel and she was complaining to the girls about having writer’s block.

Blanche: Oh girls, I have writer’s block! It’s the worst feeling in the world!

Sophia: Try ten days without a bowel movement sometime.

Blanche: You just sit there. Hour, after hour, after hour.

Sophia: Tell me about it.

I tried to find a .gif of that conversation to make this post a little more visually appealing but the internet has failed me tonight. I could have just made one myself but let’s not get crazy.

Anyway, somewhere between handing out gym equipment and searching Pinterest I decided to check out what was going on in the OKCupid world. If you know anything about OKCupid, you should know that even if your finger accidentally taps the godforsaken app you will get notifications about people wanting to meet you the next two weeks. I was looking through the list of people who have visited my profile and clicked on someone who seemed interesting. I hate making the first move, online or otherwise, so I just closed the app and moved on. I had things to do- basketballs don’t hand themselves out, you know. All of a sudden, my phone vibrates signaling that I have a message. I won’t lie sometimes getting messages on OKCupid is fun, mostly because you never know what to expect.  Who will it be this time? A repeat offender who has said “hi” (or some variation of) 6 times in two weeks?, the guy who looks good in the thumbnail but when you click on his picture he looks a little… off?, or maybe the guy whose profile is written in English but you can’t understand any of it  (“i lykke lawng wawks on daaa beechhh” - umm… i’m sorry to hear that?). I clicked on the message and well, this is something you need to see.

 

I always thought my eyes were my best feature.. guess not.
I always thought my eyes were my best feature.. guess not.

I’m still laughing.

In all seriousness, I just wanted to put something up to show that I’m still here! And with the help of Pinterest – it’s a magical place- I should be here more often. Lucky you.

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new movie alert!

Remember when I tried to tell you the “abridged” story of how there was a movie starring Tom Hardy in my neighborhood and how I met him? Well, that movie is finally being released! It’s coming out on September 12th(so soon!) and it now has an official trailer. Want to see it? Look no further:

I said in my original post that the movie takes place in Boston but, I was wrong and it in fact does take place in Brooklyn. I totally should have offered him my linguistic accent services. Not that he needs it because he is just… TOM HARDY. Need I say more? I didn’t think so. Speaking of stellar performances, James Gandolfini’s doesn’t seem to disappoint. Not that I thought it would.

At first I thought I wouldn’t be interested in seeing this movie because it’s not exactly the feel good rom-com that I usually enjoy, but this one looks like it’s got just enough dark humor to make it not so bad. I just can’t sit through a movie that is all violence and blood and all of that for two hours.

I’m excited to see my neighborhood on the big screen and I am also excited to see the scene that we watched being filmed and how it came together. With my luck it got cut, but I’m going to be optimistic. I keep watching the trailer to see if there are any scenes with that hat and blue jacket he has on in my picture. I found the blue jacket but no hat. Sometimes I don’t believe it was him and just a really decent stunt double or something and that we were duped. Him or not, don’t burst my bubble; I need to believe I really met him.

September is shaping up to be a big month. All new television shows, a new season of The Mindy Project, and now this. I’m excited! Who’s coming with me?

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adventures in job hunting

I just  got home from a job interview. I was extremely optimistic about this one because it was almost perfect. Well, to be honest, the “Pro” column was almost equal to the “Con” column so I consider that a win. They were offering a steady salary, full medical and dental (you read that right, FULL. DENTAL.), it was about the same distance as my current job but, it’s in the opposite direction and in a better area. It all sounds too good to be true, right. I know, I thought so too.

Keep in mind though, that after my last job interview, which was at my current employer- in my current department, I found out that they had “some concerns about my interview skills” and was advised to reach out to one of my interviewers for some help. I was mortified and felt like the kid in the class who did well on papers, had excellent class participation, but just couldn’t pass the test and the teacher had to fail them. I knew I could do that job and whatever I didn’t know I could learn. I don’t doubt that my interview skills are lacking, but the fact remains that everyone involved knew I was capable of doing the job and doing it well. But, it’s over now and the new person has already started so there’s nothing I can do.

