Martina’s Theory on Life!

Right now I should be job searching. I should be a resume sending machine. I promised Lisa I would start as soon as I got home. (sorry Lee!) Well, I’ve been home for over 2 hours and I haven’t even gone to nyc.gov to look at the Made in NY list. I’ll get to it. Right now, there’s something on my mind and I didn’t pay for this domain name for nothing.

I’m at a point in my life where if it were 1914, I’d be married with 2 children. If it were 1814, I’d be a grandmother. If it were 1714, I’d be dead. But, it’s 2014 and I am none of those things. I’m having a hard time with this lately and with things going on at home and more things going on at work, it seems to be worse than it should be. Facebook is also a bit of a shit stirrer.

I have this theory on life that has planted itself in my brain a while ago and has not stopped bothering me since. Here it is- get ready.

I was born in 1987 along with millions of other people. We took our first steps, said our first words, started school, went through religious rites (i.e. baptism, communion, confirmation, bar/bat mitzvahs, etc), celebrated birthdays, entered puberty, discovered boys/girls, learned to drive, applied for college, graduated (you get the point) at or around the same time. As milestones came we celebrated them together. Really, how many bar/bat mitzvahs and sweet 16s did you go to? Think about it.

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The last achievement we all reached together was graduating from college – give or take. Then all of a sudden we were expected to be adults. You want to further your education? Go to graduate school. You want to get married? Find someone to marry you. You want to move out? Get a job. Of course I’m not surprised that this happened. Life is supposed to move on and you’re supposed to be ready to be an adult and do adult things. But I can’t be the only one who sort of forgot that from now on it’s up to me. Sometimes I feel like someone is going to come in, throw me into a white dress, take me to the church and I’m going to get married because that’s what’s next. Then I remember that everything after college is up to me so I check my pockets and realize I don’t have the ticket for these rites of passage. Then I check Facebook and wonder where everyone else got theirs. (See? total shit stirrer)

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I know I am not the only one in this world, in my age bracket or not, that is looking for a full time job. I know I’m not the only one who is totally unhappy in my part time job. I know I’m not the only one who is frustrated by the amount of resumes sent out versus the amount of responses. I know, I get it. I also know that something’s got to give.

Millenials get a bad rap. We’re lazy. We love instant gratification. We don’t want to work for anything. We were coddled. Speaking for myself, I could tell you – I want to work and I will work hard to prove myself. I don’t expect anything to be handed to me. I wasn’t coddled. If I lost, I lost. Try harder next time. Did it suck when all of my friends got winning ribbons on Field Day and I came home with the participation ribbon? You bet it did. Did my parents make a big stink over it? Absolutely not. The fact is that I learned that there were things I wasn’t good at and that’s ok.

I hope this makes sense and that I don’t sound like a rambling idiot. I think my bottom line is sometimes I forget that in the game of life, we’re out of coins. Now in order to level up we’re going to have to take the controller and fight King Koopa all by ourselves.

Am I the only one who feels this way? Or is this another symptom of my Only Child (& slightly spoiled) Syndrome?

that time I met Tom Hardy: #throwbackthursday

It’s that time of the week again! #throwbackthursday! I decided to post this one here because 1) it’s about damn time I got back to posting on here and 2) it’s too cool for just an instagram post. This week I’m not traveling too far back in my life. Actually, the event occurred only about a year ago. I’ll try to keep it short , but when I get excited I tend to ramble and this story makes me SUPER EXCITED.

Long story short – there was a movie being filmed mere blocks from my house. My partners in crime and I went to explore. There was some schmoozing involved. I may or may not have met someone who tried to kill Batman. And who wears a mask. And sounds like Sean Connery. But looks like Marlon Brando. Do you give up, or are you thirsty for more?

Drink up my friends:

BAM!

BAM!