I arrived at the place with mere minutes to spare due to unexpected traffic. They ushered me into an office and let me know that “HE” would be in in a minute. OK, sure. When I dropped off my resume I was told that it would be given to “HIM” and if “HE” wanted to interview me I would receive a phone call. So now here we are, day of the interview and I still don’t know who “HE” is. They offered me a folding chair to sit in in the middle of a small office that as obviously shared by two people considering that there was a woman in there who totally ignored me the whole time. This is going well so far. Finally, my officemate must have gotten fed up with me sitting there and she left to get “HIM”. By this time I find out that “HIS” name might be Mike. Or at least, that’s what I think I heard.

Mike (let’s just go with it) finally comes in and says:

So here’s the deal. The positions have been filled because I just hired 6 people.

I kid you not.

Stunned and not wanting my face to reveal my shock and disappointment I replied:

Uh, um oh ok.

Because I’m a college graduate with a degree in communications.

He sits in front of me and continues:

Do you have a job currently?

Still stunned, but kind of thinking that maybe there’s a different position available or something:

Yes, I am employed part time at ________________ (I named the hellhole that employs me)

Nodding, Mike goes on:

Are you good with data entry?

Data entry? I’ll enter the shit out of that data. He doesn’t need specifics so I keep it simple:

Yes, I am.

Keeping on track he continues:

How many hours a week do you work?

Hmm.. maybe he’s got a part time position

It varies heavily. This week was the orientation for the new medical students so I…

He cut me off. Seriously? I’m trying to show you that I’m good with anywhere between 20 and 40 hours a week and you cut me off? I’m trying very hard to stay optimistic. He’s not making it easy. Maybe there’s another office he could place me in. Mike moves on quickly and throws another question at me:

Do you like to be on the phone?

Ahhh. Here’s where it gets tricky. I actually hate the phone. Personal calls are OK (and I use that fairly loosely), but I would really rather leave the sales calls or bill collecting calls to someone else. I’m usually the one who has to call people about their expired lockers and it really makes my stomach turn and my eyes roll. However, I need a job. Especially one that offers FULL MEDICAL AND DENTAL BENEFITS.

Um. Sure. Yes.

My parents are so proud of that communications degree. Money well spent.

Mike scribbles something on my job application, looks up and says:

I’m going to put you on a hire list. Like I said, I just hired six people so it’s all pretty new out there. I get hundreds of these a day (waving my resume and application in the air). It’s very hard to get a job here but, when you do, *sighing* we don’t lay off.

I muttered some OKs and sounds goods, shook Mike’s hand and showed myself out. To top it off as I was walking out I let out a “have a nice day” and I was met with an abrupt “bye.” from my former future co-worker.

As I sit here and write this, I’m thinking if they don’t lay off but needed to hire 6 new people and keep a hire list, the turn over rate must be extremely high. Why? It’s possible that most of the employees are students that graduate and move on. I doubt it because it doesn’t seem like the schedule is all too flexible. Is it the management? Do people just not like working there? I don’t know if I could deal with being at a job where people are miserable and if I can’t find new work, I’m stuck. Again. So maybe it’s good that nothing was immediately available. Call me crazy, or desperate, but on my way there I looked over and saw the Freedom Tower and all of a sudden “Philadelphia Freedom” came on the radio. I took both things as a sign that I was headed for freedom from the clutches of my old job.

Too dramatic?

Well, I guess I’ll keep on trucking. Wish me luck!

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chicken pox > mosquito bites

The summer between second and third grade I came down with a nasty case of the chicken pox.  And by nasty I mean I had a total of 11 spots that didn’t really itch.

This summer I went on a cruise where I realized that mosquitos and other ankle biters don’t travel into the middle of the ocean.  Yessss.  When I got home I innocently sat on my stoop,  like the true Brooklynite that I am.  Without fail every mosquito in the tri-state area converged onto my legs. Kill me.

So now,  between my peeling sunburn and my 493029 mosquito bites,  which are red like Coke cans and hot,  I find myself wishing to be that 7 year old with that nasty case of chicken pox.

AlfieRuKy Family Vacation 2014

Why is it when you go on vacation for more than a long weekend you come home and feel like you’ve been away forever? I just got back from a 5 day cruise to Bermuda. I went with my parents, 4 of my aunts and uncles, and 2 of my cousins. It was a really nice cruise and Bermuda is beautiful but I’m glad to be home. There’s no place like it – or so I’ve heard.

Since it’s customary to gather all of your friends and family that were not fortunate enough to join you on your vacation adventures together for a nice slideshow of your vacation photos that none of them care about since they weren’t with you, I figured I’d post them on here and it would have the same effect. Except there’s no actual slides and I’m to lazy to put them together with a corresponding soundtrack. So without further ado here is The AlfieRuKy Family Vacation 2014!

The AlfieRuKys!
The AlfieRuKys!

 

The trip begins!
The trip begins!
sunset in the middle of the ocean
sunset in the middle of the ocean
Welcome Parade
Welcome Parade
Hello Bermuda!
Hello Bermuda!

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Our glass-bottom boat captain, James. He's a 5th generation Bermudian and constantly barefoot.
Our glass-bottom boat captain, James. He’s a 5th generation Bermudian and constantly barefoot.

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Typical business wear in Bermuda
Typical business wear in Bermuda
There are motorcycles EVERYWHERE. Gas is $8.00 per gallon.
There are motorcycles EVERYWHERE. Gas is $8.00 per gallon.

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my birthday dinner
my birthday dinner
Aww Bermuda moon, I love you too!
Aww Bermuda moon, I love you too!
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Bermuda is still a British colony. One step closer to One Direction!

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aaanddd we're home!
aaanddd we’re home!

That wasn’t too painfully boring, was it? Now it’s time to unpack and figure out how to get my body to realize it’s not on a ship anymore.

Also, I would like to give a MAJOR shoutout to the crew on Royal Caribbean’s Explorer of the Seas ship. Everyone was so nice and super accommodating. Our stateroom (8356) was always being taken care of (thanks Rudolph!)  Not once did I pass a crew member and not get a hello or good morning. They were all knowledgeable about everything that was going on. The dinner service was fantastic (thanks Eleceia and Maurice!). And most importantly, our hands were always clean thanks to “washy-washy lady” – who was, hands down, the happiest person on board. The cruise director and activities director (Leigh and Urky- from Turkey) were outstanding; constantly making us laugh- loved the morning show!

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Getting patriotic

the pledge of allegiance

On my first day of kindergarten I cried as if my parents told me they were selling me to the gypsies and that I would never see them again. The rest of the week wasn’t much different. Sometime during that week however, my teacher started to get the class into a routine. Go to your cubbies, hang up your coat, sit in your chair, wait for instructions. It was also during that week that first heard the xylophone chime signaling us to stand, put our little hands over our hearts, and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. We were taught how important this part of our morning was. There was to be no talking, hitting, pinching, or sitting – just pledging. Soon, this process became second nature. It ended in high school and I have to admit, it took me a while to stop listening for the dings over the loudspeaker.

Every morning I said the pledge and sang “My Country Tis of Thee” with pride. Seriously. I remember the first time I saw one of my classmates being allowed to sit during the pledge. I was in first grade. We asked the teacher what was up with that shit. I can’t remember what she told us but I remember not totally understanding it. We were taught that we recited the pledge because we live in America and that’s what Americans do. Simple. as. that. pledge_of_allegiance Fast forward to last night. The 4th of July. America’s birthday. I was scrolling through all of the posts of fireworks, barbecues, and other 4th festivities on Facebook when I came across one that had the Pledge of Allegiance written out and underneath that it said something about schools banning it because some people find it offensive. I couldn’t believe it so I asked Lisa and Nicole, who are both teachers, if that was true or Facebook horseshit. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t horseshit.

WHHHAAATTT?!

Personally, I find it offensive when people come to this country and totally ignore our customs. How is it fair that we welcome everyone with open arms yet when Americans go to other countries to live or work or even just visit, we are literally spit on and expected to get off the plane fluent in their language and customs? I find it offensive that people come to this country for a better life for themselves and/or their families and they refuse to speak our language. I find it offensive that when I call any kind of customer service I have to press 1 for English. I find it offensive that every sign I read has no less than 40 different languages on it.