If you couldn’t tell by those perfect lips that would be the one and only TOM HARDY. It’s unfortunate he didn’t flash his slightly jacked up but totally adorable teeth. And sure he looks exhausted and his costume leaves something to be desired but it’s fine because he was so down to earth which totally makes up for it.

If you would like to know the full (ok, slightly condensed) story of how this happened here it is.

Remember how a few posts ago I said that Lisa usually comes up with an idea and the rest of us usually just go along with it? Well, it was Lisa’s idea to walk over to the movie set and see if we could meet any celebrities. Nicole and I obliged. James Gandolfini is in this movie also so we really went to see if we could meet him. (sidenote: we said we were going to go back and we never did. hindsight is kicking my ass.) We found the trailers lined up in the church parking lot and within 10 minutes we were BFFs with the security guard. He showed us the cars that the actors would be shuttled back and forth to the set in. In my next life, I want to be a celebrity. The set was literally around the corner from the parking lot. Two or three beefy security guards would have been more than enough. Especially since Tom is totally unrecognizable in his costume. There was a small crowd growing and I was starting to get nervous because each one of the people had some Bane paraphernalia that just needed to be signed.  Umm, no. After a few more minutes there was movement in the car area so we decided to walk back to the movie set. We camped out near some equipment , but more importantly, important looking people. Growing a set of cajones none of us realized I had, I waltzed right over to someone and asked if it would be alright if we stood there and watched for a while. He said it was fine but to be quiet and stay behind him. He wasn’t really that nice but that dind’t stop me from pressing further. “What are my chances of meeting Tom Hardy?” I asked. With a smirk he replied, “There’s a chance” Not satisfied, I continued “Like, on a scale of 1-10, I’m at a…?” Still smirking I got, “There’s a chance.” Fine. We’ll see about that.

We waited until we heard someone yell cut and be hauled ass down the block where we found a better view and nicer crew members. Nicole had left at this point but Lisa and I felt like we were to close to quit now. Feeling comfortable with our new friends I struck up a conversation with a cute hipster-ish production assistant (?)

me: what are my chances of meeting tom hardy?

him: it’s possible.

me: so like, scale of 1-10?

him: depends on you.

me: true. so do you think he’ll get hungry and need something from kraft services anytime soon? pointing to the kraft service tent

him: we just got back from lunch

me: right. so how about thirsty?

him: we just got back from lunch. you know he’s got a stutter.

me: no he doesn’t! does he?

lisa: how does he do his job then?

me: he’s an actor. he acts through it.

me (to my new friend): does he wet the bed too? he does not have a stutter.

At this point he and his co-worker started to tell Lisa and I about the crazy fans that had stopped by. Including the thirteen year old that screamed that Tom could rub his beard all over her you know where. Stay classy, Marine Park. We were also getting dirty looks from some mean looking woman with a clipboard. A security guard also magically appeared who kept giving us the side eye. I was trying to listen to my new friends and listen to what was going on in the scene.

tom: there’s a dagg in your gahhbage can (the movie is set in boston, being filmed in brooklyn, acted by a british actor)

All of a sudden our new friends told us that if we were going to make a move to do it now. UMM. WHAT? Lisa being Lisa marched right over to him as he walked across the street. He was laughing with a few of the crew members and I was totally paralyzed.

me: this is why she’s been my friend since first grade.

Lisa told him that I was a big fan and would it be ok if we took a picture together. We took our pictures and Lisa made some small talk. She asked him if he liked Brooklyn so far. I stared and smiled. She asked him how much longer they would be filming. I stared and smiled. He asked if we lived close by. I nodded. He thanked us for “popping by” (ugh. so wonderfully British. also, he touched my elbow!). We were facing each other now. It was my chance to say something that would win him over. Dump his fiance and fall madly, passionately, deeply in love with me. What did I come up with? “Just so you know, I would have picked you if I were Reese Witherspoon in This Means War.” SERIOUSLY? FACE. FUCKING. PALM.  He chuckled and might have said thank you but really, what do you say to a comment like that? I guess it was better than my original idea. Before I figured out he was using a Bostonian accent I was going to tell him that I have the thickest Brooklyn accent out of anyone I know so if he needed help perfecting it I would be totally willing to help. Where do I come up with this stuff?

Our new friends were totally impressed with Lisa’s determination. They told her she was smooth as Skippy walking right up to him. They politely ignored my Reese Witherspoon comment, thankfully. Not knowing what else to do we said goodbye to our friends and headed home. Like I said before, we were going to go back for some more Tom Hardy action and to try to meet James Gandolfini but we never made it.

The movie is called “The Drop” and is supposedly coming out in September. Something tells me it’s going to be pretty dark and not what I would normally choose to watch, but from what I’ve heard the talk surrounding it is pretty good. And really, James Gandolfini and Tom Hardy? Come on. How can it not be?

Putting myself out there UPDATE!

Remember when Hurricane Irene hit and the storm was raging, the winds were blowing and everything was just a hot mess? Then the next day, the sun was out and it was like a storm never ripped through at all? Yea. That’s what the Silent Auction felt like. I was non-stop yesterday; to the point where I wanted to change my name and not tell anybody what it was. Martina who? All in all, I think it was a success and we may have even raised more than our $6000 goal. SCORE!

Now, you’re probably wondering how my donations fared. Even if you weren’t I going to tell you anyway. They were a hit! The opening bid on each of them was $25. My boss bid on the one of Central Park in the snow, which I expected and then she got outbid by a student – totally unexpected. Then the one of the leaves got bid on by the CFO of the hospital. I think she’s the CFO. Whatever. A big wig at the hospital bid in that one. The one of the Wonder Wheel got bid on by someone who comes to the Student Center frequently.

So as far as totals go here’s the breakdown:

  • Central Park in the Snow: $30
  • Coney Island: $40
  • Leaves: $55

Not too shabby.

I also heard my boss telling a few people that I had donated them and that they were my work. Her secretary asked me if she could buy some of my other stuff too.

I’m really proud of myself. Not so much for the monetary aspect of the situation, but for the fact that I actually got into the pool and did something that made me a little uncomfortable.

Ok. I’m going to try to get my head back to its normal size now.

Putting myself out there

So it’s been almost a month. I know, I’m sorry. I wish I had a good excuse but I don’t. I just wasn’t feeling it. I wasn’t inspired. I can’t promise that things will change from here on out but I can try. And that’s what counts.

In an effort to make myself believe that when I am doing what I love it shows in the results I sat down at my computer and chose some photos to donate to the silent auction being held at work. In case you’re wondering, we hold a silent auction every year to raise money to benefit the school’s student book scholarship. Anyway, I wanted to donate something other than my used chotchkes. I decided on five of my favorites and ordered them in a 5×7 size. When they came, I went to Amazing Savings, a.k.a my happy place, and found beautifully simple black frames with a black and white mat. From the five pictures, I chose three and framed them. I have to admit, they look really good.

I brought them into work today and prepared myself to show my boss. I’ve made the mistake of dwelling on my job and how unhappy I am there in other blogs that I’ve started and forgot about so I won’t get into it but, for the new comers out there, I am unhappy at my job. I am working to remedy that situation. My boss is a hard, hard nut to crack. I was nervous because although I have been told that I have a talent in photography and that I should show my work more, I find it hard to wrap my head around that. My thoughts always end up somewhere in the realm of “I may be good but someone else is better”.

I pulled out the first one and I’m not lying when I say her eyes lit up. She ooo’ed and ahhh’d over the three of them and tried to figure out where she would hang them in her office if she happened to have the winning bid. I told her that if they turn out to be such a huge hit and incite a bidding war that she happens to lose, I would make her a copy of the picture that she fell in love with. She looked touched which felt pretty good. I asked her what she would value them at so that I could enter it into our database. She said she would value them at $50 each and start the bidding at $25. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was expecting her to value them at $25 and start the bidding at $15. Not because I’m not worth $50 but because it cost me next to nothing to make this donation. Honestly, each picture came to less than $10 – framed.