I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING against people who immigrate to this country.  My great-grandparents were immigrants but let me just say this – they did everything they could to assimilate themselves into this country. My great-grandmother learned English through her children. She very rarely spoke Italian in front of them because she wanted them to know only English. I could bet my next paycheck that they all knew the Pledge of Allegiance backwards and forwards- like every other American. I love my country. Living here gives me the freedom to write a post like this without fear of being thrown in jail. The least we could do is put our hands over our hearts and pledge our allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. signature

#mancrushmonday: world cup edition

It’s World Cup time again! That sentence makes me seem more excited than I really am. Actually, I am pretty excited because that means there’s a whole new crop of athletes to gawk at when they’re running across my television screen. As an American, I don’t  truly appreciate the game of soccer football. As a woman, however, I can totally appreciate men with accents, tattoos, and uniforms running up and down a field. Since it’s Monday, (well, it was when I started to write this post) I figured I would dedicate this post to some of my #mancrushes of the World Cup.

beckerman-castrol
Kyle Beckerman – USA

I don’t normally go for a guy with dreads, but with those pretty brown eyes, how could you resist?

Lorenzo Insigne and Mario Balotelli - Italy
Lorenzo Insigne and Mario Balotelli – Italy

Oh, hello Federico Balzaretti and all of his muscles. Gives new meaning to “Forza Italia”.

 

Mathew Ryan - Austrailia
Mathew Ryan – Australia

 He comes from a land down under.

Panagiotis Kone - Greece
Panagiotis Kone – Greece

Look up “modern day Greek god” in the dictionary and what do you find? Bingo.

Aleksandr Kerzhakov – Russia

This picture doesn’t do them justice but, those EYES…

This post would be lacking if I didn’t include the ultimate #mancrushmonday :world cup edition-

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Bow down, bitches.

Who are your man crushes of the World Cup?

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A Tieks Critique

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I have horrible feet. They’re super wide, really flat and they stick out. My ankles, knees and shins only add to the problem. They hurt constantly (not chronically though, thank goodness), I can’t walk for more than 10 minutes without them hurting, and they have a hate/hate relationship with shoes. No matter how many glowing recommendations I get for flats, heels, sandals or sneakers, my feet prove them wrong. Everything rubs, pinches and doesn’t support. I know it may sound like I’m picky or a complainer but, as with any other type of pain or bodily complaint, I know what I feel and it sucks.

Enter Youtube.

I was watching one of my favorite “beauty gurus”, Samantha Schuerman, and she mentioned Tieks. She kept saying how comfy they were and how she can’t stop wearing them and they’re the best. yea yea yea. “I’m sure they’re great for people with normal feet”, I thought. A few days later, I heard about these miracle shoes again so now I had to at least look at their website. Bad idea. They come in every color of the rainbow, or if you want an animal print or a nice floral, they have them too. Now I was intrigued. They’re made of genuine Italian leather. It takes three days and 150 steps to make one pair. They’re hand sewn. Maybe they won’t be so bad. Maybe they’re exactly what I need. I looked up some reviews and, honestly, they were mixed. I decided that I would bite the bullet and buy the shoes. If they’re totally horrible, I could return them. I mean, Oprah loves them so how bad could they be?

Back to the website.

I was tempted by the beautiful nude pair, the black patent pair, the hot pink pair; I wanted them all. The practicality in me finally won out because I decided on the matte black ones. The shipping was super fast. The confirmation said I would have them in two days, which I didn’t believe since I chose the standard shipping option. Two days later, they arrived. Nice. They came in a plain white box that didn’t look like it could fit a pair of underwear let alone a pair of shoes. Inside the white box was a beautiful robin’s egg blue box with an adorable flowered headband around it. I was instantly in love and hoped that these shoes didn’t have to leave me – ever.

The tagline for the company is “The ballet flat, reinvented”. They’ve made a full service ballet flat that is even more portable than normal ones because these fold into themselves and could fit into the smallest of places. They’re like the octopuses (octopi?) of shoes.

who needs red bottoms when you can have blue ones?

I immediately put them onto my Fred Flintstone feet, holding my breath until they were totally on. THEY FIT! THEY ACTUALLY FIT! My feet have the tendency to look like fat old lady feet in flats but not in these puppies! The back is not elastic so there’s no rubbing. In all honesty, these are flats, so they aren’t super supportive, but they don’t feel like they’re going to fall off, and I have read that the more you wear them the more they mold to your foot. As far as sizing, they do not come in half sizes so I would order up. They don’t have specific widths either, which made me nervous because my foot is like a pontoon (I have a EE width). I ordered my normal size, which is an 8 and they fit fine and, like I said, they don’t look bad. The shoes don’t look stretched and my feet don’t look or feel smooshed. The soles are made of a nice, thick rubber. The smell of the rubber is strong but I have a theory that when something smells strongly it’s usually pretty good. Like my mom’s marinara sauce. yum. I love a nice sole on a flat. When they’re too thin my ankles go all sorts of crazy ways and it feels like there’s nothing between my feet and the hard ground.