I left her office floating on a cloud. It took alot for me to put myself and my work out there. The same way it takes alot for me to put these blogs out there. In my head I’m never funny enough or sound smart enough or bring up any good points. My pictures aren’t lit well enough, they aren’t composed the right way, there’s something in the frame that I don’t know how to edit out. I have to figure out a way to crawl out of my own head for a few minutes and realize that I AM talented and people DO appreciate my work. Like I could tell you right now what’s going through my head is ughhh this is boring. stop using commas. maybe i won’t post this. if i don’t post it then what/when will i post? 

SO FRUSTRATING.

So yea, basically I just wanted to get on here and share my triumph of putting myself out there. GO ME!

I didn’t make any concrete resolutions this year but putting myself out there would be on the list.  Since it’s still January and I need a way to wrap up, my other goals of the year would be:

  1. To write more
  2. To photograph more
  3. To stop being so hard on myself (This is a BIG one. And it’s important because I’m annoying myself with all of my negativity.)

Sorry if you found this post a little dull (there I go again).  Please come back for more. They’ll get better – I’ll make sure of it!

In case you were wondering, these are the photos that I decided to donate. Enjoy!

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Better late than never

I started this post a looooong time ago. Then I got lazy and it got put on the back burner. So let’s pretend that it’s sometime in the beginning of October 2013. Now that we have that all sorted out, enjoy the blog!

“It doesn’t get any more awkward than being 26 at a high school film festival”. That’s what was going through my head as I stepped off the elevator last Friday afternoon. Sometimes I forget how long it’s been since I’ve been a high school student. On really bad days, I think I’m still one of them. Looking around the room, the cold splash of water hit me hard. I’m not one of them. I haven’t been one of them in about ten years. Oy.

The All American High School Film Festival is exactly what it sounds like.  A film festival showcasing films from high school students all across the country. It was founded by Andrew Jenks from MTV. You know Jenks, as in World of. He felt that high school students had a voice that deserved to be heard. And he was right.

When I was in high school, we were broken up into houses. Sort of like majoring in college, you chose which house you would like to be in and your choice of house dictated what classes you took towards your diploma. I chose to be in the Media Arts house.  I don’t remember every class I took or every field trip I went on, but I could tell you this, an opportunity like this never came up for myself or my classmates. I’m glad now that there is an option to be a part of something so great.

Going to this festival was not my idea. My friend Lisa had decided that she wanted to go and that I should go with her. She had become a fan of Jenks when she started to watch his show and then eventually look into his other projects. We were both really impressed impressed with his first documentary, “Andrew Jenks: Room 336″, and decided that if he was supporting these students, they must be on to something. We decided to really play up the experience and take some pictures on the red carpet. Because we’re really cool.

we made it to the big time, yo.

we made it to the big time, yo.

As I was taking in the scenes and waiting for things to get underway, Lisa and I walked around the room listening to all the buzz.

“Jenks is a wonderful person for starting something like this”

“He’s such a humanitarian.”

“This is great!”

After a little while we found a bench to sit on and wait for the next thing to happen. I looked up and saw Jenks walking through the lobby. He walked in like he wasn’t the one to pull this whole thing off. Like he didn’t take his small idea and blow it up to what it turned out to be. He had a humbleness to him as he shook hands, took pictures, and kissed babies. I really don’t mean to gush, but it’s the truth. Also, he is really good looking in person - just saying. He made it to the red carpet and started his interviews with MTV and a few other media outlets (it’s been a while so I really have no idea who else interviewed him).While we were waiting for him to finish up with his interviews we starting talking with a woman who was there with her husband and two kids. They came down from Albany to just attend the festival and possibly meet Jenks. Lisa mentioned that she had met Jenks before at a book signing earlier in the year and hoped to speak to him again. The woman encouraged her to speak to him. She told her that you’re only young once and you may not get the chance to be in a situation like this again. Not needing much persuasion, when the opportunity arose, Lisa grabbed it and made sure she let Jenks know how much his past work has affected her. Lisa is a teacher, working with children in the special needs population. She loved that Chad was featured so prominently on World of Jenks. He was very welcoming and did not come off as rushed at all. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end and it was time for him to go into the theater to, I assume, tie up any loose ends before the screenings got underway.

get it,girl!!

We lined up, sandwiched between groups of students from all over the country. The excitement was buzzing all around the room. Finally, the doors opened and the line started to file in. My friend and I got seats up in the front; those seats that nobody wants in a regular movie. Finally, Jenks came to the podium to open the festival. I was amazed to see all of the opportunities offered to kids these days. Oh God. When did I turn 90? Anyway, seeing what is out there today made me almost wish I was back in high school. Almost.

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The last film of the day was an advanced screening of Romeo and Juliet. The one with Ed Westwick as Tybalt. Woof. I love me some Ed Westwick. We hadn’t planned on staying for the whole premiere so about 20 minutes in, we decided to leave. Which turned out to be much easier than it sounded at the time. The girl next to me had her popcorn on the floor, which turned out to not be the smartest idea. Hopefully she didn’t want anymore because by the time I got my foot out of the bag and totally disrupted the whole row, there wasn’t much popcorn left. Also, I may or may not have stepped on Jeff Van Gundy’s foot.

Mr. Van Gundy, if you’re reading this please accept my sincere apology.

All in all, it was cool to experience an event like this. The cherry on top of the sundae though? Having Andrew Jenks like my little collage on Instagram. Don’t be too jealous.

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Here’s to you, bitches!

How was Christmas two days ago already? I know time seems to speed up when you get older but seriously, cool your jets. Anyway, Santa was extremely good to me this year. I had a great day with my family filled with laughs, love, and tons of food. I hope whoever is reading this had a great Christmas or if you don’t celebrate, you at least had a great day.

Lisa, Jessica, Nicole and I have been friends for, depending on how you count, just about 20 years. How many people could say that at 26 years old you have had the same people in your life for that long? Not many. We have been through pretty much everything together. Break-ups and break downs, homework, tests, parental problems, boy issues, unfortunate hairstyles and colors, misguided fashion attempts. Successes and failures. We have shared hopes, dreams, anxieties and bodily functions. We have dried each other’s tears, devised schemes, been each other’s voice of reason. We’ve lied and swore by it. There’s an unspoken pledge that we took with each other that no matter what, there we were.

I should explain our dynamic. Now here come the cliches. I could best describe our group as a mix of the Golden Girls and the women of Sex and the City. I know, I’m cringing too.

Martina(Me)- Charlotte/Sophia
Jessica – Samantha/Blanche
Lisa – Carrie/ Dorothy
Nicole – Miranda/Rose (more Rose though because Miranda was the only one left. Sorry Nicole!) Image

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Being friends for so long, we know to expect the unexpected from each other so when I got a phone call from Lisa this morning asking if I wanted to join her and Jessica on a trip to a New Age holistic store in the West Village did I ask any questions? Nope. I threw on some clothes and I was on my way. Lisa was on a mission for some aura cleansers so Jess and I wandered around the store. The incense must have gotten to us because we each walked out with a bag of stones.

Famished and holistically hopeful, we stumbled upon a cute little underground taco joint. As luck would have it, we were right on time for happy hour which included 3 tacos and a drink for $12. SCORE.