Sorry for the dirt. I was too excited to wear these before I got a chance to take pictures.

I’ve only worn them once and have very little complaints. They started to rub on me right where my big toe meets my foot (like where you would get a bunion – was that too gross?) and under my toes, but nothing that I couldn’t handle. They didn’t give me a blister which makes me want to marry them. Other than that, they really lived up to the hype (so far).

FINAL VERDICT:

The only thing that is holding me back from buying every single pair they have is the price. They start at $175. It’s pricey, I know – believe me, I do, but when it all comes down to it, investing in your feet is never wrong. They carry you through life – literally- so treat them with some respect. Also, the quality of the product is high. The leather is butter soft and the soles are nice and sturdy.

DISCLAIMER: I was not asked to write this post. Tieks (by Gavrieli) did not pay me or send me anything for free. All items were purchased with my own money.

the ONE time…

I never bring work from work home to my home. There’s two reasons for that. One- my co-workers always yell at me when I try to, and two- I’m an hourly employee. There is absolutely no reason for me to be so stressed that something won’t get done that I need to bring it home. However, being the kind of person that I am, when something at work needs to be done I want to just get it over with and move on and if that means bringing it home then so be it. Also, the project in question is supposed to be done by tomorrow. Don’t get me started on how this information should have gotten to me last week.

Today at 4pm I was finally given all of the information to put together the new student orientation packets. All of this information is loaded on to thumb drives and handed out at orientation. At about five minutes to 5 I had everything ready to be made into a compact little PDF file that could be transferred so easily on to the thumb drive. At about three minutes to 5 I CLOSED THE FUCKING ACROBAT WINDOW AND LOST EVERYTHING. “OK – this won’t take too long to redo. I’ll just do it again”, I thought. Nope. I closed the window again. Two more times to be exact. Finally (!!) I got everything back into Acrobat and hit the create button and BAM: popup window. It wanted to know if I wanted to run it in recovery mode or something so I clicked yes and watched as little red Xs popped up next to most of my files.

I WANT TO VOMIT.

OK, fine. So I made it run through again. This has to be a mistake, right? Nope not a mistake because the same thing happens. Just shoot me. I copied all of the files I need and decide that it the comfort and safety of my own home, it will work and I could come in tomorrow with a clear head. WRONG-O.

I needed to download a free trial of Adobe Acrobat since my computer doesn’t come with it. I also need to create an Adobe ID. No problemo. I typed in all of my info and it comes up that there’s an error and to please try again. Fine. I tried again a few minutes later – nope. It’s been over 4 hours and I still cannot create an Adobe ID. Adobe is saying that it’s a problem on their end, which is mildly comforting.

It’s driving me insane because if I had the software, the project should take not 10 minutes. The only bright spot in this situation is that Adobe’s customer service has been excellent. They actually answer your tweets! They’re also keeping very positive. Seriously, five stars, Adobe. On the other hand, less tweeting and more fixing because I would like to go to bed.

I’m going to try to sign up again; fingers crossed!

 

UPDATE: The situation is still not fixed. It’s 7:11am and I’m starting to re-think my praise of Adobe customer care. They keep tweeting that the problem should be fixed soon, just like they did last night. I’m not so sure. I just can’t believe that the ONE time I try to climb to the pile of work that I know is waiting for me, this happens. Whatever. Maybe I should just listen to my co-workers and leave work at work.

ANOTHER UPDATE: I fixed the problem myself. After an almost tearful phone call to the help desk and another one to my mom, I did what I, as a twenty-something millennial, should have done from the start. I Googled. Through this I found that it was not in fact a problem with the software; it was an issue with Microsoft Word disabling Acrobat. That’s not nice, MSWord. Rude. Of course, now that it’s fixed, I jumped into doing what I needed to do without editing and finalizing my documents so I just made more work for myself. But I don’t care because it’s fixed and as long as my director will let me occupy her computer, shit is going to get done. I’ll sleep good tonight.

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