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While we waited for our food the subject of my job and future came up. I hate this topic because no matter what anyone says I always feel like a failure and that my future looks bleak. I guess for someone like me who just can’t seem to grasp onto anything with a firm hold and who has minimal self confidence, this is a normal feeling. I just hate it. I hate the feeling of being alone in the boat even though I know I’m not. Anyway, we were talking about my options with my blog and how to spread the word about/where to go with it. I lamented that I felt like I had no ideas on what to write considering I have no kids, no boyfriend/fiance/husband, and I’m at a job that I can’t stand. And again, having minimal self confidence doesn’t help because I feel like everything I do write sucks. All of a sudden the lady across the aisle gets our attention and says:

How annoying is it when you open your Facebook newsfeed and all you see is pictures of people’s kids and cats? No one gives a shit about your kid or cat. Write about what you think. You have to have an opinion on things, so write about that.

I would like to point out that the same lady who was telling me that no one gives a shit about your cat had on a sweater with cats all over it. The irony was not lost on me. In all seriousness though, I appreciated the advice and it gives me something to think about. It might not give me anything to write about, but definitely to think about.

We met up with Nicole after our delicious linner. We went to the ELF studio store, Washington Square Park, and Barnes and Noble in Union Square. For the record, Nicole didn’t even bat an eye when we told her we started the day by buying stones, shells and feathers at Sticks and Stones in the Village. ImageImageImageImage

Today left me with a lot of things to think about and figure out with the direction of this blog. But there’s a few things that I know for certain, Lisa will always have some adventure to drag us on, Jessica will always be cold when the temperature drops lower than 75 degrees, Nicole will never question a trip to buy stones, and as long as these things are true, I will always have something to write about.

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It’s Christmas Time Again!

With mere minutes left until Christmas (21 to be exact!), and the fact that I have been totally deficient in posting on here, I figured I should kill two birds with one stone and write something festive.

SOMETHING FESTIVE.

Ha! You had to see that one coming.

Anyway, in the spirit of the season I thought I would write about some of my favorite things. Without further ado here are

Martina’s Favorite Things : Christmas Edition

1. Miracle on 34th Street (1994)- How perfect is this movie? First of all, it’s a John Hughes production. I know, I should stop right there- but there’s more! Second, it’s set in New York (where else?) AT CHRISTMAS TIME. Third, two words – DYLAN MCDERMOTT. And finally, well two things actually, there are old fashioned taxis all over the place. Where did they come from? And can we have them back? Also, can we talk about Mrs. Walker’s ring at the end? Way to go Mr. Bedford.  One last thing (I promise!), the head of makeup for this wonderful Christmas gem was Ben Nye Jr. Perfect.

2. Rockefeller Center- Ok I know, the crowds suck. They really, really do. But that’s all the more reason to practice your New York strut. Getting through the crowds like a New Yorker doesn’t mean to push or get crazy. You have to be agile and take every open opportunity. Basically, don’t be an animal. Also keep in mind that in this case the ends will certainly justify the means.

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BAM!

3. Chocolate Chip Cookies – I try to make them every year. Then I try not to eat them all.

4. My Christmas tree – A few years ago I challenged my mom to decorate our tree with only lights and bows and those sparkly stick things. To no surprise of my own, she totally skilled it. So now, we only decorate with lights and bows and sparkly stick things. Sometimes I miss our ornaments since they all had meaning but then I turn on my tree and see the whole living room light up and sparkle and it makes me happy. I could always visit the other ornaments in the basement.

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LOOK AT MY TREE!

4.5 Speaking of trees,

5. Like I could really limit myself to 5 things. The food, the friends and family.My aunt’s cookie tray, the meatballs, the manicotti, and antipasta. The sparkle, the magic. The gifts, the traditions. The movies, the songs. The Christmas specials of my favorite TV shows. The Hallmark Channel and Lifetime movies. The surprises, the wrapping paper. The good cheer and the warm fuzzies.  You get the idea.

It is now officially Christmas! I guess I should get to bed or else Santa won’t come. ;-)

On an unrelated note before I go, does anyone know how to personalize these posts? I just learned how to download fonts and would love to use them on here but I don’t know how to do that. If nothing else, is there a way to change the color of the letters? Let me know!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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